Remington Steele Quotes

Laura Holt: I can take care of myself. I have for a long time now.
Remington Steele: Yes, well that was before it made a difference to me.
Laura Holt: And now?
Remington Steele: Now, we're going to have some noodle soup. It comes out of those little foil packets these days. Then you're going to have the unprecedented honor of sleeping in my bed, uh, pajamas optional, while I keep company with the couch. But no matter how you slice it, you're stuck with me tonight, so I suggest you make the best of it.

TV Show: Remington Steele
Laura Holt: Now all we need is the third man.
Remington Steele: Well, if it isn't Orson Welles, I can't be of any immediate help.

TV Show: Remington Steele
Raymond Kessler: Who are you?
Remington Steele: Just a happy-go-lucky tourist out to see a bit of the world.
Leo Neff: That why you got five passports from five dif'rent countries in five dif'rent names?
Remington Steele: I keep trying for a good picture.

TV Show: Remington Steele
Remington Steele: Ah, before we go charging off I think you should know that Miss Vogleson is determined to unearth the truth about Remington Steele.
Laura Holt: Oh I knew that interview cover was a mistake.
Remington Steele: Yes, well don't worry Laura. Rather than embarrass and jeopardize you and the agency I'm prepared to do the honorable thing.
Murphy Michaels: You're gonna leave.
Remington Steele: I was thinking more along the lines of, uh, stealing her notes.

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Remington Steele: Zif climp blagh blagh blaghgh [looks at Laura]
Remington Steele: It's for you.

TV Show: Remington Steele
[Laura, Remington and Wilson come running out of the building, as the person they are chasing is driving away]
Wilson Jeffries: You think we can catch him?
Remington Steele: Well, if Laura drives. [the three of them all get in the car]

TV Show: Remington Steele
[Izzy is dying]
Izzy Webster: Toodle-loo.
Laura Holt: Toodle-loo?
Steele: That's what I call shuffling off with class.

TV Show: Remington Steele
[narration from the opening credits]
Laura Holt: Try this for a deep, dark secret: the great detective, Remington Steele? He doesn't exist. I invented him. Follow. I always loved excitement, so I studied, and apprenticed, and put my name on an office. But absolutely nobody knocked down my door. A female private investigator seemed so... feminine. So I invented a superior. A decidedly MASCULINE superior. Suddenly there were cases around the block. It was working like a charm... until the day HE walked in, with his blue eyes and mysterious past. And before I knew it, he assumed Remington Steele's identity. Now I do the work, and he takes the bows. It's a dangerous way to live, but as long as people buy it, I can get the job done. We never mix business with pleasure. Well, almost never. I don't even know his real name!

TV Show: Remington Steele

Remington Steele: [while drunk] I rather enjoyed being a Peppler. Shame about the divorce, they were so good together, those two.
Laura Holt: They are, aren't they?
Remington Steele: Yes...

TV Show: Remington Steele

Remington Steele: A killer caught by a lousy television show and a rotten commercial. There's some thing poetic about that.

TV Show: Remington Steele

Remington Steele: Atomic man is wanted for murder.
Remington Steele: Really, I didn't realize the penalty for bad acting was that stiff in this country.

TV Show: Remington Steele

Remington Steele: Irresponsibility isn't a sickness - it's an art.

TV Show: Remington Steele

Remington Steele: Zif climp blagh blagh blaghgh [looks at Laura]
Remington Steele: It's for you.

TV Show: Remington Steele

Laura Holt: [to Steele] I'm a Peppler, he's a Peppler, she's a Peppler, we're a Peppler, they're a Peppler, wouldn't you like to be a Peppler too?
Laura Holt: [Steele gives her a look] Come on! Where's your sense of humor?
Remington Steele: [referring to his colorful golf pants] I'm wearing it.

TV Show: Remington Steele

Laura Holt: Now all we need is the third man.
Remington Steele: Well, if it isn't Orson Welles, I can't be of any immediate help.

TV Show: Remington Steele

Laura Holt: What are you doing?
Remington Steele: I'll tell you what I'm *not* doing! I'm not driving in circles trying to elude people I don't know, who want to kill a nice little nebbish, for reasons I don't even understand. I'm also not about to sit in that car while Sheldon looks at me like I'm Babe Ruth and George Washington all rolled into... [into phone]
Remington Steele: ... yes, information? I'd like the number of the Central Intelligence Agency... No, that is not a residence.

TV Show: Remington Steele

Kessler: Who are you?
Remington Steele: Just a happy go lucky tourist out to see a bit of the world.
Neff: Is that why you've got five passports, from five different countries, in five different names?
Remington Steele: Kept trying for a good picture.

TV Show: Remington Steele