King of the Hill Quotes

Bobby Hill: Wow, I always thought this was a crack house.

TV Show: King of the Hill
Bobby: Can I put a gun rack on my bike?
Hank: Do you know how long I've been waiting for you to ask me that?

TV Show: King of the Hill
Hank Hill: Why don't we get you into one of those safety courses and if you're still interested after they've taken all the fun out of it, then we'll see about the ponchos and the... uh... tournament.

TV Show: King of the Hill
Dale: Guns don't kill people, the government does.

TV Show: King of the Hill
Peggy Hill: I still love you!

TV Show: King of the Hill
Hank Hill: Six AM and already the boy ain't right...

TV Show: King of the Hill
Hank Hill: Don't play mind checkers with me, man. I'm not in the mood.

TV Show: King of the Hill
Dale Gribble: This tornado is already at a level two on the Fujimata(sic) scale; that kind of tornado can throw an egg through a barn door; two if one is open.

TV Show: King of the Hill
Dale Gribble: All right, twister. It's just you and me now. Ten years ago you took my shed. Did you think I'd forget that? Come on, bring it on! [a raindrop hits the windshield] GAAHH!! No! Please, let me go! [Dale panics, and the Dead Bug veers out of control]

TV Show: King of the Hill
Hank Hill: Come on. [honks horn] Come on! Let's go! Move that truck! [an MP officer walks towards his truck] My wife is stuck in Shining Pines.
MP Officer: I'm not authorized to drive the truck, sir.
Hank Hill: My wife is in danger, damn it! Now make something happen!
MP Officer: [blows whistle] SECURITY!!!

TV Show: King of the Hill
Hank Hill: Bill, thank God! Make this idiot let me pass.

TV Show: King of the Hill
Hank Hill: What did I do to deserve this? I didn't mean to curse my wife to Hell!

TV Show: King of the Hill
Hank Hill: [worried] Ohh...

TV Show: King of the Hill
Hank Hill: Ahhh... AAHH!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!

TV Show: King of the Hill
Bobby Hill: This is the chance I've been waiting for!

TV Show: King of the Hill
Hank: You're tough, Bill.You're the toughest Army barber I know.
Dale: Set your mousse to stun, there, Bill.

TV Show: King of the Hill
Nancy Gribble: Mention your home was destroyed, and get a free 5-pound bag of onions.

TV Show: King of the Hill
Hank Hill: Fine. But I think you owe my lawn an apology. *pauses* We're waiting!

TV Show: King of the Hill
Dale Gribble: Booooo! I am a high-priced Washington lobbyist, peddling influence! Who wants candy?

TV Show: King of the Hill
Peggy: Luanne and Bobby are at Junie Harper's house
Hank: [Nearly chokes on his beer before swallowing] I came very close to spitting out beer!

TV Show: King of the Hill
Hank: Maybe I should tie the long hair on your head to the short hair on your ass and kick you down the street!

TV Show: King of the Hill
Hank: Dale, you giblet-head, if you were gonna cheat, why'd you buy a frozen bass?

TV Show: King of the Hill
Bobby: Are you taking me to the vet?

TV Show: King of the Hill
Bobby: Hey I'm dressed like a football coach! You call that a block?!

TV Show: King of the Hill
Bobby: Dad, a man took pictures of me!

TV Show: King of the Hill
Hank: (finding Luanne in bed with a boy) I'm in a crisis situation here, I gotta go find Bobby. You two take turns kicking each other's asses.

TV Show: King of the Hill
Dale Gribble: I thought we agreed to never discuss the horrors we saw on the killing fields of the Family Fun Center.

TV Show: King of the Hill
Cane Skretteberg: I don't care how many guys you held in the men's room, you still can't beat us!

TV Show: King of the Hill
Luanne: This is a great Xerox of you!

TV Show: King of the Hill
Bobby: Hey his scoop's bigger.

TV Show: King of the Hill