Happy, Texas Quotes

Josephine McClintock: The last man in that safe who didn't work here, my Daddy shot in his tracks.
Harry Sawyer: I understand that's the most painful place to be shot in.

Movie: Happy, Texas
Josephine McClintock: I guess I should be flattered by your stalking.
Harry Sawyer: There's such a fine line between... stalking and, and being attentive, and I was - I don't know - going for being attentive.

Movie: Happy, Texas
Josephine McClintock: [while climbing out of the cab while towing the RV] What are you DOING?
Harry Sawyer: [while climbing out of the RV onto the towline] I'm trying to save you!
Josephine McClintock: Well, knock it off! I'm trying to save YOU!

Movie: Happy, Texas
Wayne Wayne Wayne Jr.: [while being shot at] JESUS... ON A... CRACKER!

Movie: Happy, Texas
Wayne Wayne Wayne Jr.: You don't think I know what you're doin', do you? Goin' to the banker lady's house for popcorn and pillow talk. Goin' huntin'. What did you do tonight? Did you go someplace nice for dinner? Did you have a few drinks? Hmm? You don't think I'd like to get out some night or have a nice meal? Spend one night not thinkin' about the girls? You know what I did tonight? I'll tell you what I did. I spent it right here [slaps sewing machine]
Wayne Wayne Wayne Jr.: tryin' to figure out if slip-stitchin' or bastin' is the best way to put on a sparkly heart. Because you know what? I don't know how. [gasps]
Wayne Wayne Wayne Jr.: The pageant judges are gonna be here tomorrow. Madison's not gotten all the way through her song. The numbers are all over the place. Nobody can keep the beat. And I'm scared to death that Jensy is gonna drop her [fire]
Wayne Wayne Wayne Jr.: baton and fry like a Buddhist monk!

Movie: Happy, Texas