Carnage Quotes

Dorothy: [upon being served a plate of chicken]What's that? What did you do?
Jeff: Mum, please.
Dorothy: Where's the rest of her? Who did this?
Jeff: Nobody did anything.
Dorothy: Did you kill her?
Jeff: Mum, I didn't kill it.
Dorothy: It? She had a mother and a father, Jeff.
Jeff: It's free range.
Dorothy: What does that mean?
Jeff: It means it was free range. It was a happy chicken running around a massive field with other happy chickens. It had a good life.
Dorothy: Why do you keep saying it? I haven't seen any fields with birds wandering around. Where are they, Jeff? Where?
Jeff: Mum, I'm really hungry.
Dorothy: Well, have a cracker!

Movie: Carnage
Maude Polikoff: [on Freddy Jayashankar]He was beautiful, but he was also pure. He was like a monk. He was like a monk you could fuck.

Movie: Carnage
Joseph: Why would anyone eat a baby? Just a little baby. A little baby lamb.

Movie: Carnage
Graham Watkins: [walking into a shop]Oh my God, look how depressing this is. Look at this, the first thing I see: a lentil.

Movie: Carnage
Alan Cowan: [to Penelope]I saw your friend Jane Fonda on TV the other day. Made me want to run out and buy a Ku Klux Klan poster.

Movie: Carnage
Alan Cowan: Keep on stroking your own ego. It's beautiful.

Movie: Carnage
Nancy Cowan: [reaching for the scotch bottle]Let's get out of here, Alan. These people are monsters.
Alan Cowan: Stop it, Nancy.
Nancy Cowan: No, no, no. I want to drink some more. I- I wanna get drunk off my ass! This- this bitch throws my bag against the ceiling, nobody lifts a finger. I wanna be blind drunk.
Alan Cowan: You're drunk enough.
Nancy Cowan: How can you let her call our son a criminal? We come over here to work things out with them and they, they insult us, they browbeat us, they lecture us about being good citizens of the world! I am glad our son kicked the shit out of your son and I wipe my ass with your human rights!
Michael Longstreet: Wow! Get a couple of drinks in her and BAM!, her true self comes out.

Movie: Carnage
Alan Cowan: Penelope, I believe in the god of carnage. The god whose rule's been unchallenged since time immemorial.

Movie: Carnage
Nancy Cowan: At least our kid isn't a little wimpy-ass faggot!
Penelope Longstreet: Yours is a FUCKING SNITCH!

Movie: Carnage
Michael Longstreet: What happened to your sense of humor?
Penelope Longstreet: I don't have a sense of humor and I don't want one!

Movie: Carnage
Alan Cowan: Morally you're supposed to overcome your impulses, but there are times you don't want to overcome them.

Movie: Carnage
[last lines]Nancy Cowan: Here! Here's what I think of your stupid tulips! Your hideous flowers! This is the worst day of my life too.

Movie: Carnage
Penelope Longstreet: My husband has spent the entire afternoon DRYING THINGS!

Movie: Carnage
Nancy Cowan: I've got a John Wayne idea of manhood, too. What is it he had? A Colt .45. Something that empties a room. Any man that doesn't have those loner vibes just doesn't come off as having any substance.

Movie: Carnage
Penelope Longstreet: [to Alan]Don't you tell me about Africa. I know all about suffering in Africa!

Movie: Carnage
Michael Longstreet: You're so wonderful. You're the best and the brightest!

Movie: Carnage
Alan Cowan: Nancy, it's absurd to drink in your condition.
Nancy Cowan: What condition?

Movie: Carnage
Alan Cowan: Mrs. Longstreet, our son is a maniac!

Movie: Carnage
Nancy Cowan: Look at him all hunched over like he was left on the side of the road.

Movie: Carnage
Penelope Longstreet: I guess Zachary hasn't acquired any accountability skills...

Movie: Carnage
Alan Cowan: Did you schedule a contingency for litigation?

Movie: Carnage