Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quotes
Anya: You feel really responsible? You are really responsible!
Willow: I know I hurt you... and everyone... and I'm sorry.
Anya: Here's something you should know about vengeance demons. We don't groove with the sorry. We prefer, "Oh, God! Please stop hitting me with my own rib bones!"
Willow: Go on. Say whatever you want, rib bones and so forth. I deserve it.
Anya: And you won't mind?
Willow: No.
Anya[pouts slightly]: Well then, that's no fun.
Willow: I know I hurt you... and everyone... and I'm sorry.
Anya: Here's something you should know about vengeance demons. We don't groove with the sorry. We prefer, "Oh, God! Please stop hitting me with my own rib bones!"
Willow: Go on. Say whatever you want, rib bones and so forth. I deserve it.
Anya: And you won't mind?
Willow: No.
Anya[pouts slightly]: Well then, that's no fun.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Spike: Red's a bad girl.
Buffy: He's talking about Willow.
Xander: And that means something 'cause he's chock full of sanity.
Buffy: He's talking about Willow.
Xander: And that means something 'cause he's chock full of sanity.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Spike: William's a good boy. Carries her water, carries her sin. Supposed to get easier, isn't it. Supposed to help to help, but it doesn't. Still so heavy.
Xander: We should've put a leash on him.
Buffy: Yes, let's tie ourselves to the crazy vampire.
Xander: We should've put a leash on him.
Buffy: Yes, let's tie ourselves to the crazy vampire.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy: It's pretty easy. Spike follows the exiting smell of blood and we follow the fairly ripe smell of Spike.
Dawn: It's smellementary. Also I'm sure there's tunes like this, you know procedures we can use that don't involve magic spells, just good solid detective work. And we can develope a data base of tooth impresions and demon skin samples and I could wear high heels more often.
Buffy: Wow, that was so close to being empowered.
Dawn: Everybody loves a slender ankle.
Dawn: It's smellementary. Also I'm sure there's tunes like this, you know procedures we can use that don't involve magic spells, just good solid detective work. And we can develope a data base of tooth impresions and demon skin samples and I could wear high heels more often.
Buffy: Wow, that was so close to being empowered.
Dawn: Everybody loves a slender ankle.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Xander: Figuring out how to control your magic seems a lot like hammering a nail. At the end of the hammer, you have the power, but no control. It takes, like, two strokes to hit the nail in, or you could hit your thumb.
Willow: Ouch.
Xander: So you choke up. Control, but no power. It could take like ten strokes to knock the nail in. Power, control. It's a trade off.
Willow: That's actually not a bad analogy. Except, I'm less worried about hitting my thumb, and more worried about going all black-eyed baddy and bewitching that hammer into cracking my friends' skulls open like coconuts.
Xander: Right. Ouch.
Willow: Ouch.
Xander: So you choke up. Control, but no power. It could take like ten strokes to knock the nail in. Power, control. It's a trade off.
Willow: That's actually not a bad analogy. Except, I'm less worried about hitting my thumb, and more worried about going all black-eyed baddy and bewitching that hammer into cracking my friends' skulls open like coconuts.
Xander: Right. Ouch.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy: I need to fix this. I don't usually get a heads up before somebody dies.
Robin: What do you mean usually?
Robin: What do you mean usually?
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Willow: Have you Googled her yet?
Xander: Willow! She's 17!
Willow: It's a search engine.
Xander: Willow! She's 17!
Willow: It's a search engine.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy: Buffy the Vampire Slayer would break down this door.
Xander: And Buffy the counselor?
Buffy: Waits.
Xander: And Buffy the counselor?
Buffy: Waits.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Cassie: You think I want this? You think I don't care? [cries] Believe me, I want to... be here, do things. I want to graduate from high school, and I want to go to the stupid winter formal... I have this friend, and it would be fun to go with him. Just to dance and hear lame music to wear a silly dress and laugh and stuff... I'd like to go. There's a lot of stuff I'd like to do. I'd love to ice skate at Rockefeller Center. And I'd love to see my cousins grow up and see how they turn out 'cause they're really mean and I think they're gonna be fat. I'd love to backpack across the country or, I don't know, fall in love, but I won't. I just never will.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy: Spike, this basement is killing you. This is the Hellmouth. There is something bad down here, possibly everything bad.
Spike[laughs]: Can't hear you. Can't hear you.
Buffy: You have a soul? Fine. Show me.
Spike: Scream "Montresor" all you like, pet.
Buffy: Get up and get out of this basement.
Spike: I don't have anywhere else to go.
Spike[laughs]: Can't hear you. Can't hear you.
Buffy: You have a soul? Fine. Show me.
Spike: Scream "Montresor" all you like, pet.
Buffy: Get up and get out of this basement.
Spike: I don't have anywhere else to go.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Anya: I uh, I don't talk to people much. I mean, I talk to them, but they don't talk to me. Except to say that "your questions are irksome," or "perhaps you should take your furs and your literal interpretations to the other side of the river."
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
[Buffy, Xander and Willow argue about whether to kill the re-demonized Anya.]
Xander: You think we haven't seen all this before? The part where you just cut us all out. Just step away from everything human and act like you're the law. If you knew what I felt -
Buffy: I killed Angel!! Do you even remember that?! I would have given up everything I had to be with... I loved him more than I will ever love anything in this life! And I put a sword through his heart because I had to.
Willow: And that all worked out OK.
Buffy: Do you remember cheering me on? Both of you! Do you remember giving me Willow's message? "Kick his ass."
Willow[shocked]: I never said that!
Xander: This is different.
Buffy: It is always different! It's always complicated. And at some point, someone has to draw the line and that is always going to be me! You get down on me for cutting myself off but in the end, the Slayer is always cut off. There's no mystical guidebook, no all-knowing council. Human rules don't apply. There's only me. I am the law.
Xander: There has to be another way.
Buffy: Then please find it.
[Xander walks out the front door. Buffy turns to Willow, silently asking her help to dispatch Anya.]
Willow: I can't. I'm sorry. [Buffy grabs a sword and heads outside]
Xander: You think we haven't seen all this before? The part where you just cut us all out. Just step away from everything human and act like you're the law. If you knew what I felt -
Buffy: I killed Angel!! Do you even remember that?! I would have given up everything I had to be with... I loved him more than I will ever love anything in this life! And I put a sword through his heart because I had to.
Willow: And that all worked out OK.
Buffy: Do you remember cheering me on? Both of you! Do you remember giving me Willow's message? "Kick his ass."
Willow[shocked]: I never said that!
Xander: This is different.
Buffy: It is always different! It's always complicated. And at some point, someone has to draw the line and that is always going to be me! You get down on me for cutting myself off but in the end, the Slayer is always cut off. There's no mystical guidebook, no all-knowing council. Human rules don't apply. There's only me. I am the law.
Xander: There has to be another way.
Buffy: Then please find it.
[Xander walks out the front door. Buffy turns to Willow, silently asking her help to dispatch Anya.]
Willow: I can't. I'm sorry. [Buffy grabs a sword and heads outside]
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Xander: You don't understand. This isn't an intervention. Buffy's coming to kill you.
Anya: She's coming to try.
Xander[exasperated]: Did everybody have their Crazy Flakes today? You guys are friends! How could you talk like this?
Anya: I have a job to do. And so does Buffy. Xander, you've always seen what you wanted to but you knew, sooner or later, it would come to this.
Anya: She's coming to try.
Xander[exasperated]: Did everybody have their Crazy Flakes today? You guys are friends! How could you talk like this?
Anya: I have a job to do. And so does Buffy. Xander, you've always seen what you wanted to but you knew, sooner or later, it would come to this.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
D'Hoffryn: [surveying the fraternity boys Anya killed] Oh, breathtaking! It's like somebody slaughtered an Abercrombie and Fitch catalog.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy: So, do you have plans later or are you just going to go down to the docks, wait for the fleet to come in?
Dawn: [shocked] What?
Buffy: [furious] Where do I start with the bad? First, you told me you were going to the library. Second, you do not go out on a date without informing me first. Third... Anna Nicole Smith thinks you look tacky!
Dawn: [shocked] What?
Buffy: [furious] Where do I start with the bad? First, you told me you were going to the library. Second, you do not go out on a date without informing me first. Third... Anna Nicole Smith thinks you look tacky!
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
[Xander finds Buffy straddling R.J. in the counseling office.]
R.J.: Hey guy, it's called knocking.
Xander: I'm sorry, it's just checkout time was an hour ago. We were hoping to make up the bed. And also, it's a classroom, you chowderhead! [to Buffy] Now get off the boy, Buffy, we're going home.
R.J.: Hey guy, it's called knocking.
Xander: I'm sorry, it's just checkout time was an hour ago. We were hoping to make up the bed. And also, it's a classroom, you chowderhead! [to Buffy] Now get off the boy, Buffy, we're going home.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Willow: Damn love spell! I have tried every anti-love spell spell I can find.
Anya: Even if you found the right one, guy would probably just do an anti-anti-love-spell spell... spell.
Willow: What?
Anya: Even if you found the right one, guy would probably just do an anti-anti-love-spell spell... spell.
Willow: What?
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
[The women are threatening one another with what they're each going to do to win R.J.'s love]
Buffy: Willow, you're a gay woman! [Willow makes a face conveying "And?"] And he... isn't?!
Willow: This isn't about his physical presence! It's about his heart.
Anya: His physical presence has a penis!
Willow: I can work around it!
Buffy: Willow, you're a gay woman! [Willow makes a face conveying "And?"] And he... isn't?!
Willow: This isn't about his physical presence! It's about his heart.
Anya: His physical presence has a penis!
Willow: I can work around it!
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
[The Scoobies are burning R.J.'s enchanted jacket in Buffy's fireplace.]
Buffy: Xander, be honest. You didn't, you know, think about slipping that jacket on a little bit?
Xander: I refuse to answer that on the grounds that it didn't fit.
Buffy: Xander, be honest. You didn't, you know, think about slipping that jacket on a little bit?
Xander: I refuse to answer that on the grounds that it didn't fit.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Jonathan: Wish I'd have stayed in Mexico.
Andrew: Ah, I didn't like it there. Everyone spoke Mexicoan.
Jonathan: You could've learned it. You learned the entire Klingon dictionary in two and a half weeks.
Andrew: That had much clearer transitive and intransitive rules, okay? Besides, I can't keep having those nightmares.
Jonathan: Me neither. Desde abajo te devora.
Andrew: "It eats you, starting with your bottom."
Jonathan: Gonna make it right.
Andrew: We're outlaws with hearts of gold.
Andrew: Ah, I didn't like it there. Everyone spoke Mexicoan.
Jonathan: You could've learned it. You learned the entire Klingon dictionary in two and a half weeks.
Andrew: That had much clearer transitive and intransitive rules, okay? Besides, I can't keep having those nightmares.
Jonathan: Me neither. Desde abajo te devora.
Andrew: "It eats you, starting with your bottom."
Jonathan: Gonna make it right.
Andrew: We're outlaws with hearts of gold.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Holden Webster: Whoa. Did my face just change?
Buffy: Yeah. You look human now. You can do that. Go back and forth.
Holden: Oh, so I'm a vampire. [laughs] How weird is that?
Buffy: Sorry.
Holden: No, no. Feels great. Strong. Like I'm connected to a powerful all consuming evil that's gonna suck the world into a fiery oblivion. How about you?
Buffy: Not so much connected.
Holden: No, no. I mean, with the stake? And the cross? You do this kind of thing a lot?
Buffy: I'm The Slayer. It's sort of a thing.
Holden: So, what? You like fight vampires professionally?
Buffy: Oh, I don't get paid. It's more like a Calling. Since... even in school.
Holden: I heard a lot of rumors about you back then. You were all mysterious.
Buffy: I was?
Holden: Well, you were never around. A lot of kids thought you were dating some really old guy, or that you were just heavy religious. Scott Hope said you were gay.
Buffy: What? I dated that ringworm!
Holden: He says that about every girl he breaks up with. Then, last year, big surprise... he comes out.
Buffy: Yeah. You look human now. You can do that. Go back and forth.
Holden: Oh, so I'm a vampire. [laughs] How weird is that?
Buffy: Sorry.
Holden: No, no. Feels great. Strong. Like I'm connected to a powerful all consuming evil that's gonna suck the world into a fiery oblivion. How about you?
Buffy: Not so much connected.
Holden: No, no. I mean, with the stake? And the cross? You do this kind of thing a lot?
Buffy: I'm The Slayer. It's sort of a thing.
Holden: So, what? You like fight vampires professionally?
Buffy: Oh, I don't get paid. It's more like a Calling. Since... even in school.
Holden: I heard a lot of rumors about you back then. You were all mysterious.
Buffy: I was?
Holden: Well, you were never around. A lot of kids thought you were dating some really old guy, or that you were just heavy religious. Scott Hope said you were gay.
Buffy: What? I dated that ringworm!
Holden: He says that about every girl he breaks up with. Then, last year, big surprise... he comes out.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Holden: Oh, I have so much to learn. Come on, isn't this insane? I mean, I was afraid to talk to you in high school, and now we're, like, mortal enemies. Hey, wouldn't it be cool if we became nemeses?
Buffy: Is that how you say the word?
Holden: We're gonna have to fight to the death, aren't we?
Buffy: It's the time-honored custom.
Holden: Wow, reality just shows up sometimes, doesn't it? But, you know, I've got the bloodlust pumping, and I kinda get it. I'm looking for a fight. And, oh, it's nothing personal.
Buffy: Oh, no, I mean, you've been great.
...
Holden: Hey, I don't mean to be Count Buttinsky here, but you just don't seem as thrilled. Is it because we're gonna fight?
Buffy: It's because I'm gonna win.
Holden: Hello! Two years of Tae Kwon Do and vampire strength. I think somebody's counting their chickens.
Buffy: You're not leaving this graveyard. Can't let you.
...
Buffy: If you knew what I've done, what I've let myself become. My best friends don't even know. You'd laugh if you heard some of the things I've done to them.
Holden: Buffy, I'm here to kill you, not to judge you.
Buffy: Is that how you say the word?
Holden: We're gonna have to fight to the death, aren't we?
Buffy: It's the time-honored custom.
Holden: Wow, reality just shows up sometimes, doesn't it? But, you know, I've got the bloodlust pumping, and I kinda get it. I'm looking for a fight. And, oh, it's nothing personal.
Buffy: Oh, no, I mean, you've been great.
...
Holden: Hey, I don't mean to be Count Buttinsky here, but you just don't seem as thrilled. Is it because we're gonna fight?
Buffy: It's because I'm gonna win.
Holden: Hello! Two years of Tae Kwon Do and vampire strength. I think somebody's counting their chickens.
Buffy: You're not leaving this graveyard. Can't let you.
...
Buffy: If you knew what I've done, what I've let myself become. My best friends don't even know. You'd laugh if you heard some of the things I've done to them.
Holden: Buffy, I'm here to kill you, not to judge you.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Holden: Oh my God!
Buffy: Oh, your God what?
Holden: Oh, well, not my God. Because I defy him and all of his works. Does he exist? Is there word on that by the way?
Buffy: Nothing solid.
Buffy: Oh, your God what?
Holden: Oh, well, not my God. Because I defy him and all of his works. Does he exist? Is there word on that by the way?
Buffy: Nothing solid.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
The First (as Cassie): [after trying to trick Willow into believing Tara wants her to kill herself] I can see it now. Candlelight, the Indigo Girls playing, picture of your dead girlfriend on your bloody lap... [mocking] Oh, baby, you left such a big hole. It hurt so bad! [serious] You don't know hurt. This last year's gonna seem like cake after what I put you and your friends through, and I am not a fan of easy death. Fact is, the whole good versus evil, balancing the scales thing? I'm over it. I'm done with the mortal coil. But believe me, I'm going for a big finish.
Willow: "From beneath you, it devours."
The First (as Cassie): Oh, not "it"... ME.
Willow: "From beneath you, it devours."
The First (as Cassie): Oh, not "it"... ME.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Xander: Why would a vampire lie about who sired him? What's that? Some kind of status symbol for the undead? My sire can beat up your sire.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Anya: You know you were a lot more fun when you didn't have a soul.
Spike: Oh, come on now, I've just explained to you...
Anya: All I'm saying is soulless Spike would have had me upside down and half-way to happyland by now.
Spike: Oh, come on now, I've just explained to you...
Anya: All I'm saying is soulless Spike would have had me upside down and half-way to happyland by now.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Spike: Well, I certainly didn't off her. Where are you getting this? You know I can't.
Buffy: Right. The chip.
Spike: No, not the chip! Not the chip, dammit. You honestly think I'd go to the end of the underworld and back to get my soul and then— Buffy, I can barely live with what I did. It haunts me. All of it. If you think that I would add to the body count now, you are crazy.
Buffy: Right. The chip.
Spike: No, not the chip! Not the chip, dammit. You honestly think I'd go to the end of the underworld and back to get my soul and then— Buffy, I can barely live with what I did. It haunts me. All of it. If you think that I would add to the body count now, you are crazy.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Spike: [to Buffy] As daft a notion as "Soulful Spike the Killer" is, it is nothing compared to the idea that another girl could mean anything to me. This chip—they did to me. I couldn't help it. But the soul, I got on my own—for you.
Buffy: I know.
Spike: So, yeah. I go and pass the time... with someone. But that's all it is is time, 'cause—God, help me, Buffy—it's still all about you.
Buffy: I know.
Spike: So, yeah. I go and pass the time... with someone. But that's all it is is time, 'cause—God, help me, Buffy—it's still all about you.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Willow: I am Willow. I am Death. If you dare defy me, I will call down my fury, exact fresh vengeance, and make your worst fears come true! OK?
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer