Dark Shadows Quotes

Barnabas Collins: I didn't say she was dead, I said I killed her.

Movie: Dark Shadows
Barnabas Collins: You went to her, and tried to warn her about me! You betrayed me, Wille!

Movie: Dark Shadows
Barnabas Collins: At last darkness has come. Goodbye, Maggie Evans. I might have loved you, I might have spared you, but now you must die.

Movie: Dark Shadows
David Collins: I wonder why Willie went in the secret room? Maybe there's something in there he doesn't want anyone to see-maybe someting... horrible!

Movie: Dark Shadows
David Collins: The man in this portrait seems as though he's angry at someone. But Barnabas, my cousin that I met at the old house: he seems more sad than angry. He seems as though he was remembering something that he'd lost a long time ago. Maybe that's when I thought he was a ghost. He seemed as though he was haunting the rooms instead of just walking through them.

Movie: Dark Shadows
Victoria Winters: My name is Victoria Winters. My journey is beginning. A journey that I hope will open the doors of life to me and link my past with my future. A journey that will bring me to a strange and dark place, to the edge of the sea high atop Widows' Hill - a house called Collinwood. A world I've never known, with people I've never met. People who tonight are still only shadows in my mind, but who will soon fill the days and nights of my tomorrows.

Movie: Dark Shadows
Angelique Bouchard: I'm going to make an offer to you, Barnabas. My last. You can join me by my side and we can run Collinsport together as partners, and lovers... or I'll put you back in the box.
Barnabas Collins: I have already prepared my counter-proposal. It reads thusly: You may strategically place your wonderful lips upon my posterior and kiss it repeatedly!

Movie: Dark Shadows
Carolyn Stoddard: [sees Barnabas for the first time]Are you stoned or something?
Barnabas Collins: They tried stoning me, my dear. It did not work. [to Willie]
Barnabas Collins: When did they start allowing women of the night on the estate grounds?

Movie: Dark Shadows
Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: What do you think of the President?
Victoria Winters: Never met him.
Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: What do you think of the war?
Victoria Winters: I don't watch television.
Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: Do you think the sexes should be equal?
Victoria Winters: Heavens, no. Men would become quite unmanageable.
Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: I think we're going to get along fine.

Movie: Dark Shadows
Angelique Bouchard: [wanting Barnabas to love her]What if I made you?
Barnabas Collins: With what, a spell? A little doll with pins? That is not love!
Angelique Bouchard: With THIS! [starts to strip]
Barnabas Collins: Oh.
Angelique Bouchard: With the body you once begged me for!
Barnabas Collins: I must admit, those have not aged a day...

Movie: Dark Shadows
Carolyn Stoddard: I don't feel comfortable discussing this with you.
Barnabas Collins: Do not fear, my child. I simply seek advice on the art of courting a woman of this time... Land. And who better to tutor me than a woman of your age? What is your age, if I may?
Carolyn Stoddard: Fifteen.
Barnabas Collins: Fifteen and no husband. You must put those birthing hips to good use at once lest your womb shrivel up and die.
Carolyn Stoddard: You're weird.
Barnabas Collins: But do you think me too weird for a woman of this... land?
Carolyn Stoddard: You obviously mean Vicky.
Barnabas Collins: She has the most fertile birthing hips I have ever laid eyes upon.
Carolyn Stoddard: You're way too weird.
Barnabas Collins: Do you really think so?
Carolyn Stoddard: You're all stiff, proper and old-fashioned.
Barnabas Collins: And Victoria... Is she not proper?
Carolyn Stoddard: She likes to pretend she's rock 'n' roll. She's a Carpenters kind of chick for sure.
Barnabas Collins: Do you mean to say that she has a penchant for woodworkers?
Carolyn Stoddard: The Carpenters are musicians, stupid.
Barnabas Collins: Ah, music. Yes, I'm rather fond of the music of the day. I am a picker, I am a grinner / I am a lover and I am a sinner / I play my music in the sun If only Shakespeare had been as eloquent.
Carolyn Stoddard: Okay. If you wanna get with her, you're gonna have to change your approach. Drop the whole weird Swinging London thing and hang out with a few normal people.

Movie: Dark Shadows
Barnabas Collins: Josette...
Victoria Winters: My name is Victoria Winters. Please, call me Vicky.
Barnabas Collins: Enchanted. But I shall call you Victoria, a name so wonderful to me that I could not stand to lose a single syllable of it.

Movie: Dark Shadows
Carolyn Stoddard: [about the planned ball]I have to hand it to you. This is a happening. I guess the only thing missing is Alice Cooper.
Barnabas Collins: Perhaps you should go and acquaint yourself with the evening's entertainment. [At the ball, he sees who Alice Cooper really is]
Barnabas Collins: ...ugliest woman I've ever seen.

Movie: Dark Shadows
Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: What did you do to my daughter?
Angelique Bouchard: The family tree needed a little spicing up, so I sent a werewolf to bite her as a child. [sees David]
Angelique Bouchard: Just as I sent David's mother to the bottom of the ocean, rendering him a motherless whelp! [turns to Barnabas]
Angelique Bouchard: And as for you... I killed your parents, and every one of your lovers. They kept us apart.

Movie: Dark Shadows
Barnabas Collins: [seeing TV for the first time]What sorcery is this? [attacks the TV]
Barnabas Collins: Reveal yourself, tiny songstress!

Movie: Dark Shadows
Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: Children, get away from that man!
David Collins: He said his name was Barnabas Collins.
Carolyn Stoddard: And I'm pretty sure he called me a hooker.

Movie: Dark Shadows
Barnabas Collins: [holds a fork]I see you have been driven to even sell the prized family silverware.
Roger Collins: How can you tell? Those are exact replicas.
Barnabas Collins: Had this been silver, I would have burst into flame at the slightest touch.
Dr. Julia Hoffman: Is he for real?

Movie: Dark Shadows
David Collins: Carolyn touches herself. She makes noises like a kitten.
Carolyn Stoddard: [to David]You little shit!

Movie: Dark Shadows
[last lines]Barnabas Collins: [narrates]It is said that blood is thicker than water. It is what joins us, binds us... curses us. My name is Barnabas Collins, and my curse has finally been broken.

Movie: Dark Shadows
Barnabas Collins: Here are my terms: Goest thou to hell, and swiftly please, and there may Azmodaeus himself suckle from your diseased teat!

Movie: Dark Shadows
Barnabas Collins: I've spoken of my feelings to not a soul.
Victoria Winters: Yeah, you spoke only of my birthing hips.
Barnabas Collins: [awkward]Yes...

Movie: Dark Shadows
Dr. Julia Hoffman: Please forgive me! You're a good man! You're a gentleman! Please, please...
Barnabas Collins: Madam, I am neither good nor gentle! And I do not forgive! [bites her]

Movie: Dark Shadows
[fighting]Angelique Bouchard: I worshipped you!
Barnabas Collins: You plagued me!
Angelique Bouchard: I adore you!
Barnabas Collins: I despise you!

Movie: Dark Shadows
[Barnabas stares at a lava lamp]Barnabas Collins: What is that thing?
Dr. Julia Hoffman: It's a lamp.
Barnabas Collins: It looks like a pulsating blood urn!

Movie: Dark Shadows
Barnabas Collins: [enters Dr Hoffman's laboratory]We must intensify our efforts! I have an urgent need to be human again! [stops short as he sees Julia injecting herself with blood]
Dr. Julia Hoffman: I can explain...
Barnabas Collins: My God! You're not using your blood to make me human. You're using my blood to make yourself immortal!
Dr. Julia Hoffman: Barnabas, you have a gift. You better get a hold over yourself...
Barnabas Collins: The Collins family took you in and bestowed their sacred trust upon you, and you brazenly betray that trust?
Dr. Julia Hoffman: I'm sorry. I just didn't want to grow old. I want to be beautiful, and I want to live forever like you.
Barnabas Collins: I am afraid that is out of the question!

Movie: Dark Shadows
David Collins: That's enough. Leave us alone.
Angelique Bouchard: I think I'll start by killing you, orphan! [advances on David]
Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: David, run!
Barnabas Collins: [to Angelique]Your quarrel is with me!
Angelique Bouchard: My quarrel is with ALL of you!

Movie: Dark Shadows
Barnabas Collins: Tell me, what do you know of Barnabas Collins?
Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: Just legends, really. Two centuries ago, a witch turned him into a vampire and locked him away.
Barnabas Collins: What is known of his death?
Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: Nothing.
Barnabas Collins: That, madam, is because he never died. I am Barnabas Collins. [reveals a secret passage]
Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: Then, you...
Barnabas Collins: I am a vampire, madam. But I am also a Collins, and I swear by all I hold sacred I will not harm anyone under this roof.

Movie: Dark Shadows
David Collins: [opening the coffin in which Barnabas has been chained]Uncle Barnabas, why do you have ladies' underwear on your head?
Barnabas Collins: Never mind that...

Movie: Dark Shadows
Carolyn Stoddard: Leave us alone!
Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: Carolyn? Carolyn, my God!
Carolyn Stoddard: I'm a werewolf, okay? Let's not make a big deal out of it.

Movie: Dark Shadows
Angelique Bouchard: If I can't have you, my love, I'll destroy you!

Movie: Dark Shadows