Shag Quotes

Basil: Did we get Dr. Evil?
Radar Operator: No, sir, he got away in that big spaceship that looks like a huge...
Teacher: Penis. The male reproductive organ. Also known as tallywhacker, schlong, or...
Friendly Dad: Wiener? Any of your kids want another wiener?
Friendly Son: Dad, what's that?
Friendly Dad: I don't know, son, but it has great big...
Peanut Vendor: Nuts. Hot, salty nuts. Who wants some?...
Peanut Vendor: Lord Almighty!
Woman: That looks just like my husband's...
Circus Barker: ONE-EYED MONSTER. Step right up and see the One-eyed Monster!
Cyclops: RARRR.
Cyclops: Hey, what's that? It looks like a...
Fan: Woody. Woody Harrelson. Could I have your autograph?
Woody: Sure. Oh, my Lord! Look at that thing!
Fan: It's so huge.
Woody: No, I've seen bigger. That's...
Dr. Evil: Just a little prick.

Movie: Shag
Carson: Y'all 'll be going off to college soon, and I hope you don't forget me. I know I shouldn't be jealous, but I am. [cries]
Malaina: She's wrecked her face.
Luanne: Carson, I swear, I swear on the Bible I will write you every week from college, and so will Pudge, and so will Malaina.
Malaina: I'm not going to college.

Movie: Shag
Fat Bastard: [after Felicity kicks Fat Bastard in the crotch] Owwww... Right in the mummy-daddy button.
Felicity Shagwell: That's for calling me crap you fatty!

Movie: Shag
Frau Farbissina: Send in the CLONE!

Movie: Shag
Luanne: Here, you'll wear my momma's hoop skirt.
Malaina: I know how to win this thing.
Luanne: Why Melaina! It is bad manners to think about winnin'!
Malaina: Look Luanne! I'm not goin' to college like some people. And I sure as hell ain't marryin' a damn Ralston. And I ain't gonna die in a parish house in Spartanburg, South Carolina, thank you. Luanne, I'm as pretty as any of those girls in Hollywood. This is my chance! Jimmy Valentine's gonna discover me today, and it ain't gonna be in your mama's hoop skirt!
Luanne: Would you at least consider wearing my one-piece bathin' suit?

Movie: Shag
[last lines]
Mustafa: Hello up there. Is the movie over? I'm still down here... and I'm still in quite a lot of pain. Maybe someone in the lobby could call an ambulance. Oh, the pain is really quite severe. I... I've fashioned a makeshift splint. Here goes nothing. Aaaa...

Movie: Shag