This Is the End Quotes

Jonah Hill: [trying to comprehend the previous night]Something, um, not-that-chill happened last night.

Movie: This Is the End
Seth Rogen: Let's do all the drugs!
Jay Baruchel: I don't really want to. [starts to drink water]
Seth Rogen: You should of thought of that before you drank a can full of Ecstasy.
Jay Baruchel: [spits water out]What?

Movie: This Is the End
Seth Rogen: [Pretending to be Gandalf/Ian McKellen]I'm a well-known homosexual advocate!

Movie: This Is the End
David Krumholtz: Jay! I can't hold on much longer. You have to reach out and grab me, you hear?
Jay Baruchel: Okay, uh, you take my hand and I'll swing you up!
David Krumholtz: You sure? I'm going to give you my whole weight.
Jay Baruchel: I'm gonna reach for you alright?
David Krumholtz: Are you sure you can do it?
Jay Baruchel: I can grab you. On three. One, two, three! [They grab hands]
David Krumholtz: I'm gonna swing across!
Jay Baruchel: I got you buddy.
David Krumholtz: You're going to hold my weight, all of it.
Jay Baruchel: Okay! Come on!
David Krumholtz: You can hold on to my full weight?
Jay Baruchel: I can do it!
David Krumholtz: I don't want to die.
Jay Baruchel: One, two, three! [Jay lets go and David falls to his death]

Movie: This Is the End
Craig Robinson: [crying]I tried to save Aziz, I did!

Movie: This Is the End
Craig Robinson: Ain't no party, like a no panty party, cause a no panty party don't stop!

Movie: This Is the End
[from trailer] Michael Cera: [after a broken light post pierces through his chest]Is it bad?

Movie: This Is the End
Craig Robinson: Take yo panties off!

Movie: This Is the End
Seth Rogen: Jesus fucking Christ.
Craig Robinson: You might wanna stay away from saying that.
Seth Rogen: Jesus fucking Christ? Why? Why can't I say that?
Craig Robinson: One of the ten commandments. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.
Seth Rogen: Jesus isn't the name of the Lord. God is the name of the Lord.
Craig Robinson: Jesus and God is all the same.
Jay Baruchel: It's a trinity.
Craig Robinson: The Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost.
James Franco: It's like Neapolitan ice cream.

Movie: This Is the End
Craig Robinson: Hey! Hey, asshole! Hey, come on! Pickle dick, demonic-looking motherfucker. Nobody's scared of you. You ain't a raccoon. Yeah, bring your ass, bitch. Nobody's scared of you. I'm Craig fucking Robinson! Yeah! I hope you like big dick, motherfucker, 'cause, I'm about to fuck you raw. For the last goddamn time! Take your panties off!

Movie: This Is the End
Aziz Ansari: Craig, help me!
Craig Robinson: It's too late for you! You're already in the hole!

Movie: This Is the End
Craig Robinson: I would suck a dick for half a cracker!

Movie: This Is the End
Jonah Hill: This is no dream! This is really happening!

Movie: This Is the End
Emma Watson: [Holding an axe]Back the fuck up!

Movie: This Is the End
Danny McBride: He's talking about the rape-y vibes.

Movie: This Is the End
James Franco: No more jerking off, no more water, just sit the fuck down!

Movie: This Is the End
Danny McBride: I call him Channing Taint-YUM!

Movie: This Is the End
Jonah Hill: [possessed]You will drown in a river of blood. The end of days is here. You will quiver in the shadow of kingdom come. Judgment Day is upon you. The Apocalypse is NIGH!

Movie: This Is the End
Michael Cera: Is it bad?

Movie: This Is the End
[after James taunts Danny, the rapture beams disappears; James falls back down on the ground to the evil amazement of the cannibals and the disappointment of Seth and Jay] Seth Rogen: Oh, shit.
Jay Baruchel: Shit!
James Franco: [horrified]What happened? What did I do? Take me back! What did I DO?
Danny McBride: I'll tell you what happened, Franco. You don't get to get sucked up into Heaven 'cause you were being petty. Tom Petty. [the cannibals gang up on the now-doomed James]
Danny McBride: You may not have invited me to your party, but you're the guest of honor at mine.
James Franco: [last word]What? [Danny takes a huge bite into James' nose, with Channing joining in; James screams in horrible pain as Seth and Jay can do nothing but watch in sheer horror and disgust]
Danny McBride: [screaming; a crazed Danny holds up James' ripped-off nose]HOW FUCKING CRAZY IS THIS? [Danny shrieks as the cannibals gang up and fatally eat James up to his death]
Danny McBride: Seth! JAY! [Three cannibals give chase to Set and Jay, presumably to finish the job and keep them completely fed]
Jay Baruchel: Oh, shit, they're running after us!
Seth Rogen: Oh, shit. Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Run!
Danny McBride: BRING THEM TO ME!

Movie: This Is the End
Christopher Mintz-Plasse: I never fuckin' done cocaine, dude.

Movie: This Is the End
Michael Cera: [after everyone at James Franco's party runs outside and sees that the Hollywood Hills are engulfed in flames]Wait, wait, wait! Everybody listen up! Listen up! Who took my fucking cell phone man? Martin empty your pockets!
Martin Starr: What?
Michael Cera: I saw you in the bathroom, man! Somebody dial my phone! Shut the fuck up! Unbelievable! It's unacceptable after all the coke I've wasted on you people!
Seth Rogen: No one took your fucking cell phone...
Michael Cera: [the ground begins to crack under Michael's feet]Three! Two! One! Zero!
Seth Rogen: [a light pole begins to fall towards Michael]Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Michael! Michael! Michael! [the light pole crashes through Michael's chest]

Movie: This Is the End
James Franco: Dude look helicopters, helicopter, the good guys are here. We're fine, we're gonna be fine [Helicopter crashes and propeller flies through window and sticks into wall next to Craig]
Craig Robinson: [Screaming and jumping]Goddamn, Goddamn
James Franco: You okay?
Craig Robinson: No I'm not okay. [Shows finger with small scratch and blood]
Craig Robinson: Fuck yo house Franco
James Franco: My house didn't do that

Movie: This Is the End
[the guys are debating whether or not to let a stranger into the house] James Franco: [whispering]I know it sounds really weird, but... I don't think we should let him in.
Jay Baruchel: Why not?
Headless Man: Yeah, why not? I can hear you, by the way.
James Franco: I'm sorry, we just don't know you, man. You could be, like, a looter or a, a rapist or a tittyfucker, like... [Seth grabs his chest protectively]
James Franco: ... I'm sorry. Look, guys, we just boarded up this whole house to keep everyone out, and the first guy who comes to the door, we're gonna let him in? I mean, how do we know we can trust this guy?
Headless Man: I want to live! Things have gone crazy out here!
Danny McBride: Agagaga-fuckin'-crazy-out-here! This guy fuckin' sucks.
James Franco: What if he's the rapist?
Jonah Hill: Man, even if he is a rapist, he can't rape all of us.
Headless Man: [panicking]Yeah, no, I'm not a rapist!
Seth Rogen: You gonna tittyfuck us?
Headless Man: [almost in tears]If you want me to tittyfuck you, I will, so good, oh, you'll love it!
Jay Baruchel: Seth, back me up, please, we can't just leave him out there to die, are you crazy?
James Franco: [to Seth]What do you wanna do? I'll do whatever you wanna do.
Seth Rogen: Uh, let's vote on it!
Headless Man: Yeah, I fuckin' vote you let me in!
Danny McBride: Here's my vote: fuck all of you, I'm letting him in. This is boring. [the guys all shout and rush to stop him; something growls outside]
Headless Man: There's something out here! [the thing outside suddenly chops the man's head off, and the severed head bounces into the room, coming to a stop at Danny's feet]
Danny McBride: [in shock]This is real! This is fuc

Movie: This Is the End
Danny McBride: Franco, you're just a pretentious fucking nerd.
James Franco: Fuck you!
Danny McBride: And Jonah... you fucking cunt. Craig... you didn't have my back back there. You fucking disappoint me.
Craig Robinson: Bro...
Danny McBride: And Seth... you duplicitous taint.
Seth Rogen: What?
Danny McBride: And of course there's Jay... the self-righteous, cocksucking, two-faced backstabber.
Jay Baruchel: What the fuck are you talking about?

Movie: This Is the End
Craig Robinson: Dude, Segel's dead, Krumholtz is dead, Michael Cera's dead...
Danny McBride: I guess if Michael Cera's dead it's not a total loss, huh?

Movie: This Is the End
Jonah Hill: [as Woody Harrelson]I have to do what's right, weed is for the people, it's the peoples weed.

Movie: This Is the End
Seth Rogen: Danny, no! Don't walk away! Danny, don't walk away from me!
Danny McBride: [continuing to walk away]It's too late, Seth! I've already walked away too much!
Seth Rogen: No, you haven't. You could still come back and just fucking turn around and come back and help me.

Movie: This Is the End
Emma Watson: Look at him, he's like a hipster. Right?
Jay Baruchel: No. No, I'm not a hipster. At all.
Craig Robinson: Yeah, you do seem to hate a lot of things and the bottom of your pants are awful tight.
Jay Baruchel: No, I just... I don't like Los Angeles. That's it. It doesn't make me a hipster.
Craig Robinson: I bet you hate movies that are universally loved.
Jay Baruchel: I don't even...
Craig Robinson: You like Forrest Gump?
Jay Baruchel: No, no, it's a horrendous piece of shit...
Emma Watson: Life is like a box of chocolates? No?
Jay Baruchel: No, I'm familiar with it.
Craig Robinson: You never know what you're gonna get.

Movie: This Is the End
Jay Baruchel: There were people and they were there and they got... sucked up into the sky.
James Franco: Sucked up into the sky. Nobody got sucked up in here.
Michael Cera: I got sucked off here.

Movie: This Is the End