Men in Black 3 Quotes
[from trailer]Agent J: [at a costume party]Is there anybody here who is NOT an alien?
Movie: Men in Black 3
[through Griffin's eyes, J and K see the last game of the 1969 World Series]Agent J: Wait, this game doesn't happen 'til October.
Griffin: Oh, it's always October, November, March... so many futures, and they're all real, just don't know which one will coalesce. Until then, they're all happening. Like this one, it's my favorite moment in human history. All the things that have to converge for the Mets to win the World Series. They were in last place every single season until they won it all.
Young Agent K: You said you had a gift for us?
Griffin: That baseball, for instance, thrown for the last out of Game 5, manufactured in 1962 by the Spalding Factory of Chicopee, Massachusetts, was aerodynamically flawed, due to the horse hide being improperly tanned because Sheila, the tanner's wife, left him for a Puerto Rican golf pro that Sunday...
Agent J: [signals time out with his hands]Uh, the gift?
Griffin: Oh, oh, yes, of course, it's in the box. It's the surprise. To protect the Earth, it's the shield.
Agent J: Shield... Arcanan... Arc-Net! That's what you did! You put up the Arc-Net.
Young Agent K: How did I do that?
Griffin: When that ball is pitched to Davey Johnson - who only became a baseball player because his father couldn't find a football to give him for his eighth birthday - it hits his bat two micrometers too high, causing him to pop out to Cleon Jones - who would have been born Clara, a statistical typist, if his parents didn't have an extra glass of wine that night before going to bed. [Jones catches the ball, ending the game in victory for the Mets]
Griffin: Oh, it's always October, November, March... so many futures, and they're all real, just don't know which one will coalesce. Until then, they're all happening. Like this one, it's my favorite moment in human history. All the things that have to converge for the Mets to win the World Series. They were in last place every single season until they won it all.
Young Agent K: You said you had a gift for us?
Griffin: That baseball, for instance, thrown for the last out of Game 5, manufactured in 1962 by the Spalding Factory of Chicopee, Massachusetts, was aerodynamically flawed, due to the horse hide being improperly tanned because Sheila, the tanner's wife, left him for a Puerto Rican golf pro that Sunday...
Agent J: [signals time out with his hands]Uh, the gift?
Griffin: Oh, oh, yes, of course, it's in the box. It's the surprise. To protect the Earth, it's the shield.
Agent J: Shield... Arcanan... Arc-Net! That's what you did! You put up the Arc-Net.
Young Agent K: How did I do that?
Griffin: When that ball is pitched to Davey Johnson - who only became a baseball player because his father couldn't find a football to give him for his eighth birthday - it hits his bat two micrometers too high, causing him to pop out to Cleon Jones - who would have been born Clara, a statistical typist, if his parents didn't have an extra glass of wine that night before going to bed. [Jones catches the ball, ending the game in victory for the Mets]
Movie: Men in Black 3
Agent J: Did we talk on the phone last night?
Agent K: You hung up on me.
Agent J: Well, that was on account of some of those secrets you mentioned. [places his father's watch on the counter]
Agent J: And it was because I realized that last night... was a long, long time ago. And really, I just want to say thank you.
Agent K: [smiles]It's been my privilege.
Agent K: You hung up on me.
Agent J: Well, that was on account of some of those secrets you mentioned. [places his father's watch on the counter]
Agent J: And it was because I realized that last night... was a long, long time ago. And really, I just want to say thank you.
Agent K: [smiles]It's been my privilege.
Movie: Men in Black 3
[the Colonel guides K and J to the top of Apollo 11]Young Agent K: Thank you, Colonel.
Colonel: [shakes K's hand]Some job you got there.
Agent J: [shakes the Colonel's hand]Thanks, man. Hey, what did Griffin show you back there?
Colonel: [smiles]He showed me how important you are. You and your partner.
Colonel: [shakes K's hand]Some job you got there.
Agent J: [shakes the Colonel's hand]Thanks, man. Hey, what did Griffin show you back there?
Colonel: [smiles]He showed me how important you are. You and your partner.
Movie: Men in Black 3
[from trailer]Young Agent K: [unfolds space bike]They have these in the future?
Agent J: That's what I'm talking about!
Agent J: That's what I'm talking about!
Movie: Men in Black 3
Young Agent K: [while pursuing Boris]Hey, slick! In the future, we ever done the Texas Two-Step?
Agent J: Yes, sir! [proceeds to distract Boris the Animal]
Agent J: Yes, sir! [proceeds to distract Boris the Animal]
Movie: Men in Black 3
Boris The Animal: [meeting his younger self]You pathetic waste of Boglodite flesh! I'd kill you right now if I didn't value my own life.
Boris the Younger: Who are *you*?
Boris The Animal: Look at you... Every mistake I've ever made, just waiting to happen.
Boris the Younger: What happened to my arm?
Boris The Animal: You lose it. Shot off by a human.
Boris the Younger: No human could defeat me!
Boris The Animal: You spend the next forty years in prison, chained up like an animal!
Boris the Younger: No prison can hold me!
Boris The Animal: They built one especially *for* us, on the moon.
Boris the Younger: No human has been to the moon, so they cannot have built it there already!
Boris The Animal: Stop arguing! You could avoid all of that if you'd just listen to me!
Boris the Younger: *You* were defeated! *You* let it get shot off! That wasn't me, that was *you*! [they roar at each other]
Boris The Animal: [calming himself]What's your plan?
Boris the Younger: Prevent the Arc Net from being deployed, kill anyone who tries!
Boris The Animal: Good plan; didn't work. With my help, we'll get the Arc Net, kill Agent K; the invasion will be successful; and we'll get to keep both of our ar... [notices his younger self staring at his stump]
Boris The Animal: STOP STARING AT IT! Listen...
Boris the Younger: Who are *you*?
Boris The Animal: Look at you... Every mistake I've ever made, just waiting to happen.
Boris the Younger: What happened to my arm?
Boris The Animal: You lose it. Shot off by a human.
Boris the Younger: No human could defeat me!
Boris The Animal: You spend the next forty years in prison, chained up like an animal!
Boris the Younger: No prison can hold me!
Boris The Animal: They built one especially *for* us, on the moon.
Boris the Younger: No human has been to the moon, so they cannot have built it there already!
Boris The Animal: Stop arguing! You could avoid all of that if you'd just listen to me!
Boris the Younger: *You* were defeated! *You* let it get shot off! That wasn't me, that was *you*! [they roar at each other]
Boris The Animal: [calming himself]What's your plan?
Boris the Younger: Prevent the Arc Net from being deployed, kill anyone who tries!
Boris The Animal: Good plan; didn't work. With my help, we'll get the Arc Net, kill Agent K; the invasion will be successful; and we'll get to keep both of our ar... [notices his younger self staring at his stump]
Boris The Animal: STOP STARING AT IT! Listen...
Movie: Men in Black 3
Agent J: You helped Boris the Animal time jump. [J cocks his weapon]
Jeffrey Price: Whoa, whoa, okay, I had to! That dude's a freak!
Agent J: He killed my partner! I want to know when and where you sent him.
Jeffrey Price: What, you think I keep, like, a log book? [He glances down at the counter and winces. J looks down and flips open Jeffrey's log book]
Agent J: [reads]Target vector: July 16, 1969.
Jeffrey Price: Whoa, whoa, okay, I had to! That dude's a freak!
Agent J: He killed my partner! I want to know when and where you sent him.
Jeffrey Price: What, you think I keep, like, a log book? [He glances down at the counter and winces. J looks down and flips open Jeffrey's log book]
Agent J: [reads]Target vector: July 16, 1969.
Movie: Men in Black 3
[at the entrance to the Factory]Funky 60's Dude: Password?
Agent J: Hey, look, funky 60's dude, we don't have a lot of time...
Young Agent K: Janis Joplin. [the Dude opens the door]
Agent J: Hey, look, funky 60's dude, we don't have a lot of time...
Young Agent K: Janis Joplin. [the Dude opens the door]
Movie: Men in Black 3
[as K and J leave MiB together]Agent X: Agent K, what is that man still doing here?
Young Agent K: [referring to the neuralyzer]Think I might have cooked him too long, I'd better walk him out.
Agent J: [in childish voice, proudly]I put on my pants.
Young Agent K: [referring to the neuralyzer]Think I might have cooked him too long, I'd better walk him out.
Agent J: [in childish voice, proudly]I put on my pants.
Movie: Men in Black 3
Agent J: [after returning to the present]What do you know and what do you don't know?
Agent K: How the hell do I know what I don't know?
Agent K: How the hell do I know what I don't know?
Movie: Men in Black 3
Agent J: You know, there's a really high possibility now that I might know some things you don't know.
Agent K: I doubt it.
Agent J: I bet I know what went on between you and O.
Agent K: She's a very fine lady, but you know the rules: there's no fraternizing among agents.
Agent J: I think y'all might have fraternized once or twice...
Agent K: I doubt it.
Agent J: I bet I know what went on between you and O.
Agent K: She's a very fine lady, but you know the rules: there's no fraternizing among agents.
Agent J: I think y'all might have fraternized once or twice...
Movie: Men in Black 3
Young Agent K: Griffin, right? Hey, we're here...
Griffin: Because of Boris the Animal.
Young Agent K: Correct. We believe he may be coming...
Griffin: Coming to kill me, yes. He'll be here in two minutes, unless of course we're in the possible future where he made all the lights on Bowery and got here early and is just about to discharge a weapon through the doorway, in which case we're all dead in two seconds. [pause. They all look at the door]
Griffin: ...Ah, good. That was a close one.
Griffin: Because of Boris the Animal.
Young Agent K: Correct. We believe he may be coming...
Griffin: Coming to kill me, yes. He'll be here in two minutes, unless of course we're in the possible future where he made all the lights on Bowery and got here early and is just about to discharge a weapon through the doorway, in which case we're all dead in two seconds. [pause. They all look at the door]
Griffin: ...Ah, good. That was a close one.
Movie: Men in Black 3
Griffin: [spots a butterfly]Oh, dear. This is the one where Boris is coming through that door in twelve, eleven, ten... [K turns to the door, drawing his weapon]
Griffin: Wait! Did you have chocolate milk this morning?
Agent J: ...Yes.
Griffin: [winces]Cindy. [There is a sound of breaking glass, one of the models turns toward the window, and is impaled through the forehead by one of Boris's spikes]
Griffin: Wait! Did you have chocolate milk this morning?
Agent J: ...Yes.
Griffin: [winces]Cindy. [There is a sound of breaking glass, one of the models turns toward the window, and is impaled through the forehead by one of Boris's spikes]
Movie: Men in Black 3
[Griffin shows K and J the future, from his viewpoint]Agent J: So this is how you see things? This is amazing!
Griffin: It's a gigantic pain in the ass, but it has its moments.
Griffin: It's a gigantic pain in the ass, but it has its moments.
Movie: Men in Black 3
Andy Warhol: So what are you doin' on my turf, K?
Young Agent K: Tracking a killer, a Bogladyte. We have reason to believe he's gonna hit here next, Glamourian.
Andy Warhol: Glamourian?
Young Agent K: Mm-hmmm.
Andy Warhol: Right solar system, wrong planet. He's gotta be after the Arcanian.
Young Agent K: No, Arcanians are extinct...
Andy Warhol: Well, apparently they're not. One washed ashore last week. The whole Roswell circuit's all abuzz about it. Alien unicorn, last of its species. His name's Griffin, Griffin The Arcanian.
Young Agent K: Tracking a killer, a Bogladyte. We have reason to believe he's gonna hit here next, Glamourian.
Andy Warhol: Glamourian?
Young Agent K: Mm-hmmm.
Andy Warhol: Right solar system, wrong planet. He's gotta be after the Arcanian.
Young Agent K: No, Arcanians are extinct...
Andy Warhol: Well, apparently they're not. One washed ashore last week. The whole Roswell circuit's all abuzz about it. Alien unicorn, last of its species. His name's Griffin, Griffin The Arcanian.
Movie: Men in Black 3
[J meets Griffin]Agent J: How's it going?
Griffin: How's it going? Well, that depends. For me personally, it's good. Things are good. Unless, of course, we're in the possible future where the muscle boy near the door gets into an argument with his girlfriend, which causes her to storm away and bump into the guy carrying the stuffed mushroom, who then dumps the tray onto those sailors on leave and a shoving match breaks out and they crash into the coffee table here. In which case, I gotta move my plate like right now. [as he speaks, the events he narrates occur]
Griffin: ...or if it's the possible future, in which the pastrami sandwich I'm eating causes me gastric distress. But thankfully your friend, sir, will offer some of the antacids he carries in his right pocket. So I'll be good, I'll be good. Except in the case of the possible future where I have to leave in two and a half minutes, just before he has a chance to offer me the antacids. So, on the whole, I'd have to say, not good. I'm not good. [J stares at Griffin]
Griffin: But that depends.
Agent J: [looks for his partner]K!
Griffin: How's it going? Well, that depends. For me personally, it's good. Things are good. Unless, of course, we're in the possible future where the muscle boy near the door gets into an argument with his girlfriend, which causes her to storm away and bump into the guy carrying the stuffed mushroom, who then dumps the tray onto those sailors on leave and a shoving match breaks out and they crash into the coffee table here. In which case, I gotta move my plate like right now. [as he speaks, the events he narrates occur]
Griffin: ...or if it's the possible future, in which the pastrami sandwich I'm eating causes me gastric distress. But thankfully your friend, sir, will offer some of the antacids he carries in his right pocket. So I'll be good, I'll be good. Except in the case of the possible future where I have to leave in two and a half minutes, just before he has a chance to offer me the antacids. So, on the whole, I'd have to say, not good. I'm not good. [J stares at Griffin]
Griffin: But that depends.
Agent J: [looks for his partner]K!
Movie: Men in Black 3
Andy Warhol: [about J]Who's that guy? Okay, don't tell me he's your new partner.
Young Agent K: Actually, he's my old partner. He travelled back from the future to save the planet...
Andy Warhol: Jesus! Stop, don't tell me. I don't wanna know.
Young Agent K: Actually, he's my old partner. He travelled back from the future to save the planet...
Andy Warhol: Jesus! Stop, don't tell me. I don't wanna know.
Movie: Men in Black 3
Agent J: [after returning to the present]Did we go to Wu's last night?
Agent K: Yeah.
Agent J: Boglodites?
Agent K: Been extinct for forty years.
Agent J: Perfect!
Agent K: Yeah.
Agent J: Boglodites?
Agent K: Been extinct for forty years.
Agent J: Perfect!
Movie: Men in Black 3