UHF Quotes

Crazy Ernie: If nobody comes down here and buys a car in the next hour, I'm gonna club this baby seal. That's right! I'm gonna club this seal to make a better deal. You know I'll do it, too, cause I'm crazy.

Movie: UHF
Kuni: [jumps out from behind a door marked Supplies] Supplies!

Movie: UHF
Little Old Lady: Excuse me... aren't you R.J. Fletcher?
R.J. Fletcher: So what if I am? [she knees him in the groin, he collapses in pain]

Movie: UHF
Stanley Spadowski: These floors are dirty as hell, and I'm not gonna take it any more.

Movie: UHF
[as in The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948)]
Raul Hernandez: Badgers? Badgers? We don't need no stinking badgers.

Movie: UHF
[In the TV show Conan the Librarian]
Timid Man: Can you tell me where I can find a book on astronomy? [Conan the Librarian lifts the man up with his bare hands]
Conan the Librarian: [imitating Arnold Schwarzenegger] Don't you know the Dewey Decimal System?

Movie: UHF