Noises Off... Quotes

Brooke: You can't even get the door open. [and, in fact, Gary can't]
Lloyd: [distant] Hold it.
Frederick: [entering with Belinda] Yes, but this is Mrs. Clackett's afternoon off.
Lloyd: [a little louder] Hold it!
Frederick: We've got the place entirely to ourselves.
Belinda: Look at it.
Lloyd: [Freddy tries to close the door but can't] HOLD IT! [they continue to try to open or close their respective doors]
Lloyd: And God said HOLD IT! [they stop]
Lloyd: And they held it. And God saw that it was TERRIBLE!
Gary: Sorry, folks. The door won't open.
Belinda: Sorry, folks, this door won't close.
Lloyd: And God said, "POPPY!"
Frederick: Sorry folks, am I doing something wrong? You know how stupid I am about doors.
Belinda: Freddy, darling, you're doing it perfectly.
Frederick: As long as it wasn't me that broke it.
Lloyd: [Poppy comes on stage] ... And there was Poppy. And God said, "Be fruitful and multiply, and fetch Tim to fix the doors."

Movie: Noises Off...
Dotty: Now I've lost the newspaper! [exits]
Lloyd: Sardines!
Gary: [to Brooke] I'm sorry about this.
Brooke: [to Gary] That's all right. We don't want the television, do we?
Lloyd: SARDINES!
Dotty: [re-entering] I forgot the sardines.

Movie: Noises Off...
Dotty: And I take the sardines. No, I leave the sardines. No, I take the sardines.
Lloyd: You leave the sardines and you hang up the phone.
Dotty: Yes, right. I hang up the phone.
Lloyd: And you leave the sardines.
Dotty: I leave the sardines?
Lloyd: You leave the sardines.
Dotty: I hang up the phone and I leave the sardines?
Lloyd: Right!
Dotty: We've changed that, have we, dear?
Lloyd: No, dear...
Dotty: That's what I've always been doing?
Lloyd: I wouldn't say that, Dotty my precious.
Dotty: Well, how about the words, dear, am I getting some of them right?
Lloyd: Some of them have a very familiar ring.

Movie: Noises Off...
Lloyd: On we blindly stumble!

Movie: Noises Off...
Usher: Mr. Fellowes, uh, is there anything wrong with your seat?
Lloyd: [thinking] Yeah, it's facing the stage!

Movie: Noises Off...