Deadpool 2 Quotes
Zeitgeist: I'm Zeitgeist.
Deadpool: Cool. I'd like to say you have the power to put your finger on the... pulse of society?
Zeitgeist: No... No, I spit acidic vomit.
Deadpool: Oh.
Zeitgeist: You want me to demonstrate?
Deadpool: No, thank you.
Weasel: We'll take your word for it.
Deadpool: Yeah, listen, we've all eaten at Arby's. Okay?
Deadpool: Cool. I'd like to say you have the power to put your finger on the... pulse of society?
Zeitgeist: No... No, I spit acidic vomit.
Deadpool: Oh.
Zeitgeist: You want me to demonstrate?
Deadpool: No, thank you.
Weasel: We'll take your word for it.
Deadpool: Yeah, listen, we've all eaten at Arby's. Okay?
Movie: Deadpool 2
[first lines] Deadpool: Fuck Wolverine. First he rides my coattails with the R-rating, and then, that hairy motherfucker ups the ante by dying. What a dick. Well, guess what, Wolvie? I'm dying in this one, too.
Movie: Deadpool 2
Buck: You know what fine stands for, Wade? Fucked up, insecure, needy, and emotional.
Movie: Deadpool 2
Weasel: Meet Bedlam.
Deadpool: Cool name. Superpowers?
Bedlam: I can distort electrical fields. Including the one inside your brain, causing anxiety, confusion, pain.
Deadpool: So, basically, you're Dave Matthews.
Deadpool: Cool name. Superpowers?
Bedlam: I can distort electrical fields. Including the one inside your brain, causing anxiety, confusion, pain.
Deadpool: So, basically, you're Dave Matthews.
Movie: Deadpool 2
Wade Wilson: [to Cable]Is that a fanny pack? I used to have one of those in nineteen-ninety-never.
Movie: Deadpool 2
Deadpool: In every film, there's a moment when the hero hits rock bottom. In Cool Runnings, it was when John Candy's prized bobsled broke. In Human Centipede, it was when those people signed on to be in that movie. But in this film, well, you're looking at it. Rock, meet Bottom.
Movie: Deadpool 2
Deadpool: Say fuck for me. Just once. Come on, we'll do it together. It's no big deal. Here we go, 1-2-3. Fu... fu...
Colossus: Fuck.
Deadpool: Wow. Enjoy hell, smut mouth.
Colossus: Fuck.
Deadpool: Wow. Enjoy hell, smut mouth.
Movie: Deadpool 2
Dopinder: I could be of great use.
Wade Wilson: What's your superpower?
Dopinder: [thinks, then smiles]Courage.
Wade Wilson: That's adorable.
Weasel: Do you have the courage to check and see if there are enough sanitary napkins in the DISPENSER?
Dopinder: [quietly]Yes.
Wade Wilson: What's your superpower?
Dopinder: [thinks, then smiles]Courage.
Wade Wilson: That's adorable.
Weasel: Do you have the courage to check and see if there are enough sanitary napkins in the DISPENSER?
Dopinder: [quietly]Yes.
Movie: Deadpool 2
Deadpool: [yelling at Colossus inside the Xavier Institute]You know what? Doing the right thing is sometimes messy, and fucked up, and not particularly convenient. So, stay here in Chateau de Virgin while we go get our fuck on!
Movie: Deadpool 2
Wade Wilson: [Last words]Woodpecker... Gingivitis... Cuntpop... Do you wanna build a snowman?
Movie: Deadpool 2
Wade Wilson: The asshole who killed Vanessa got away.
Colossus: Wade, whoever they are, we'll track them down, and bring them to justice.
Wade Wilson: It was me. I'm the asshole who got away. I've killed every last one of them, except me. I couldn't kill me. [Wade starts breaking down]
Wade Wilson: We were going to start a family. We were, uh... We were gonna be a family...
Colossus: Wade, Vanessa is gone. She's not coming back. This might not be the family you want, but it's the family you need. You have a good heart. It belongs here, where it can grow.
Wade Wilson: What did you say? About my heart? [Wade hugs Colossus]
Wade Wilson: I think I'm in the right place.
Colossus: Wade, whoever they are, we'll track them down, and bring them to justice.
Wade Wilson: It was me. I'm the asshole who got away. I've killed every last one of them, except me. I couldn't kill me. [Wade starts breaking down]
Wade Wilson: We were going to start a family. We were, uh... We were gonna be a family...
Colossus: Wade, Vanessa is gone. She's not coming back. This might not be the family you want, but it's the family you need. You have a good heart. It belongs here, where it can grow.
Wade Wilson: What did you say? About my heart? [Wade hugs Colossus]
Wade Wilson: I think I'm in the right place.
Movie: Deadpool 2
[from trailer] Vanessa: Kids give us a chance of being better than we used to be. He needs you.
Movie: Deadpool 2
Wade Wilson: I'm gonna go make desert. You get the strap-on, and let's make a superbaby.
Vanessa: Pretty sure it doesn't work that way, but we can try.
Vanessa: Pretty sure it doesn't work that way, but we can try.
Movie: Deadpool 2
Deadpool: [upon opening his anniversary gift from Vanessa]Oh, well that's... that's just the most... beautiful thing that I've- I don't know what this is.
Vanessa: My IUD.
Deadpool: ...A bomb?
Vanessa: No, dip-for-brains, my birth control device.
Vanessa: My IUD.
Deadpool: ...A bomb?
Vanessa: No, dip-for-brains, my birth control device.
Movie: Deadpool 2
Colossus: What are you doing?
Deadpool: My job. You're the one who said I was ready, and I frankly disagreed with you. But here we are, trying to overcome our differences. Like BeyoncÚ says: please... [puts his hand on Colossus' chest]
Deadpool: please stop cheating on me.
Deadpool: My job. You're the one who said I was ready, and I frankly disagreed with you. But here we are, trying to overcome our differences. Like BeyoncÚ says: please... [puts his hand on Colossus' chest]
Deadpool: please stop cheating on me.
Movie: Deadpool 2
[Weapon XI appears in front of Wolverine] Wolverine: Wade, is that you? [pause]
Wolverine: I guess Stryker finally figured out how to shut you up. [as Wolverine extends his claws, Weapon XI is suddenly shot in the head by Deadpool]
Deadpool: Hey, it's me! Don't scratch! Just cleaning up the timelines! Look, eventually, you're going to hang up the claws, and it's gonna make a lot of people very sad.
Wolverine: Huh?
Deadpool: But one day, your old pal Wade's gonna ask you to get back in the saddle again. [shoots Weapon XI again twice]
Deadpool: And when he does, say yes. [continues to shoot Weapon XI]
Wolverine: Oh, right. [Deadpool waves at Wolverine while shooting Weapon XI and walking away]
Deadpool: [whispers]I love you.
Wolverine: I guess Stryker finally figured out how to shut you up. [as Wolverine extends his claws, Weapon XI is suddenly shot in the head by Deadpool]
Deadpool: Hey, it's me! Don't scratch! Just cleaning up the timelines! Look, eventually, you're going to hang up the claws, and it's gonna make a lot of people very sad.
Wolverine: Huh?
Deadpool: But one day, your old pal Wade's gonna ask you to get back in the saddle again. [shoots Weapon XI again twice]
Deadpool: And when he does, say yes. [continues to shoot Weapon XI]
Wolverine: Oh, right. [Deadpool waves at Wolverine while shooting Weapon XI and walking away]
Deadpool: [whispers]I love you.
Movie: Deadpool 2
Wade Wilson: Sorry I'm late. There was a bunch of handicapable children stuck in a tree and I had to, uh...
Vanessa: Uh-uh.
Wade Wilson: You're right. I was fighting a caped badass. But then we discovered his mom is named Martha, too.
Vanessa: No.
Wade Wilson: You got me. I was rounding up all the gluten in the world and launching it into space where it can't not hurt us ever again.
Vanessa: Try again.
Wade Wilson: Diarrhea? We can't be sure until I get this suit off but, uh, all signs point to yes. Traffic? Hmm?
Vanessa: Kiss me like you miss me, Red.
Vanessa: Uh-uh.
Wade Wilson: You're right. I was fighting a caped badass. But then we discovered his mom is named Martha, too.
Vanessa: No.
Wade Wilson: You got me. I was rounding up all the gluten in the world and launching it into space where it can't not hurt us ever again.
Vanessa: Try again.
Wade Wilson: Diarrhea? We can't be sure until I get this suit off but, uh, all signs point to yes. Traffic? Hmm?
Vanessa: Kiss me like you miss me, Red.
Movie: Deadpool 2
Juggernaut: Now I'm gonna shove the red guy up the old guy.
Deadpool: I believe him!
Deadpool: I believe him!
Movie: Deadpool 2
Negasonic Teenage Warhead: [Talking about Yukio to Wade]She's my girlfriend you intolerant shit.
Wade Wilson: I'm just surprised anyone would date you, especially Pinkie Pie from My Little Pony. [Winks]
Wade Wilson: I'm just surprised anyone would date you, especially Pinkie Pie from My Little Pony. [Winks]
Movie: Deadpool 2
Weasel: [to Wade]Go home. You've been here for three days, okay? You smell like somebody shit in a civil war wound after it'd become gangrenous. They should've just amputated it, why shit in it? Doesn't make any sense.
Movie: Deadpool 2
Deadpool: [Wishing for the Vanisher's safety landing]Maybe the wind can't blow what it can't see. [the Vanisher hits electrical wires and gets electrocuted]
Deadpool: Really?
Deadpool: Really?
Movie: Deadpool 2