Andy Barker, P.I. Quotes

Andy Barker: Well, if they're coming tonight, let's be ready for 'em.
Wally: I'll be there for you, Andy. The enemy of my friend is my enemy, my friend.
Simon: Oh-hohoho a reverse stakeout! We'll probably be here all night. [suddenly serious]
Simon: I don't want any cracks about my retainer.

Movie: Andy Barker, P.I.
Andy Barker: Eh, Lew what are you doing here?
Lew Staziak: I realized I couldn't let you alone with this one. She'd fill your head with lies and your pants with hands.
Rita Spaulding: Still got two of those.

Movie: Andy Barker, P.I.
Andy Barker: [getting an error on the internet because a website has expired] Oh cheese and crackers!

Movie: Andy Barker, P.I.
Lew Staziak: Blond one did it. Probably a Samoan. Those peach eatin' bastards will steal anything you ain't stuffed down your pants.

Movie: Andy Barker, P.I.
Lew Staziak: I'm looking for a hot number named Dolores Freeman. Tell her Lew's here.
Federal Office employee: You can tell her yourself if you got a ouija board. [points to pictures of deceased employees on the wall]

Movie: Andy Barker, P.I.
Simon: Thanks for letting me come.
Andy Barker: You were hiding in the back seat of my car.
Simon: I'm just saying I appreciate it.

Movie: Andy Barker, P.I.