Stargate - Atlantis Quotes



Dr. Zelenka: Explosives, yes, yes. Uh, the problem with an explosive delivery system is that, because the drug is now an aerosol, a third of the tests ignited the medication [he and Dr. Beckett laugh nervously] rendering it useless.
Dr. Beckett: They call it flashing! [he briefly opens his lab coat at the Wraith]

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Dr. McKay: They didn't need you on the Daedalus?
Hermiod: Col. Caldwell believed my time was better spent disabling their jamming code.
Dr. McKay: Huh! So, they can fly that ship without you.
Hermiod: Yes. But apparently you cannot run these tests without me.
Dr. McKay: Really? Well... (makes an adjustment) Try it now.
(simulation is successful)
Dr. McKay: Well, well. Turns out the human knows what he's doing after all!
Hermiod: Indeed. Your assistance on this project will be noted.
Dr. McKay: My assistance?!?

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Dr. McKay: Okay, I can probably figure something out. But no more holding back! I want everything there is to know about hive ships! Schematics, power distribution, life support configuration levels, everything!
Wraith Queen: Then you shall have it.
Dr. McKay: (suprised) Really?
(the data is sent over)
Dr. McKay: Huh, she really did it! This is the mother lode!
Dr. Weir: What is exactly?
Dr. McKay: Only everything you ever wanted to know about Wraith technology but were afraid to ask!

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Dr. Zelenka: It's like being handed the Wraith encyclopedia and don't know where to start.
Lt. Col. Sheppard: When I was a kid and got my first encyclopedia, I started with the letter S.
Dr. Zelenka: Yes, well, I'm sure the Wraith sexuality is interesting.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Lt. Col. Sheppard: (explaining his plan to the Wraith Queen) Once we get in range, we beam a canister into the CO2 chamber and boom! One hive ship de-wraith-ified.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Lt. Col. Sheppard: Who's firing on us?!
Technician: We got two hiveships bearing down on our position, sir. One of them is the friendly!
Lt. Col. Sheppard: Not so friendly...

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
Lt. Col. Sheppard: It'll be a walk in the park... a very scary park, filled with monsters who are trying to kill me.
Michael: I don't understand.
Lt. Col. Sheppard: Never mind. [puts on his oxygen mask] Operation 'This Will Most Likely End Badly' is a go.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


[Lt. Col. Sheppard is alone in a 302, being fired upon by an armada of darts]
Lt. Col. Sheppard: Okay, how about some of that help you promised?
Michael: I told you to target the hyperdrive generator.
Lt. Col Sheppard: I already knew that.
Michael: There's nothing more I can do.
Lt. Col Sheppard: Like hell there isn't. Call off the Darts!
Michael: [annoyed] They won't listen to me.
Lt. Col Sheppard: This is NOT helpful, Michael!

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Dr. McKay: They couldn't have. Even if they deduced the location of Earth, they won't be able to get there, unless, they downloaded something else on the Hive-ship plans. Oh it's something like spyware, just like my stupidly downloaded porn...
Ronon: What?
Dr. McKay: Music! My downloaded music.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Dr. McKay: Where did you come from?
Lt. Col. Sheppard: I managed to latch onto the hull of the hive before we went into hyperspace.
Ronon: Nice move.
Lt. Col. Sheppard: Saw it in a movie once.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Gen. Landry: How'd it go with the IOA?
Dr. Weir: Oh, you know. I mean, does anyone ever come out of an IOA deposition saying, "That went well"?

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


(the Orion is under heavy fire without shields)
Maj. Lorne: One more shot Zelenka, that's all I'm asking!
Dr. Zelenka: I just cannot give you what I do not have! (checks a console) THERE'S TOO MUCH DAMAGE! WE NEED TO ABANDON SHIP! (runs towards the exit)
Maj. Lorne: Hey, stop! Listen to me-
Dr. Zelenka: We sacrificed our shield capabilities with that first salvo, we shouldn't wait any more moments, major!
Maj. Lorne: Col. Caldwell, I'm afraid we've done everything we can on our end! Requesting immediate beam out to the Daedalus!

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


(Rodney is hacking the hive ship)
Dr. McKay: Their operating system is a mess! Good thing I still remember DOS. [after a beat, he turns and looks back at Ronon] Trust me, that was hilarious!
Ronon: Are you done yet?

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Dr. McKay: This ship is being seriously damaged, it's hard for me to find something to overload!
Lt. Col. Sheppard: [appearing from around a corner with Michael] Let Mikey try!

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
Dr. Weir: I'm sorry to put you in this position, but you are the only person besides Col. Sheppard and Gen. O'Neill who's actually fired a drone from that Chair.
Dr. Beckett: Ironically, they're the two people I nearly killed when I did that.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Teyla: We are grateful for your help, but we could never release you, not with the information you possess.
Michael: Then kill me now!
Teyla: There is another way.
Michael: Take the treatment again?
Teyla: Yes.
Michael: What I am is not a disease you can cure.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Woolsey: I've never met an Asgard.
Dr. Weir: You, I think, will love them. They have a wonderful sense of humor.
[Woolsey looks at her hopefully]
Woolsey: Really?
Dr. Weir: No.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Lt. Col. Sheppard: Just out of political curiosity, how much trouble is it gonna cause you if I knock this Woolsey guy in the head?
Dr. Weir: May I ask why you'd like to do that?
Lt. Col. Sheppard: It's just an impulse I had, really...One I suspect I'm gonna have again next time I see him. He may not even have to say anything.
Dr. Weir: I've never seen you like this. What did Woolsey say to you?
Lt. Col Sheppard: Besides judging every damned decision you've ever made?
Dr. Weir: John Sheppard, are you defending my honor?
Lt. Col Sheppard: ...And, judging me for agreeing with you.
Dr. Weir: Well, don't be too hard on him. I think of all the circling wolves, he's the least likely to actually bite. In fact, he might even convince the others to leave us alone.
Lt. Col. Sheppard: Alright, so...no head knocking?
Dr. Weir: It's the thought that counts.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Lt. Col. Sheppard: How're you doing with the weapons?
Dr. McKay: We couldn't hit the side of a barn.
Lt. Col. Sheppard: But hive ships are a hundred times bigger—
Dr. McKay: [interrupting Sheppard] A giant...flying...barn. We couldn't hit that.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Mr. Woolsey: Nothing renews your appreciation for the military like the threat of invasion from life-sucking aliens.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
Lt. Col. Sheppard: What the hell is going on?
Dr. Weir: What do you mean?
Lt. Col. Sheppard: What do I mean. We leave for two hours, and Lucius turned you all into Stepford wives.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


[McKay and Lt.Col Sheppard are in McKay’s lab trying to determine why everyone in Atlantis is besotted with Lucius Lavin. Sheppard looks like he has been pacing angrily while McKay has been working on a laptop at a lab-bench]
Lt. Col. Sheppard: [While he's talking Sheppard moves to sit beside McKay] This is creeping me out.
Dr. McKay: [McKay has been hunched over his laptop typing busily] Yeah… reminds me of an old Batman episode actually. Catwoman used a drug to put a spell on Batman...make him fall in love with her. Ended up doing all sorts of evil things for her. [Rodney sits upright] It was kind of a turn on actually…it’s Julie Newmar in the cat outfit…
Lt. Col. Sheppard: [Sheppard is reading McKay's laptop screen, he absently interrupts McKay ]Eartha Kitt was Catwoman.
Dr. McKay: Not 'till season three.
Lt. Col. Sheppard: [surprised] Really?
Dr. McKay: Yeah, you didn't know that?

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Dr. Beckett: So you finally came around did you. You know, you'll come to know Lucius eventually. He really is a kind and wise...
[Sheppard turns and pulls out a Wraith stun pistol]
Dr. Beckett: Oh crap.
[Sheppard stuns him]

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


[The team talked about what would happen if Lucius gives away Atlantis' position]
Ronon: In which case I said I will track him down, hang him by his feet, and cut off his...
Dr. Weir: Yes, thank you. I think we get the message.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Lt. Col. Sheppard: Hey, buddy, I'd better get back and clean your quarters before the next scout.
[Pats McKay on the shoulder and walks away]
Dr. McKay: [Nervously] Right.
[He turns to leave, but Teyla and Ronon stop him, realising he took some of Lucius' herb]
Dr. Weir: Rodney!
Dr. McKay: It was just one teeny, tiny taste for research purposes.
Dr. Weir: Burn it!
Dr. Beckett: All of it!
Dr. Weir: Right now!
Dr. McKay: Alright. Story of my life.
[Dr. McKay briefly looks suggestively at Teyla, who is not impressed.]

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
Lt. Col. Sheppard: Look, I can't say the Wraith won't be back here again, but I can promise you they're not coming back here because of him.
Keturah: No. Not once we've sacrificed the Wraithbringer to his masters.
Lt. Col. Sheppard: He prefers "Ronon." Probably also prefers not to be sacrificed to the Wraith.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


[Beckett grabs a gun]
Dr. McKay: What are you doing?
Dr. Beckett: I'm going to help them.
Dr. McKay: What are you crazy?! You're a doctor!
Dr. Beckett: What does that have to do with it?
[McKay tries taking the gun]
Dr. Beckett: What are you doing?
Dr. McKay: I'm going.
Dr. Beckett: You can barely walk!
Dr. McKay: I can walk fine, I just can't sit!
Dr. Beckett: And you're a terrible shot!
Dr. McKay: Oh, what, you're Rambo now?!

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Ronon: [regarding a specific Wraith] You kill him before I do, I kill you.
Lt. Col. Sheppard: What if he kills you first?
Ronon: Then you kill him.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
[The team is preparing to go off to another planet. Sheppard walks into the gateroom and sees Ronon with his gun]
Lt. Col. Sheppard: Put that thing away. We told 'em we were friendly.
Ronon: [holsters his blaster] I'm friendly.
Lt. Col. Sheppard: Is that thing set to stun? [Ronon pulls out his gun again and switches it to stun][sarcastic] Friendlier.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis


Lt. Col. Sheppard: I'm still waiting to meet an Ancient race that's invented the car.

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis