Three's Company Quotes

Detective Lannigan: I wasn't trying to encourage sex. I was trying to stop sex.
Helen Roper: That's even worse.

TV Show: Three's Company
Jack Tripper: [Mr. Furley is standing outside the bathroom and eavesdropping while Jack and Chrissy are installing a shower curtain] Okay, Chrissy, I'll get in the tub with you, then we can get it on.
Chrissy: Get next to me, I'll show you what to do.
Jack Tripper: This isn't exactly the first time I've ever done this.
Chrissy: Maybe so, but girls are better at this than boys.
Jack Tripper: Come on, Chrissy. A little less talk and a little more action, okay?
Chrissy: Okay, you do your part and I'll do mine. I don't think it'll reach!
Jack Tripper: Of course not, you've got to unfold it first!

TV Show: Three's Company
Janet Wood Dawson: Oh, no, no, no, no. Don't tell anybody you're a chef, okay?
Jack Tripper: Okay, mum's the word.
Janet Wood Dawson: Well, it's not that there's anything wrong with what you do, Jack. It's just that... everybody here looks so important and we want to make a good impression. Well, you understand, don't you?
Jack Tripper: *Of course*, pumpkin.
Janet Wood Dawson: Oh, thanks.
Jack Tripper: You're ashamed of me!

TV Show: Three's Company
Ralph Furley: This is a respectable building. NO ROMAN ORGIES!

TV Show: Three's Company
Stanley Roper: Helen, I just wanted to prove to you that other woman found me attractive. And I proved it.
Mrs. Roper: Well, fine, go to her. See if I care. I hope you're happy.
Stanley Roper: I don't want to be happy; I want to be with you.

TV Show: Three's Company
Stanley Roper: What's the cake for?
Helen Roper: We're celebrating.
Stanley Roper: Celebrating what?
Helen Roper: The tenth anniversary of my spring outfit.

TV Show: Three's Company