3 Men and a Baby Quotes

Michael Kellam: [Peter is reading the review of a boxing match to Mary] Peter! You can't read that to her!
Peter Mitchell: It doesn't matter what I read, it's the tone of voice I use. She doesn't understand the words anyway now where were we?

Movie: 3 Men and a Baby
Michael Kellam: Where the hell have you been? This baby hasn't stopped crying! And she did a doodle.
Peter Mitchell: A doodle? What's that...? Oh, forget it. I don't want to know.
Michael Kellam: Well you're gonna know, Pal, 'cause she did it.

Movie: 3 Men and a Baby
Peter Mitchell: How old is the baby?
Michael Kellam: I dunno, you want me to check her driver's license?

Movie: 3 Men and a Baby
Peter: Oh, this is disgusting. It's all over and it's... It's sticky and... We're going to need some kind of cleaning fluid to get this off.
Michael Kellam: How about after shave?

Movie: 3 Men and a Baby
Peter: Feel her teeth.
Michael Kellam: What?
Peter: The druggist said you can tell how old she is by feeling her teeth.
Michael Kellam: I'm not gonna feel her teeth, YOU feel her teeth! [Peter wets and cleans his finger, then sticks it in Mary's mouth]
Peter: I can't feel anything.
Michael Kellam: What does that mean?
Peter: It means she doesn't have any damn teeth!
Michael Kellam: Well, neither did Gabby Hayes and he was 90, so what?

Movie: 3 Men and a Baby
[Michael and Peter are changing Mary's diaper]
Michael Kellam: Peter, this is a girl. Should we be doing this?

Movie: 3 Men and a Baby