Deadpool 2 Quotes
Deadpool: So, what exactly do you do in the future, anyway, huh? Some kind of soldier?
Cable: Yeah, something like that.
Deadpool: I was a soldier. Special Forces. I bet fifty years from now we'll be bestest buddies.
Cable: Fifty years from now you'll be very dead. Your entire generation will fuck this planet into a coma.
Deadpool: Boom! [makes exploding sound]
Deadpool: Spoiler alert. Ha ha! Ah, planets.
Domino: [whispers to herself]Next time Uber.
Cable: Here's a spoiler alert. You're not a fucking hero. You're just an annoying clown dressed up as a sex toy.
Deadpool: Well, I got news for you, my heart is in the right place. Russell's not gonna kill anyone. Because of me, he's gonna know what real love is.
Cable: Because of you, I'll always know what a grown man with baby balls looks like.
Deadpool: I'm a grower, not a shower.
Domino: I should've finished college.
Cable: Yeah, something like that.
Deadpool: I was a soldier. Special Forces. I bet fifty years from now we'll be bestest buddies.
Cable: Fifty years from now you'll be very dead. Your entire generation will fuck this planet into a coma.
Deadpool: Boom! [makes exploding sound]
Deadpool: Spoiler alert. Ha ha! Ah, planets.
Domino: [whispers to herself]Next time Uber.
Cable: Here's a spoiler alert. You're not a fucking hero. You're just an annoying clown dressed up as a sex toy.
Deadpool: Well, I got news for you, my heart is in the right place. Russell's not gonna kill anyone. Because of me, he's gonna know what real love is.
Cable: Because of you, I'll always know what a grown man with baby balls looks like.
Deadpool: I'm a grower, not a shower.
Domino: I should've finished college.
Movie: Deadpool 2
Deadpool: Fuck it. Superhero landing comin' up. [jumps out of building and lands on knees]
Deadpool: Ooh! Ah, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. That is *so* not practical.
Deadpool: Ooh! Ah, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. That is *so* not practical.
Movie: Deadpool 2
Firefist: [trying to get the collar off of Deadpool's neck]We need a code.
Domino: Try, uh... seven?
Deadpool: Settle down, Captain Lucky, it's not gonna be one number. [Firefist presses the number 7 and unlocks the collar]
Deadpool: God, that's lazy writing.
Domino: Try, uh... seven?
Deadpool: Settle down, Captain Lucky, it's not gonna be one number. [Firefist presses the number 7 and unlocks the collar]
Deadpool: God, that's lazy writing.
Movie: Deadpool 2
Cable: There's nothing I can't kill.
Deadpool: Well, as Scoutmaster Kevin used to say... There's a first time for everything,son. Give me your best shot, One-Eyed Willy. [cuts down one bullet then gets riddled by more bullets]
Deadpool: Those bullets were, like, super fast.
Deadpool: Well, as Scoutmaster Kevin used to say... There's a first time for everything,son. Give me your best shot, One-Eyed Willy. [cuts down one bullet then gets riddled by more bullets]
Deadpool: Those bullets were, like, super fast.
Movie: Deadpool 2
Deadpool: Good news and bad news. Bad news is the whole team is dead. The good news is I don't think anyone is gonna miss Shatterstar, he was a bit of a prick.
Movie: Deadpool 2
Negasonic Teenage Warhead: We're X-Men.
Deadpool: No, you're X-People.
Negasonic Teenage Warhead: You're X-hausting.
Deadpool: I see what you did there. Puns.
Deadpool: No, you're X-People.
Negasonic Teenage Warhead: You're X-hausting.
Deadpool: I see what you did there. Puns.
Movie: Deadpool 2
Firefist: What do you say we go fuck some shit up?
Juggernaut: Let's Fuck Some Shit Up is my legal middle name.
Juggernaut: Let's Fuck Some Shit Up is my legal middle name.
Movie: Deadpool 2
Wade Wilson: Is it just me or does Do You Wanna Build a Snowman from Frozen sound suspiciously like Papa, Can You Hear Me? from Yentl. [singing]
Wade Wilson: Papa, can you hear me? [normal voice]
Wade Wilson: And nobody fucking realizes it.
Wade Wilson: Papa, can you hear me? [normal voice]
Wade Wilson: And nobody fucking realizes it.
Movie: Deadpool 2
Tenors,
Basses: [singing]You can't stop him / Ah-ah-ah-ah / You can't stop this / Motherfucker!
Sopranos,
Altos: [singing]Holy... shitballs... / Holy... shitballs... / Holy... shitballs... / Holy... shitballs... / Holy... shitballs... / Holy... shitballs...
Basses: [singing]You can't stop him / Ah-ah-ah-ah / You can't stop this / Motherfucker!
Sopranos,
Altos: [singing]Holy... shitballs... / Holy... shitballs... / Holy... shitballs... / Holy... shitballs... / Holy... shitballs... / Holy... shitballs...
Movie: Deadpool 2
Dopinder: You're my Tom Cruise!
Deadpool: And you're my Kristen Dunst! [to himself]
Deadpool: Kristen? Kirsten?
Deadpool: And you're my Kristen Dunst! [to himself]
Deadpool: Kristen? Kirsten?
Movie: Deadpool 2
[talking about Deadpool 2] Wade Wilson: It lives up to the hype, *plus plus.*
Weasel: Fuck it. They probably won't even make a 3.
Wade Wilson: Yeah, why would they? Stop at 2, ya killed it! [they both laugh]
Weasel: Fuck it. They probably won't even make a 3.
Wade Wilson: Yeah, why would they? Stop at 2, ya killed it! [they both laugh]
Movie: Deadpool 2
Deadpool: And that's why Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants is pure pornography.
Dopinder: Wow!
Domino: I really should have stayed in college...
Dopinder: Wow!
Domino: I really should have stayed in college...
Movie: Deadpool 2
[after Wade's legs were torn off, they're growing back and look like toddler legs. Weasel walks in on him sitting on the couch with no pants on next to Blind Al] Weasel: Why wouldn't you cover that up?
Wade Wilson: A warrior has nothing to be ashamed of.
Weasel: Yeah, but you do. I mean, look at you, you're just straight shirt-cocking it? Toddler style?
Wade Wilson: Oh yeah. Full Winnie the Pooh.
Blind Al: The hell's happening? Describe it.
Wade Wilson: I wouldn't ask him to do that if I were you.
Weasel: It's like, um...
Wade Wilson: Here we go.
Weasel: It's like he was giving birth anally but they quit halfway through. They got the legs out and said You know what? I'm done.
Wade Wilson: [to Blind Al]Happy?
Weasel: It's like he's a Muppet from the waist down, but this time, you can see the Muppet's dick. Grover's got a cock the size of a... [Dopinder comes in]
Dopinder: AH! Oh, no, no, no, DP, not again.
Weasel: This has happened before? [Dopinder starts gagging]
Weasel: Jesus, either vomit or don't. The indecision is killing me.
Blind Al: Why couldn't God take my hearing?
Wade Wilson: A warrior has nothing to be ashamed of.
Weasel: Yeah, but you do. I mean, look at you, you're just straight shirt-cocking it? Toddler style?
Wade Wilson: Oh yeah. Full Winnie the Pooh.
Blind Al: The hell's happening? Describe it.
Wade Wilson: I wouldn't ask him to do that if I were you.
Weasel: It's like, um...
Wade Wilson: Here we go.
Weasel: It's like he was giving birth anally but they quit halfway through. They got the legs out and said You know what? I'm done.
Wade Wilson: [to Blind Al]Happy?
Weasel: It's like he's a Muppet from the waist down, but this time, you can see the Muppet's dick. Grover's got a cock the size of a... [Dopinder comes in]
Dopinder: AH! Oh, no, no, no, DP, not again.
Weasel: This has happened before? [Dopinder starts gagging]
Weasel: Jesus, either vomit or don't. The indecision is killing me.
Blind Al: Why couldn't God take my hearing?
Movie: Deadpool 2
Dopinder: I want to fill my soul. I want to belong to something, like you, Pool sir.
Deadpool: Dopinder, you never cease to surprise me. You know, the depth of your heart is extraordinary. We all need a sense of belonging. We all need a genuine sense of home, a place...
Dopinder: I want to become a contract killer.
Deadpool: I'm sorry, what did you say?
Dopinder: Remember when I kidnapped Bandhu and threatened him with great violence?
Deadpool: Yeah, you kinda killed him.
Dopinder: And remember the movie Interview with the Vampire?
Deadpool: Don't want to.
Dopinder: When Tom Cruise fed 10-year-old Kirsten Dunst blood for the first time. And she looked up at his smooth, handsome face and said I want some more. Oh, Pool, picture me, a 10-year-old Kirsten Dunst.
Deadpool: ...I'll never *not* picture that. But I can't wait to never speak of this, as soon as possible.
Deadpool: Dopinder, you never cease to surprise me. You know, the depth of your heart is extraordinary. We all need a sense of belonging. We all need a genuine sense of home, a place...
Dopinder: I want to become a contract killer.
Deadpool: I'm sorry, what did you say?
Dopinder: Remember when I kidnapped Bandhu and threatened him with great violence?
Deadpool: Yeah, you kinda killed him.
Dopinder: And remember the movie Interview with the Vampire?
Deadpool: Don't want to.
Dopinder: When Tom Cruise fed 10-year-old Kirsten Dunst blood for the first time. And she looked up at his smooth, handsome face and said I want some more. Oh, Pool, picture me, a 10-year-old Kirsten Dunst.
Deadpool: ...I'll never *not* picture that. But I can't wait to never speak of this, as soon as possible.
Movie: Deadpool 2
Wade Wilson: Isn't that how it always works? Like in Star Wars, men are destined to become their father? And have consensual sex with their sister?
Vanessa: I think you missed big, big chunks of that movie.
Wade Wilson: No, I'm pretty sure Luke nailed her.
Vanessa: Baby, that's Empire.
Vanessa: I think you missed big, big chunks of that movie.
Wade Wilson: No, I'm pretty sure Luke nailed her.
Vanessa: Baby, that's Empire.
Movie: Deadpool 2
Deadpool: As a former X-Man...
Bedlam: Trainee.
Deadpool: Thank you, Bedlam. I was always appalled by the blatant sexism in the group's name. X-Men? *Men*? The point is, our group will be forward-thinking. Gender neutral. From now on, we'll be known as... X-Force.
Domino: Isn't that a little derivative?
Deadpool: I don't recall asking your opinion, Peter.
Peter: ...That wasn't me.
Bedlam: Trainee.
Deadpool: Thank you, Bedlam. I was always appalled by the blatant sexism in the group's name. X-Men? *Men*? The point is, our group will be forward-thinking. Gender neutral. From now on, we'll be known as... X-Force.
Domino: Isn't that a little derivative?
Deadpool: I don't recall asking your opinion, Peter.
Peter: ...That wasn't me.
Movie: Deadpool 2
Blind Al: Sweetheart, can you speak up? It's a little hard to hear you with that pity-dick in your mouth.
Movie: Deadpool 2
[In Wade's dream] Vanessa: Kiss me like you miss me, Red.
Wade Wilson: Well, come here. [They share a long, passionate kiss]
Wade Wilson: Don't fuck Elvis.
Vanessa: Don't fuck Colossus.
Wade Wilson: Wait, what? [Wade gets pulled back to the real world]
Wade Wilson: Well, come here. [They share a long, passionate kiss]
Wade Wilson: Don't fuck Elvis.
Vanessa: Don't fuck Colossus.
Wade Wilson: Wait, what? [Wade gets pulled back to the real world]
Movie: Deadpool 2
Buck: According to the K³bler-Ross model, denial is just one of the five stages of grief.
Wade Wilson: Jesus Christ, Buck. No more speaking lines for you.
Wade Wilson: Jesus Christ, Buck. No more speaking lines for you.
Movie: Deadpool 2
Deadpool: Oh shit, that fucking does it! [pulls out guns]
Deadpool: Put your hands behind your knees and get down on your head now!
Deadpool: Put your hands behind your knees and get down on your head now!
Movie: Deadpool 2
Cable: The name's Cable! From the future. Just walk away.
Wade Wilson: Oh? So you're from the future? I have three questions, then. One: is dubstep still a thing? Two: which Sharknado are we on? And three: at what point will the audience say enough with the robotic arms?
Wade Wilson: Oh? So you're from the future? I have three questions, then. One: is dubstep still a thing? Two: which Sharknado are we on? And three: at what point will the audience say enough with the robotic arms?
Movie: Deadpool 2
Colossus: We have rules. You are not judge, jury or executioner.
Deadpool: Fuck your rules! I fight for what's right, and sometimes you gotta fight dirty.
Deadpool: Fuck your rules! I fight for what's right, and sometimes you gotta fight dirty.
Movie: Deadpool 2
Deadpool: What do you get when you take 8-feet of chrome, one pinch of courage, a cup of good luck, a dab of racism, a splash of diabetes, and a wheelbarrow of stage 4 cancer? Answer: A family. See? I didn't lie what kind of film this was. If there's anything you take away today - other than the need to google what the fuck is dubstep - it's that we all need to belong to someone.
Movie: Deadpool 2
Wade Wilson: George Michael was right. I'm never gonna dance again. Fuck! He's dead, too. At least we still have Bowie.
Weasel: Yeah, we still... [looks over at Dopinder, he nods and winks at him]
Weasel: ... have Bowie.
Weasel: Yeah, we still... [looks over at Dopinder, he nods and winks at him]
Weasel: ... have Bowie.
Movie: Deadpool 2
[from trailer] Deadpool: [dizzy from a big action sequence]Tell me they got that in slow-motion...
Movie: Deadpool 2
Colossus: [charging at Juggernaut]Pick on someone your own size!
Deadpool: That's such a you thing to say. Go get 'em, tiger! Big CGI fight comin' up!
Deadpool: That's such a you thing to say. Go get 'em, tiger! Big CGI fight comin' up!
Movie: Deadpool 2
Deadpool: He's teamed up with the Juggernaut. The Juggernaut! That's, like, my favorite Marvel character ever, but you should never meet your heroes, because honestly, he's a bit of a dick! And like a lot of dicks, he's as hard as a rock, and causes nothing but problems!
Movie: Deadpool 2
[Deadpool / Wade Wilson says his goodbyes to all those around him, and while dying] Wade Wilson: I hope the Academy is watching.
Movie: Deadpool 2
Deadpool: Four or five moments. That's all it takes to be a hero. People think you wake up a hero, brush your teeth a hero, ejaculate into a soap dispenser a hero. But now, being a hero, it's only a few moments. Few moments doing the ugly stuff no one else will do.
Movie: Deadpool 2
Firefist: [in their cell]Tomorrow, we find the biggest guy in here... and we'll make him our bi... [hears loud noise]
Firefist: What was that?
Wade Wilson: That is the biggest guy in here. Fun fact about the Ice Box, no one's ever seen it, they keep a monster in the basement. Right next to a [looks at the camera]
Wade Wilson: huge, steaming ball of foreshadowing.
Firefist: What was that?
Wade Wilson: That is the biggest guy in here. Fun fact about the Ice Box, no one's ever seen it, they keep a monster in the basement. Right next to a [looks at the camera]
Wade Wilson: huge, steaming ball of foreshadowing.
Movie: Deadpool 2