Monkey Business Quotes
Groucho: If this is the Captain, I'm gonna have a few words with him. My hot water's been cold for three days. And I haven't got room enough in here to swing a cat. In fact, I haven't even got a cat.
Movie: Monkey Business
Groucho: If you look at it, it's a barn. If you smell it, it's a stable.
Chico: Well, let's just look at it.
Chico: Well, let's just look at it.
Movie: Monkey Business
Groucho: If you look at it, it's a barn. If you smell it, it's a stable.
Chico: Well, let's just look at it.
Chico: Well, let's just look at it.
Movie: Monkey Business
Groucho: Mrs. Briggs, I've known and respected your husband Alky for many years. And what's good enough for him is good enough for me.
[He suddenly grabs her and pulls her down onto a couch]
[He suddenly grabs her and pulls her down onto a couch]
Movie: Monkey Business
Groucho: Nice old piece of melodrama, kidnapping a girl. You've been reading too many dime novels.
Movie: Monkey Business
Groucho: Oh, engineer? Will you tell them to stop the boat from rocking, I'm going to have lunch.
Movie: Monkey Business
Groucho: Oh, engineer? Will you tell them to stop the boat from rocking, I'm going to have lunch.
Movie: Monkey Business
Groucho: Oh, I know it's a penny here and a penny there, but look at me. I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
Movie: Monkey Business
Groucho: Oh, why can't we break away from all this, just you and I, and lodge with my fleas in the hills? I mean... flee to my lodge in the hills.
Movie: Monkey Business
Groucho: With a little study you'll go a long ways, and I wish you'd start now.
Movie: Monkey Business
Groucho: You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar.
Movie: Monkey Business
Groucho: You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar.
Movie: Monkey Business
Lois Laurel: Hi Dr Fulton.
Barnaby: Hi.
Mrs. Edwina Fulton: What did you say to her?
Lois Laurel: Mrs Fulton. He said hi.
Mrs. Edwina Fulton: I heard what he said, you peroxide kissing bug!
Barnaby: Edwina, she hasn't done anything.
Mrs. Edwina Fulton: I'll pull that blonde hair out by its black roots!
Barnaby: Edwina! Now come along. Miss Laurel, you keep out of the way.
Mrs. Edwina Fulton: Put 'em up! Put 'em up! Put 'em up!
Barnaby: Hi.
Mrs. Edwina Fulton: What did you say to her?
Lois Laurel: Mrs Fulton. He said hi.
Mrs. Edwina Fulton: I heard what he said, you peroxide kissing bug!
Barnaby: Edwina, she hasn't done anything.
Mrs. Edwina Fulton: I'll pull that blonde hair out by its black roots!
Barnaby: Edwina! Now come along. Miss Laurel, you keep out of the way.
Mrs. Edwina Fulton: Put 'em up! Put 'em up! Put 'em up!
Movie: Monkey Business
Lucille: [talking to Groucho in the closet] What are you doing in there?
Groucho: Nothing. Come on in.
[Groucho does his famous eyebrow wiggle]
Groucho: Nothing. Come on in.
[Groucho does his famous eyebrow wiggle]
Movie: Monkey Business
Mrs. Edwina Fulton: By the way, whose lipstick is it?
Barnaby: Oh, uh, what's her names? Oxley's secretary.
Mrs. Edwina Fulton: Oh, you mean that little pin up girl? Very cute.
Barnaby: Sort of. But half infant.
Mrs. Edwina Fulton: Not the half that's visible.
Barnaby: Oh, uh, what's her names? Oxley's secretary.
Mrs. Edwina Fulton: Oh, you mean that little pin up girl? Very cute.
Barnaby: Sort of. But half infant.
Mrs. Edwina Fulton: Not the half that's visible.
Movie: Monkey Business
Barnaby: At 11: 52 this morning I took a dose of the formula,and in a few minutes, I began to behave like a college boy with 20/20 vision and no bursitis.
Movie: Monkey Business
Barnaby: All set. Is you motor running?
Lois Laurel: Is yours?
Barnaby: Takes while to warm up.
Lois Laurel: Does, me too.
Lois Laurel: Is yours?
Barnaby: Takes while to warm up.
Lois Laurel: Does, me too.
Movie: Monkey Business
Captain Corcoran: I want you to know that I've been Captain of this ship for 22 years.
Groucho: 22 years, eh? If you were a man, you'd go in business for yourself. I know a fellow started only last year with just a canoe. Now he's got more women than you could shake a stick at, if that's your idea of a good time.
Groucho: 22 years, eh? If you were a man, you'd go in business for yourself. I know a fellow started only last year with just a canoe. Now he's got more women than you could shake a stick at, if that's your idea of a good time.
Movie: Monkey Business
Captain Corcoran: I want you to know that I've been Captain of this ship for 22 years.
Groucho: 22 years, eh? If you were a man, you'd go in business for yourself. I know a fellow started only last year with just a canoe. Now he's got more women than you could shake a stick at, if that's your idea of a good time.
Groucho: 22 years, eh? If you were a man, you'd go in business for yourself. I know a fellow started only last year with just a canoe. Now he's got more women than you could shake a stick at, if that's your idea of a good time.
Movie: Monkey Business
Groucho: Oh, I know it's a penny here and a penny there, but look at me. I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
Movie: Monkey Business
Groucho: I'll thank you to let me do the reporting around here. Is it true you're getting a divorce as soon as your husband recovers his eyesight? Is it true you wash your hair in clam broth? Is it true you used to dance in a flea circus?
Movie: Monkey Business
Groucho: Afraid? Me? A man who's licked his weight in wild caterpillars? AFRAID? You bet I'm afraid!
Movie: Monkey Business
Groucho: I'll thank you to let me do the reporting around here. Is it true you're getting a divorce as soon as your husband recovers his eyesight? Is it true you wash your hair in clam broth? Is it true you used to dance in a flea circus?
Movie: Monkey Business
Groucho: With a little study you'll go a long ways, and I wish you'd start now.
Movie: Monkey Business
Groucho: If this is the Captain, I'm gonna have a few words with him. My hot water's been cold for three days. And I haven't got room enough in here to swing a cat. In fact, I haven't even got a cat.
Movie: Monkey Business
Lois Laurel: Mr. Oxley's been complaining about my punctuation, so I'm careful to get here before nine.
Movie: Monkey Business
Lucille: You can't stay in that closet.
Groucho: [emerging behind her] Oh, I can't, can I? That's what they said to Thomas Edison, mighty inventor; Thomas Lindbergh, mighty flier; and Tomashevsky, mighty like a rose. Just remember, my little cabbage, that if there weren't any closets, there wouldn't be any hooks, and if there weren't any hooks, there wouldn't be any fish, and that would suit me fine.
Groucho: [emerging behind her] Oh, I can't, can I? That's what they said to Thomas Edison, mighty inventor; Thomas Lindbergh, mighty flier; and Tomashevsky, mighty like a rose. Just remember, my little cabbage, that if there weren't any closets, there wouldn't be any hooks, and if there weren't any hooks, there wouldn't be any fish, and that would suit me fine.
Movie: Monkey Business