The Monster Quotes
Insp. Craig: Perhaps there are some things in this world that science has not yet found out about.
Movie: The Monster
Lt. Dick Craig: This swamp is a monument to death. Snakes, alligators, quicksand... all bent on one thing: destruction.
Movie: The Monster
Milton the Monster: Over my dead body, Professor.
Professor Weirdo: That's the most intelligent suggestion you've ever made.
Professor Weirdo: That's the most intelligent suggestion you've ever made.
Movie: The Monster
Patrick: You're not a virgin are you?
Patrick's Sister: [shakes her head]
Patrick: No? What do you mean No?
Patrick's Sister: Well, Steve... but he doesn't count.
Patrick: DOESN'T COUNT?
Patrick's Sister: [shakes her head]
Patrick: No? What do you mean No?
Patrick's Sister: Well, Steve... but he doesn't count.
Patrick: DOESN'T COUNT?
Movie: The Monster
Prof. Arthur Flanders: Dave, if it is a meteorite, the chances are it's been hurtling around our universe for a good many centuries. The answer to your question lies buried in those centuries. We'll just have to dig for it.
Movie: The Monster
Sean: Rudy find some silver bullets.
Rudy: Where the hell am I suppose to find silver bullets?
Sean: I don't know. Fat kid get a map, find Shadowbrook Road.
Horace: What do I look in the index for "big scary mansion?"
Rudy: Where the hell am I suppose to find silver bullets?
Sean: I don't know. Fat kid get a map, find Shadowbrook Road.
Horace: What do I look in the index for "big scary mansion?"
Movie: The Monster
Sean: Rudy find some silver bullets.
Rudy: Where the hell am I suppose to find silver bullets?
Sean: I don't know. Fat kid get a map, find Shadowbrook Road.
Horace: What do I look in the index for big scary mansion?
Rudy: Where the hell am I suppose to find silver bullets?
Sean: I don't know. Fat kid get a map, find Shadowbrook Road.
Horace: What do I look in the index for big scary mansion?
Movie: The Monster
Shaggy: [talking to Scooby] Like, whoever heard such a ridiculous story? A 10-foot hairy monster with big feet and sharp teeth? Sounds like something out of a cartoon!
Movie: The Monster
Sheriff Jeff: *What* did you hit him with?
Chase Winstead: My brand new, 100% completed hot rod.
Sheriff Jeff: You'd have had to start in the next county to get up enough momentum to do that to him.
Chase Winstead: Not with 4 quarts of nitro glycerin riding with me.
Mr. Wheeler: You drove across that rough field carrying nitro?
Chase Winstead: Yes sir!
Sheriff Jeff: Do you realize what could have happened?
Chase Winstead: It did. I lost my car!
Sheriff Jeff: Don't worry about that, the railroad will be *glad* to buy you a new one.
Chase Winstead: My brand new, 100% completed hot rod.
Sheriff Jeff: You'd have had to start in the next county to get up enough momentum to do that to him.
Chase Winstead: Not with 4 quarts of nitro glycerin riding with me.
Mr. Wheeler: You drove across that rough field carrying nitro?
Chase Winstead: Yes sir!
Sheriff Jeff: Do you realize what could have happened?
Chase Winstead: It did. I lost my car!
Sheriff Jeff: Don't worry about that, the railroad will be *glad* to buy you a new one.
Movie: The Monster
Sofia Otero: [speaking to some kids] Now, forget all about this scary monster nonsense and play with your skeletons among the tombstones.
Movie: The Monster
Steve Martin: [asking Officer Iwanaga]
Steve Martin: What is the name of this monster?
Old Man on Hill on Oto Island: Godzilla...
Security Officer Tomo Iwanaga: You hear that? Godzilla.
Steve Martin: So, they believe that this Godzilla is responsible for all the ship disasters?
Security Officer Tomo Iwanaga: They're certain of it!
Steve Martin: What is the name of this monster?
Old Man on Hill on Oto Island: Godzilla...
Security Officer Tomo Iwanaga: You hear that? Godzilla.
Steve Martin: So, they believe that this Godzilla is responsible for all the ship disasters?
Security Officer Tomo Iwanaga: They're certain of it!
Movie: The Monster
Steve Martin: [asking Officer Iwanaga]
Steve Martin: What is the name of this monster?
Old Man on Hill on Oto Island: Godzilla...
Security Officer Tomo Iwanaga: You hear that? Godzilla.
Steve Martin: So, they believe that this Godzilla is responsible for all the ship disasters?
Security Officer Tomo Iwanaga: They're certain of it!
Steve Martin: What is the name of this monster?
Old Man on Hill on Oto Island: Godzilla...
Security Officer Tomo Iwanaga: You hear that? Godzilla.
Steve Martin: So, they believe that this Godzilla is responsible for all the ship disasters?
Security Officer Tomo Iwanaga: They're certain of it!
Movie: The Monster
Sylvia Lockwood: [Seeing a giant dragonfly at the window, she screams]
Professor Donald Blake: Don't open the door! It'll escape!
Sylvia Lockwood: Who cares?
Professor Donald Blake: I care! I want it!
Jimmy Flanders: Well, what is it?
Professor Donald Blake: I don't know! We'll find out when we catch it!
Professor Donald Blake: Don't open the door! It'll escape!
Sylvia Lockwood: Who cares?
Professor Donald Blake: I care! I want it!
Jimmy Flanders: Well, what is it?
Professor Donald Blake: I don't know! We'll find out when we catch it!
Movie: The Monster
Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: [into the microphone] Calling all police cars, or calling any kind of car. There's a big monkey here in the Gravesend mansion! Over! Over! Before I'm under!
Movie: The Monster
Title Card: The motion picture that follows is a fable. In it there are many nudists but only one monster. In life, it is generally the other way around.
Movie: The Monster
["Milton the Monster" title sequence]
Narrator: On top of old Horror Hill, in a secret laboratory, Professor Weirdo and Count Kook were in their monstrous glory.
Professor Weirdo: # Six drops of The Essence of Terror, / Five drops of Sinister Sauce. #
Count Kook: # When the stirring's done, may I lick the spoon? #
Professor Weirdo: # Of course! A-ha! Of course! / Now for the tincture of tenderness, / But I must use only a touch. / For without a touch of tenderness, / It might destroy me! #
[Kook accidentally knocks Weirdo's arm]
Professor Weirdo: # Oops! Too much! / Better hold your breath; / It's starting to tick! #
Count Kook: # Better hold my hand; / I'm feeling sick! #
[the monster arises]
Milton The Monster: Hello, Daddy!
Professor Weirdo: # What have I done? #
Milton The Monster: # I'm Milton, your brand new son! #
Narrator: On top of old Horror Hill, in a secret laboratory, Professor Weirdo and Count Kook were in their monstrous glory.
Professor Weirdo: # Six drops of The Essence of Terror, / Five drops of Sinister Sauce. #
Count Kook: # When the stirring's done, may I lick the spoon? #
Professor Weirdo: # Of course! A-ha! Of course! / Now for the tincture of tenderness, / But I must use only a touch. / For without a touch of tenderness, / It might destroy me! #
[Kook accidentally knocks Weirdo's arm]
Professor Weirdo: # Oops! Too much! / Better hold your breath; / It's starting to tick! #
Count Kook: # Better hold my hand; / I'm feeling sick! #
[the monster arises]
Milton The Monster: Hello, Daddy!
Professor Weirdo: # What have I done? #
Milton The Monster: # I'm Milton, your brand new son! #
Movie: The Monster
Sheriff Jeff: Have you heard the reports of a giant lizard?
Mr. Wheeler: Yes, but it's just not possible.
Sheriff Jeff: Well, why not? There have been giants before!
Mr. Wheeler: Yes, but it's just not possible.
Sheriff Jeff: Well, why not? There have been giants before!
Movie: The Monster
Sofia Otero: [speaking to some kids] Now, forget all about this scary monster nonsense and play with your skeletons among the tombstones.
Movie: The Monster
[first lines]
Narrator: From time immemorial the Earth has been bombarded by objects from outer space. Bits and pieces of the Universe piercing our atmosphere in an invasion that never ends. Meteor, the shooting stars on which so many earthly wishes have been born! Of the thousands that plummet toward us, the greater part are destroyed in a firey flash as they strike the layers of the air that encircle us. Only a small percentage survives. Most of those fall into the water which covers two-thirds of our world. But from time to time from the beginning of time a very few meteors have struck the crust of the Earth and formed craters - craters of all sizes sought after, poured over by scientists of all nations for the priceless knowledge buried within them. In every moment of every day they come from planets belonging to stars whose dying light is too far away to be seen. From infinity they come. Meteors! Another strange calling card from the limitless regions of space - its substance unknown, its secrets unexplored. The meteor lies dormant in the night - waiting!
Narrator: From time immemorial the Earth has been bombarded by objects from outer space. Bits and pieces of the Universe piercing our atmosphere in an invasion that never ends. Meteor, the shooting stars on which so many earthly wishes have been born! Of the thousands that plummet toward us, the greater part are destroyed in a firey flash as they strike the layers of the air that encircle us. Only a small percentage survives. Most of those fall into the water which covers two-thirds of our world. But from time to time from the beginning of time a very few meteors have struck the crust of the Earth and formed craters - craters of all sizes sought after, poured over by scientists of all nations for the priceless knowledge buried within them. In every moment of every day they come from planets belonging to stars whose dying light is too far away to be seen. From infinity they come. Meteors! Another strange calling card from the limitless regions of space - its substance unknown, its secrets unexplored. The meteor lies dormant in the night - waiting!
Movie: The Monster
[At the treehouse the squad does a team huddle with their hands. Pete, the dog, lifts its paw on top]
Rudy: How does that dog get up here anyway?
Rudy: How does that dog get up here anyway?
Movie: The Monster