Porridge Quotes

Fletcher: You're lookin' a bit down in the mouth, Mr Barrowclough, anything the matter?
Mr Barrowclough: Oh, nothing much. The usual. Domestic crisis.
Fletcher: Oh dear. Mrs Barrowclough left you, has she?
Mr Barrowclough: Unhappily... no Fletcher.

Movie: Porridge
Fletcher: Here you are lad. Shovel it.
Rudge: Shovel what?
Fletcher: Shovel that.
Rudge: Shovel it where?
Fletcher: From here to there.
Rudge: Why?
Fletcher: Why? Ah, if only we knew that sonny, but we don't do we. Ours not to reason why, ours but to clean the sty. Wordsworth.

Movie: Porridge
Godber: Darn your own naffing socks.

Movie: Porridge
Mackay: Fletcher!
Fletcher: Sir.
Mackay: If you want to sing, I suggest you form a Slade Prison Glee Club.
Fletcher: Glee?

Movie: Porridge
[In the prison kitchen, Godber is testing the soup]
Godber: It lacks something, Lotterby. With this soup Elizabeth Davies recommends coriander, bay leaves and a dash of pepper. [Lotterby takes a huge pot of pepper and empties it into the pan]
Godber: I said a dash, Lotterby.

Movie: Porridge
[it's the day of the football matcha and the team captains shake hands]
Mr Mackay: Now I want a nice clean fight.
Urquart: It's not a boxing match, Mr Mackay.
Mr Mackay: That's what I'm anxious to avoid.

Movie: Porridge