One Good Turn Quotes

Old lady: [Ollie shoves Stan through the door] What on earth is the matter?

Oliver: Madam, my one-time friend Mr. Laurel has a confession to make.

Old lady: Confession?

Oliver: Yes. He's the one who stole your money and left you at the mercy of that villain!

Old lady: There must be some mistake.

Oliver: There's no mistake. It's all too true. Why I caught him red handed.

Old lady: There hasn't been any money stolen. We were just rehearsing a play for the community players.
[laughs]

Oliver: [after long pause; nervously twiddles his tie] I must have made a faux pas.
[laughs; Stan proceeds to beat Ollie up]

Movie: One Good Turn
Old lady: [Ollie shoves Stan through the door] What on earth is the matter?

Oliver: Madam, my one-time friend Mr. Laurel has a confession to make.

Old lady: Confession?

Oliver: Yes. He's the one who stole your money and left you at the mercy of that villain!

Old lady: There must be some mistake.

Oliver: There's no mistake. It's all too true. Why I caught him red handed.

Old lady: There hasn't been any money stolen. We were just rehearsing a play for the community players.
[laughs]

Oliver: [after long pause; nervously twiddles his tie] I must have made a faux pas.
[laughs; Stan proceeds to beat Ollie up]

Movie: One Good Turn
Oliver: Now I see it all.

Stanley: What?

Oliver: "What". Don't try to alibi. You know you stole this money from that old lady. Why guilt is written all over you.

Stanley: What do you mean?

Oliver: I mean that you're going to give this money back and make a full confession!

Stanley: A confession of what?

Oliver: And to think after all these years I've been fostering a common theif. A viper in my bosom!

Stanley: Whose bosom? What are you talking about?

Oliver: Don't try to bluff me! To think you would bite the hand that was feeding you. You snake in the grass. You traitor! You sheep in wool clothing. You double-crosser. You judist! You... You...!

Stanley: Stop! Don't call me a "You-you".

Movie: One Good Turn
Oliver: One good turn deserves another.

Stanley: So do I neither.

Oliver: What do you mean, "so do I neither"?

Movie: One Good Turn
Oliver: Now I see it all.

Stanley: What?

Oliver: What. Don't try to alibi. You know you stole this money from that old lady. Why guilt is written all over you.

Stanley: What do you mean?

Oliver: I mean that you're going to give this money back and make a full confession!

Stanley: A confession of what?

Oliver: And to think after all these years I've been fostering a common theif. A viper in my bosom!

Stanley: Whose bosom? What are you talking about?

Oliver: Don't try to bluff me! To think you would bite the hand that was feeding you. You snake in the grass. You traitor! You sheep in wool clothing. You double-crosser. You judist! You... You...!

Stanley: Stop! Don't call me a You-you.

Movie: One Good Turn
Oliver: Now I see it all.
Stanley: What?
Oliver: "What". Don't try to alibi. You know you stole this money from that old lady. Why guilt is written all over you.
Stanley: What do you mean?
Oliver: I mean that you're going to give this money back and make a full confession!
Stanley: A confession of what?
Oliver: And to think after all these years I've been fostering a common theif. A viper in my bosom!
Stanley: Whose bosom? What are you talking about?
Oliver: Don't try to bluff me! To think you would bite the hand that was feeding you. You snake in the grass. You traitor! You sheep in wool clothing. You double-crosser. You judist! You... You...!
Stanley: Stop! Don't call me a "You-you".

Movie: One Good Turn
Oliver: One good turn deserves another.

Stanley: So do I neither.

Oliver: What do you mean, so do I neither?

Movie: One Good Turn
Oliver: Why you, you...

Stanley: Don't you call me a you-you!

Movie: One Good Turn
Oliver: We haven't tasted food for three whole days.

Old lady: Three whole days!

Stanley: Yes ma'am. Yesterday, today and tomorrow.

Movie: One Good Turn
Oliver: We haven't tasted food for three whole days.

Old lady: Three whole days!

Stanley: Yes ma'am. Yesterday, today and tomorrow.

Movie: One Good Turn
Oliver: Why you, you...

Stanley: Don't you call me a you-you!

Movie: One Good Turn
Stanley: I don't know anything about cutting wood.

Oliver: Well, you ought to. You once told me your father was in the lumber business.

Stanley: I know he was, but it was only in a small way.

Oliver: What do you mean small way?

Stanley: He used to sell toothpicks.

Oliver: Well, go ahead and make some toothpicks. Be a chip off of the old block.

Movie: One Good Turn
Stanley: I don't know anything about cutting wood.

Oliver: Well, you ought to. You once told me your father was in the lumber business.

Stanley: I know he was, but it was only in a small way.

Oliver: What do you mean small way?

Stanley: He used to sell toothpicks.

Oliver: Well, go ahead and make some toothpicks. Be a chip off of the old block.

Movie: One Good Turn
[after their tent has gone up in flames]
Oliver: Well, our earthly possessions are slowly getting less and less.

Movie: One Good Turn
[after their tent has gone up in flames]

Oliver: Well, our earthly possessions are slowly getting less and less.

Movie: One Good Turn