The Grand Budapest Hotel Quotes
M. Gustave: I'm not angry with Serge; you can't blame someone for their basic lack of moral fiber. He's a frightened little yellow-bellied coward. It's not his fault, is it?
Zero: I don't know, it depends.
M. Gustave: Well, you can say that about most anything, it depends. Of course it depends.
Zero: Of course it depends, of course it depends.
M. Gustave: Yes, I suppose you're right; of course it depends. However, that doesn't mean I'm not going to throttle the little swamp rat.
Zero: I don't know, it depends.
M. Gustave: Well, you can say that about most anything, it depends. Of course it depends.
Zero: Of course it depends, of course it depends.
M. Gustave: Yes, I suppose you're right; of course it depends. However, that doesn't mean I'm not going to throttle the little swamp rat.
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
M. Gustave: [Upon seeing Ludwig's map of Checkpoint 19]Who drew this?
Ludwig: What do you mean, who drew this? I did.
M. Gustave: Very good; you've got a wonderful line, Ludwig! This shows great artistic promise.
Ludwig: What do you mean, who drew this? I did.
M. Gustave: Very good; you've got a wonderful line, Ludwig! This shows great artistic promise.
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
[Zero has just shown M. Gustave the newspaper article announcing Mme. Celine's death] M. Gustave: Dear God!
Zero: I'm terribly sorry, sir.
M. Gustave: We must go to her.
Zero: We must?
M. Gustave: Tout de suite. She needs me, and I need you, to help me with my bags and so on. [to a voice within his suite]
M. Gustave: Attendez-moi, darling. [to Zero]
M. Gustave: How fast can you pack?
Zero: Five minutes.
M. Gustave: Do it. And bring a bottle of the Pouilly-Jouvet '26, in an ice bucket, with two glasses, so we don't have to drink the cat piss they serve on the dining car.
Zero: I'm terribly sorry, sir.
M. Gustave: We must go to her.
Zero: We must?
M. Gustave: Tout de suite. She needs me, and I need you, to help me with my bags and so on. [to a voice within his suite]
M. Gustave: Attendez-moi, darling. [to Zero]
M. Gustave: How fast can you pack?
Zero: Five minutes.
M. Gustave: Do it. And bring a bottle of the Pouilly-Jouvet '26, in an ice bucket, with two glasses, so we don't have to drink the cat piss they serve on the dining car.
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
M. Gustave: How does one come by front row aisle seats for a first night at the Opera Toscana with one day's notice? How does one arrange a private viewing of the tapestry collection at the Royal Saxon Gallery? How does one secure a corner table at Chez Dominique on a Thursday? [to Ivan, on the telephone]
M. Gustave: Ivan, darling, it's Gustave, hello!... Well, I was until about five minutes ago. We've taken it upon ourselves to clear out in a hurry, if you see what I mean... Well, through a sewer, as it happens... Exactly! Listen, Ivan, I'm sorry to cut you off, but we're in a bit of a bind. This is an official request. I'm formally calling on the special services of... [Title card: THE SOCIETY OF THE CROSSED KEYS]
M. Gustave: Ivan, darling, it's Gustave, hello!... Well, I was until about five minutes ago. We've taken it upon ourselves to clear out in a hurry, if you see what I mean... Well, through a sewer, as it happens... Exactly! Listen, Ivan, I'm sorry to cut you off, but we're in a bit of a bind. This is an official request. I'm formally calling on the special services of... [Title card: THE SOCIETY OF THE CROSSED KEYS]
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
Serge X.: There's more.
M. Gustave: Okay...
Serge X.: To the story.
M. Gustave: I get it, go on.
Serge X.: I was the official witness in Madame D's presence to the creation of a second will to be executed only in the event of her death by murder.
M. Gustave: A second will?
Serge X.: Right.
M. Gustave: In case she got bumped off?
Serge X.: Right.
M. Gustave: Uh-huh...
Serge X.: But they destroyed it.
M. Gustave: Oh dear.
Serge X.: However...
M. Gustave: Uh-huh...
Serge X.: I pulled a copy.
M. Gustave: A second copy of the second will?
Serge X.: Right.
M. Gustave: Uh-huh...
M. Gustave: Okay...
Serge X.: To the story.
M. Gustave: I get it, go on.
Serge X.: I was the official witness in Madame D's presence to the creation of a second will to be executed only in the event of her death by murder.
M. Gustave: A second will?
Serge X.: Right.
M. Gustave: In case she got bumped off?
Serge X.: Right.
M. Gustave: Uh-huh...
Serge X.: But they destroyed it.
M. Gustave: Oh dear.
Serge X.: However...
M. Gustave: Uh-huh...
Serge X.: I pulled a copy.
M. Gustave: A second copy of the second will?
Serge X.: Right.
M. Gustave: Uh-huh...
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
Young Writer: [last lines]
Young Writer: A week later, I sailed for a cure in South America, and began a long, wandering journey abroad. I did not return to Europe for many years. It was an enchanting old ruin...
Author: But I never managed to see it again.
Young Writer: A week later, I sailed for a cure in South America, and began a long, wandering journey abroad. I did not return to Europe for many years. It was an enchanting old ruin...
Author: But I never managed to see it again.
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
M. Gustave: You can't arrest him just because he's a bloody immigrant, he hasn't done anything wrong!
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
Madame D.: Come with me.
M. Gustave: To... fucking Lutz?
Madame D.: Please!
M. Gustave: Give me your hand. You've nothing to fear. You're always anxious before you travel. I admit you appear to be suffering a more acute attack on this occasion, but truly and honestly... oh, dear God, what have you done to your fingernails?
Madame D.: I beg your pardon?
M. Gustave: This diabolical varnish; the color is completely wrong!
Madame D.: Oh really? Don't you like it?
M. Gustave: It's not that I don't like it; I am physically repulsed.
M. Gustave: To... fucking Lutz?
Madame D.: Please!
M. Gustave: Give me your hand. You've nothing to fear. You're always anxious before you travel. I admit you appear to be suffering a more acute attack on this occasion, but truly and honestly... oh, dear God, what have you done to your fingernails?
Madame D.: I beg your pardon?
M. Gustave: This diabolical varnish; the color is completely wrong!
Madame D.: Oh really? Don't you like it?
M. Gustave: It's not that I don't like it; I am physically repulsed.
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
M. Gustave: [Following Mme. Celine's death]All of Lutz will be dressed in black... except her own ghastly, deceitful children, whom she loathed and couldn't bear to kiss hello. They'll be dancing like gypsies.
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
Zero: [Reading a letter from M. Gustave]My dear and trusted colleagues...
M. Gustave: I miss you deeply as I write from the confines of my regrettable and preposterous incarceration. Until I walk amongst you again as a free man, the Grand Budapest remains in your hands, as does its impeccable reputation. Keep it spotless, and glorify it. Take extra-special care of every little bitty bit of it as if I were watching over you like a hawk with a horse-whip in its talons, because I am. Should I discover a lapse of any variety during my absence, I promise swift and merciless justice will descend upon you. A great and noble house has been placed under your protection. Tell Zero if you see any funny business.
Zero: [Finishing the letter]Your devoted Monsieur Gustave.
M. Gustave: I miss you deeply as I write from the confines of my regrettable and preposterous incarceration. Until I walk amongst you again as a free man, the Grand Budapest remains in your hands, as does its impeccable reputation. Keep it spotless, and glorify it. Take extra-special care of every little bitty bit of it as if I were watching over you like a hawk with a horse-whip in its talons, because I am. Should I discover a lapse of any variety during my absence, I promise swift and merciless justice will descend upon you. A great and noble house has been placed under your protection. Tell Zero if you see any funny business.
Zero: [Finishing the letter]Your devoted Monsieur Gustave.
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
M. Gustave: [interviewing will walking]Experience?
Zero: Hotel Kinsky, Kitchen Boy, 6 months. Hotel Berlitz, Mop and Broom Boy, 3 months. Before that I was a Skillet Scrubber.
M. Gustave: Experience, zero. [to various workers]
M. Gustave: Straighten that cap. Pleasure's all mine. These are not acceptable. [back to Zero]
M. Gustave: Education?
Zero: I studied reading *and* spelling. I started my primary school. I almost finished...
M. Gustave: Education, zero.Good morning Cicero. Call the plumber. Family?
Zero: [hesitates]Zero.
Zero: Hotel Kinsky, Kitchen Boy, 6 months. Hotel Berlitz, Mop and Broom Boy, 3 months. Before that I was a Skillet Scrubber.
M. Gustave: Experience, zero. [to various workers]
M. Gustave: Straighten that cap. Pleasure's all mine. These are not acceptable. [back to Zero]
M. Gustave: Education?
Zero: I studied reading *and* spelling. I started my primary school. I almost finished...
M. Gustave: Education, zero.Good morning Cicero. Call the plumber. Family?
Zero: [hesitates]Zero.
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
Mr. Moustafa: When the destiny of a great fortune is at stake, men's greed spreads like a poison in the bloodstream. Uncles, nephews, cousins, in-laws of increasingly tenuous connection. The old woman's distant relations had come foraging out of the woodwork.
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
M. Gustave: I was perhaps for a time considered the best lobby boy we ever had at the Grand Budapest. I think I can say that. This one finally surpassed me. Although I must say, I am an exceptional teacher.
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
M. Gustave: You're the first of the official death squads to whom we've been formally introduced. How do you do?
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
M. Gustave: Excuse me. Have you seen a pastry girl with a package under her arm in the last minute and a half?
Otto: Yep. She just got on the elevator with Mr. Desgoffe und Taxis.
M. Gustave: Thank you.
Zero: I'm sorry, who are you?
Otto: Otto, sir. The new lobby boy?
Zero: Well, you haven't been trained properly, Otto. A lobby boy never provides information of that kind. You're a stone wall. Understood?
Otto: Yep. She just got on the elevator with Mr. Desgoffe und Taxis.
M. Gustave: Thank you.
Zero: I'm sorry, who are you?
Otto: Otto, sir. The new lobby boy?
Zero: Well, you haven't been trained properly, Otto. A lobby boy never provides information of that kind. You're a stone wall. Understood?
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
Zero: Do you have an alibi?
M. Gustave: Of course, but she's married to the Duke of Westphalia. I can't allow her name to get mixed up in all this monkey business.
Zero: Monsieur Gustave, your life may be at stake.
M. Gustave: I know! The bitch legged it! She's already on board the Queen Nasstasja, halfway to Dutch Tanganyika.
M. Gustave: Of course, but she's married to the Duke of Westphalia. I can't allow her name to get mixed up in all this monkey business.
Zero: Monsieur Gustave, your life may be at stake.
M. Gustave: I know! The bitch legged it! She's already on board the Queen Nasstasja, halfway to Dutch Tanganyika.
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
Dmitri: You're not getting Boy with Apple, you goddamn little fruit!
M. Gustave: How's that supposed to make me feel?
M. Gustave: How's that supposed to make me feel?
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
M. Gustave: I give you my word, if you lay a finger on this man, I'll see you dishonorably discharged, locked up in the stockade, and hanged by sundown.
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
Dmitri: [Discovering Boy with Apple's disappearance]What's the meaning of this shit?
Laetizia: [Three sisters speak simultaneously]Boy with Apple? I thought you'd hidden it.
Marguerite: [Three sisters speak simultaneously]Why are you only noticing now?
Carolina: [Three sisters speak simultaneously]I assumed you took it. I assumed it went to the tax appraiser.
Dmitri: Are you fucking kidding me?
Laetizia: [Three sisters speak simultaneously]Boy with Apple? I thought you'd hidden it.
Marguerite: [Three sisters speak simultaneously]Why are you only noticing now?
Carolina: [Three sisters speak simultaneously]I assumed you took it. I assumed it went to the tax appraiser.
Dmitri: Are you fucking kidding me?
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
Agatha: [about M.Gustave and Zero]Whence came these two radiant celestial brothers, united for an instant, as they crossed the upper stratosphere of our starry window, one from the east, and one from the west.
M. Gustave: VERY good.
M. Gustave: VERY good.
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
M. Gustave: There's really no point in doing anything in life because it's all over in the blink of an eye, and the next thing you know, rigor mortis sets in.
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
M. Gustave: [pointing at an armful of flowers]These are NOT acceptable.
Hotel Employee: [bearing flowers]I fully agree.
Hotel Employee: [bearing flowers]I fully agree.
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
Mr. Moustafa: [Recounting his memories of M. Gustave at the Budapest Hotel]I began to realize that many of the hotel's most valued and distinguished guests came for him. It seemed to be an essential part of his duties... But I believe it was also his pleasure. The requirements were always the same. They had to be rich, old, insecure, vain, superficial, blonde, needy.
Young Writer: Why blonde?
Mr. Moustafa: Because they all were.
Young Writer: Why blonde?
Mr. Moustafa: Because they all were.
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
Mr. Moustafa: [Recounting his memories of M. Gustave at the Budapest Hotel]He was, by the way, the most liberally perfumed man I had ever encountered. The scent announced his approach from a great distance and lingered for many minutes after he was gone.
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
M. Gustave: Why are we stopping at a Barley Field? [Title Card: 19th October, The Closing of the Frontier]
M. Gustave: [the train comes to a stop, the Doors to the cabin room swing open, soldiers stand at the doorway]
M. Gustave: Well, Hello there, chaps.
Franz: Documents, please.
M. Gustave: With pleasure. [Hands the officer his papers]
M. Gustave: It's not a very flattering portrait, I'm afraid, I was once considered a great beauty. [Notices the soldier's name tag, it reads: Cpl F. M³ller.]
M. Gustave: What's the F. Stand for, Fritz? Franz?
Franz: Franz.
M. Gustave: [Cheerfully]I knew it! [Zero hands the soldier his papers]
M. Gustave: He's making a funny face.
M. Gustave: [to the soldier]That's a Migatory Visa with stage three worker status, Franz darling, he's with me.
Franz: [Hesitates, looks at Zero]Come outside, please.
M. Gustave: Now wait a minute, sit down, Zero. His papers are in order, I crossed referenced them myself with The Bureau of Labor and Servitude. You can't arrest him simply because he's a bloody immigrant, he hasn't done anything wrong! [a moment of disbelief, the soldier looks, then grabs Zero by the arm and rises him from his seat. A light struggle breaks out, Gustave, angered, yells at them]
M. Gustave: Stop it! Stop, damn you!
Zero: Never mind, Mousier Gustave! Let them proceed!
M. Gustave: Ow, that hurts! [Zero and Gustave are roughly shoved against the wall]
M. Gustave: You filthy, godamn, pock-marked, fascist assholes! Take your hands off my lobby boy! [a whistle blows, and the door to the wagon opens. Everyone stops moving. Inspector A.J. Henckels walks into the room, he stands at the doorway]
Henckels: What's the problem?
M. Gus
M. Gustave: [the train comes to a stop, the Doors to the cabin room swing open, soldiers stand at the doorway]
M. Gustave: Well, Hello there, chaps.
Franz: Documents, please.
M. Gustave: With pleasure. [Hands the officer his papers]
M. Gustave: It's not a very flattering portrait, I'm afraid, I was once considered a great beauty. [Notices the soldier's name tag, it reads: Cpl F. M³ller.]
M. Gustave: What's the F. Stand for, Fritz? Franz?
Franz: Franz.
M. Gustave: [Cheerfully]I knew it! [Zero hands the soldier his papers]
M. Gustave: He's making a funny face.
M. Gustave: [to the soldier]That's a Migatory Visa with stage three worker status, Franz darling, he's with me.
Franz: [Hesitates, looks at Zero]Come outside, please.
M. Gustave: Now wait a minute, sit down, Zero. His papers are in order, I crossed referenced them myself with The Bureau of Labor and Servitude. You can't arrest him simply because he's a bloody immigrant, he hasn't done anything wrong! [a moment of disbelief, the soldier looks, then grabs Zero by the arm and rises him from his seat. A light struggle breaks out, Gustave, angered, yells at them]
M. Gustave: Stop it! Stop, damn you!
Zero: Never mind, Mousier Gustave! Let them proceed!
M. Gustave: Ow, that hurts! [Zero and Gustave are roughly shoved against the wall]
M. Gustave: You filthy, godamn, pock-marked, fascist assholes! Take your hands off my lobby boy! [a whistle blows, and the door to the wagon opens. Everyone stops moving. Inspector A.J. Henckels walks into the room, he stands at the doorway]
Henckels: What's the problem?
M. Gus
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel