Deadpool 2 Quotes

Deadpool: [to Cable]Zip it, Thanos!

Movie: Deadpool 2
Wade Wilson: With this collar on, my superpower is just unbridled cancer. Give me a bow and arrow and I'm basically Hawkeye.

Movie: Deadpool 2
Cable: Who are you?
Wade Wilson: I'm Batman.

Movie: Deadpool 2
Wade Wilson: Sorry I'm late. There was a bunch of handicapable children stuck in a tree. I had to...
Vanessa: Uh-uh.
Wade Wilson: You're right. I was fighting a caped badass, but then we discovered that his mom is named Martha, too.

Movie: Deadpool 2
Cable: I'm retrieving something from my utility bag.
Weasel: It's a goddamn fanny pack and you know it, you sick son of a bitch! The difference is night and day.

Movie: Deadpool 2
Cable: Dubstep's for pussies!
Wade Wilson: You're so dark. Are you sure you're not from the DC universe?

Movie: Deadpool 2
Cable: I use a device to slide through time. The longer I travel, the harder it is to control. I got two charges: One to get me here, one to get me home.
Wade Wilson: [looks at the camera]Well, that's just lazy writing.

Movie: Deadpool 2
Blind Al: Listen to the pain. It's both history teacher and fortune teller. Pain teaches us who we are, Wade. Sometimes it's so bad we feel like we're dying, but we can't really live until we die a little, can we?

Movie: Deadpool 2
[from trailer] Deadpool: So, from our family to yours, keep your pants dry, your dreams wet, and remember, hugs not drugs.

Movie: Deadpool 2
Firefist: Stay back or Justin Bieber dies!
Deadpool: [to Negasonic Teenage Warhead]Ha! Justin Bieber. He called you Justin Bieber.

Movie: Deadpool 2
Weasel: And last but not least... Peter.
Deadpool: Any power you wanna tell us about.
Peter: I don't... I don't have one. Um, I just saw the ad.
Deadpool: You're in.

Movie: Deadpool 2
Cable: You remind me of my wife.
Wade Wilson: I'm sorry?
Cable: I said you remind me...
Wade Wilson: No, I'm sorry that you said that while making heavy eye contact and applying lip balm.

Movie: Deadpool 2
Wade Wilson: I loved her. I loved her like an ocean loves water.
Weasel: An ocean is water.

Movie: Deadpool 2
Deadpool: [to Cable]You killed Black Tom, you racist son of a bitch!

Movie: Deadpool 2
Deadpool: Any powers you wanna tell us about? Any, uh...
Peter: No. I don't have one. Um, I just saw the ad. I thought it looked fun.
Deadpool: ...You're in.
Dopinder: [in the background, throws a box of supplies]FUCK!

Movie: Deadpool 2
[from trailer] Cable: I was born into war, bred into it. People think they understand pain, but they have no concept of it. What's the most pain you've ever felt? Maybe the kind that leaves you more machine than man.
Deadpool: [halts trailer]Wait, no, STOP! What in the actual ass? Dale! Why, why are the visual effects not done? It's a metal arm! It's not like we're trying to remove a mustache! Oh fuck it, I'll do it myself...

Movie: Deadpool 2
Deadpool: I don't speak Cantonese, Mr... [looks at card, then tosses it]
Deadpool: Well, I'm not even going to attempt that. But I did take eighth grade Spanish, so donde esta la biblioteca? Which literally translates to: I don't bargain, pumpkin-fucker.

Movie: Deadpool 2
Deadpool: [fighting the Juggernaut]Hey, big guy, the sun's getting real low.

Movie: Deadpool 2
Deadpool: [while dying]Can you see it? Do you see that beautiful bright light? There it is. [dramatic pause]
Deadpool: Oh, that's the sun. Don't stare directly into that.

Movie: Deadpool 2
Deadpool: Only best buddies execute pedophiles together.

Movie: Deadpool 2
Deadpool: I don't know how to thank you, but I do know how to hug you.
Cable: No.
Deadpool: [gets closer to Cable]Yes. Here we go. Bring it in. [hugging Cable]
Deadpool: Come on. Pelvis to pelvis. Let's go tip to tip. There we go, the kids call this docking. [hears a knife open]
Deadpool: Is there a knife in my dick?
Cable: There's a knife in your dick, yeah.

Movie: Deadpool 2
Deadpool: You know what we need to do? We need to build a fucking team. We need 'em tough, morally flexible, and young enough so they can carry this franchise 10-12 years.
Dopinder: My body is an instrument of death.
Deadpool: Not now, Dopinder.

Movie: Deadpool 2
Domino: They're headed into the tunnel.
Deadpool: I'm that kid's only hope, so sit tight and wait for my word.
Domino: Whatever. We're gonna lose 'em. I'm dropping in.
Deadpool: Uh, that's a negative, sole survivor. Luck is not a superpower! We are so fucked!
Deadpool: No, we are most certainly not fucked.
Deadpool: Seriously, I don't get it! What, you shoot luck lasers out your eyes? It's just hard to picture. And certainly not very cinematic. I mean, luck? What coked-out, glass pipe-sucking freakshow comic book artist came up with that little chestnut? Probably a guy who can't draw feet!

Movie: Deadpool 2
Black Tom: I'm Black Tom Cassidy.
Wade Wilson: White Wade Wilson.

Movie: Deadpool 2
Cable: You're not a fuckin' hero. You're just an annoying clown dressed up as a sex toy.

Movie: Deadpool 2
Deadpool: Cable, you get back to your family and you tell them Wade says hi. And promise me, promise me one thing: that you'll start judging people not by the color of the skin but by the content of their character.
Cable: Jesus...

Movie: Deadpool 2
Juggernaut: I'm gonna rip you in half now.
Deadpool: That is such a Juggernaut thing to say!

Movie: Deadpool 2
Peter: [putting lotion on face]I don't know much about this Cable fella, but I guarantee you he hasn't killed as many people as melanoma has.

Movie: Deadpool 2
Firefist: How do you know what I want?
Deadpool: Because I've been inside you. That came out wrong. I've been inside your shoes, which is also off-putting.

Movie: Deadpool 2
Deadpool: I know what you're thinking: I'm so glad I left the kiddos at home. But that's where you'd be wrong. That babysitter of yours is high as fuck right now. And believe it or not, Deadpool 2 is a family film. True story. And every big family film starts... with a vicious murder. Bambi, The Lion King, Saw 7.

Movie: Deadpool 2