Men in Black 3 Quotes

Agent J: [sees Young Agent O]O? No, I call ladies O. To me O is feminine, and K is masculine. You know, I see a couple, I'm like, O-K.

Movie: Men in Black 3
Young Agent K: Look, slick, seeing I live past this, can you tell me whether me and O...?
Agent J: A wise man told me once: don't ask questions you don't want the answer to.
Young Agent K: I said that, didn't I?

Movie: Men in Black 3
Agent K: You are suspended for two weeks.
Agent J: Bullshit.
Agent K: Four weeks.

Movie: Men in Black 3
Agent K: Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to.

Movie: Men in Black 3
Agent J: Damn it! We had him!
Young Agent K: Relax, Cochise. We'll find him.
Agent J: First of all, my name is J, okay? It's not son, it's not slick, and it damn sure ain't Cochise. And I'm not gonna relax 'cause we're running out of time, we're running out of clues and there's an invasion coming. You're not really recognizing my voicial intensity. Oh, but there was one guy that could help. Hey, Griffin! Griffin! Where's Griffin? Griffin. Where's Griffin at, K? He's gone. If Boris gets to him before we, that's no bueno.
Young Agent K: We need pie.
Agent J: What?
Young Agent K: My granddaddy always said: If you got a problem you can't solve, it helps to get out of your head. Pie. It's good.
Agent J: Pie?
Young Agent K: Yeah.
Agent J: Your granddaddy, heavyset man?
Young Agent K: A little bit.
Agent J: Yeah, you know what? We've been doing smart stuff. We've been following clues, doing real police work. It might be time we do something stupid. Something that ain't got nothing to do with nothing. You know what? Now, I want some pie, K. I want some pie. Let's go get some dumb-ass pie.
Young Agent K: Sounds good.

Movie: Men in Black 3
[J is held by two 1969 cops]Agent J: Look man, I have my rights, and I demand to see a lawyer before you press the red button on that device! [the cops neuralyze themselves]
Agent J: That was a standard grade neuralyzer, but you're not going to remember that. Keep in mind, just because you see a black man driving a car, does not mean he stole it! [pause]
Agent J: OK, I did steal this one - but not because I'm black.

Movie: Men in Black 3
Agent K: Do you know the most destructive force in the universe?
Agent J: Sugar?
Agent K: Regret.

Movie: Men in Black 3
Agent J: My daddy gave me this watch, it was the only thing he ever did as I never saw him while growing up...
Agent K: Don't you disrespect your daddy!

Movie: Men in Black 3
[last lines]Griffin: This is my NEW favourite moment in human history... unless this is the one where K forgets to leave a tip... [sees a meteor about to hit the Earth in the distant future]
Agent K: Almost forgot... [leaves a tip - a satellite appears and collides with the meteor, rendering the Earth safe]
Griffin: That was a close one!

Movie: Men in Black 3
Griffin: There's no other way for this to work, K has to be the one to go. K is the only one who can save the world.
Agent J: If he does this, is there ANY future where he lives?
Griffin: Yes. But where there is death, there will always be death.

Movie: Men in Black 3
[from trailer]Agent J: I'm looking for K, have you seen him? Sort of a surly, older gentleman, smiles like this... [J makes a poker face]
Agent O: K's been dead for over forty years.

Movie: Men in Black 3
[a tasered J wakes up in 1969 MIB headquarters]Agent J: You need to turn the electricity on that damn thing. I can't taste my fricking tongue, K.
Young Agent K: How do you know my name?

Movie: Men in Black 3
Young Agent K: [punches J]That's for lying to me! [punches J again]
Young Agent K: That's for telling me the truth!

Movie: Men in Black 3
[from trailer]Agent J: I know what you're thinking: MIB, 3-D, we're going to be blowing stuff up and all that. But that's not really what we're doing right now. We're here for one purpose, and for one purpose only: Just to let you know that I'm about to make 3-D look good.

Movie: Men in Black 3
[from trailer]Agent J: All right, pay attention... [neuralyzes a crowd]
Agent J: Okay. You know how you kids won the goldfish in that little baggy at the school fair, and you didn't want that nasty thing in your house so you flushed it down the toilet? Well, this's what happened... [points to an alien fish towed away]

Movie: Men in Black 3
Young Agent K: Who are you, and what do you know?
Agent J: I'm an agent of Men in Black, but I'm from the future. We're partners, twenty-five years from now you're going to recruit me. And 14 years after, the guy you DIDN'T let me kill at Coney Island he escapes from prison, and jumps back in the past and unleashes a full-scale invasion of Earth. We have about 19 hours to catch him and kill him, so really we need to go right now!
Young Agent K: [deadpan]All right.

Movie: Men in Black 3
[from trailer]Agent J: Hey man, heck, how old are you?
Young Agent K: Twenty-nine.
Agent J: You got some city miles on you...

Movie: Men in Black 3
[the crew of Apollo 11 are watching the fight between on the launch tower between the agents and bad guys]Buzz Aldrin: If we report this, they're going to scrub the launch.
Neil Armstrong: [Passively]I didn't see anything.

Movie: Men in Black 3
Agent J: You're gonna lose!
Boris The Animal: Let's agree to disagree!

Movie: Men in Black 3
Boris The Animal: What's your plan?
Boris The Animal: Prevent the ArcNet from being deployed. Kill anyone who tries!
Boris The Animal: Good plan - didn't work. With my help we'll get the ArcNet, kill Agent K, the invasion will be successful and we will get to keep both of our... [sees his younger version staring at his stump]
Boris The Animal: STOP STARING AT IT! Listen...

Movie: Men in Black 3
Agent O: Wait. How long have you been craving chocolatized diary products?
Agent J: Just today.
Agent O: Are you experiencing headaches? Dizziness? Loss of balance?
Agent J: Mm-hm.
Agent O: Agitation? Depression?
Agent J: Hell, yeah.
Agent O: Ah. There are only two possibilities. One is you've been bitten by the Horvatian brain tick and could die in horrible agony at any moment. [slaps J]
Agent O: [beat]Damn it. It's not the tick.
Agent J: Damn it, it's not the tick? It's something worse than the tick?

Movie: Men in Black 3
Griffin: A miracle is something that seems impossible but happens anyway.

Movie: Men in Black 3
Mr. Wu: That is an Earth fish. Very traditional in China. You arrest me, that's a hate crime!
Agent K: It would be if you were Chinese!

Movie: Men in Black 3
Boris The Animal: Go ahead, arrest me!
Young Agent K: Not this time. [blasts Boris]

Movie: Men in Black 3
Griffin: I lost my world. I don't want you to lose yours. It's only the most infinitesimal of chances, but if it works, it'll be my most favourite moment in human history.

Movie: Men in Black 3
Young Agent K: I can see why I recruited you. You're a good man.
Agent J: What the hell happened to you, man?
Young Agent K: I told you, it hasn't happened yet...

Movie: Men in Black 3
Young Agent K: [neuralyzes young J]There's only one thing you need to know: your father was a hero.

Movie: Men in Black 3
Griffin: The bitterest truth is better than the sweetest lie.

Movie: Men in Black 3
[Z's eulogy]Agent K: I worked for Zed for over 40 years, and in all that time he never invited me to dinner. Heve never asked to me to his house to watch a game. He never shared a single detail of his personal life. Thank you.
Agent O: Thank you, Agent K. That was very moving.
Agent J: That was your eulogy?
Agent K: He was a good man.
Agent O: Ladies, gentlemen, other life forms, when I told the Felucian Zyglot about Zed's passing, she said something that I'm going to repeat. And I'm paraphrasing. Ahem. [starts screeching in an alien tongue]
Agent O: That's just so Zed.

Movie: Men in Black 3
Agent K: Boris the Animal: I blew off his arm and had him imprisoned at Lunamax. Biggest mistake I ever made.
Agent J: Sorry, man. Was he innocent?
Agent K: I should have killed him!

Movie: Men in Black 3