Joan of Arcadia Quotes
Kevin: And then I woke up in the hospital, I saw Dad's face, and I wondered..."Why does Mom think this man is so good-looking?"
TV Show: Joan of Arcadia
Joan: I'm not... pregnant.
Luke: Then why was there a pregnancy kit in the bathroom? Because *I'm* not pregnant and I'm pretty sure Kevin's not pregnant, which leaves...
Joan: Mom.
Luke: Okay, I'm an expert on probability, and given factors such as Mom's and Dad's ages, birth control, and the average frequency of sex after twenty-three...
Joan: [covering ears] Ewwwww!
Luke: Then why was there a pregnancy kit in the bathroom? Because *I'm* not pregnant and I'm pretty sure Kevin's not pregnant, which leaves...
Joan: Mom.
Luke: Okay, I'm an expert on probability, and given factors such as Mom's and Dad's ages, birth control, and the average frequency of sex after twenty-three...
Joan: [covering ears] Ewwwww!
TV Show: Joan of Arcadia
Luke: So I asked Grace to do this thing with me, and, at the time, she said "yes". Sort of. But...
Joan: Wait, Grace Polk said yes to you?
Luke: It was somewhat contingent, but, essentially, yeah.
Joan: Huh, you're so gonna get it.
Luke: But see, I don't know if she actually remembers me asking, so do I - do I have to do the full reapproach, or...?
Joan: What is she going to wear, because they don't make gowns out of fatigues.
Luke: What are we talking about?
Joan: You asked Grace Polk to the semi-formal.
Luke: I asked her to be my partner in the science fair.
Joan: Wow. Science really is like sex to you.
Joan: Wait, Grace Polk said yes to you?
Luke: It was somewhat contingent, but, essentially, yeah.
Joan: Huh, you're so gonna get it.
Luke: But see, I don't know if she actually remembers me asking, so do I - do I have to do the full reapproach, or...?
Joan: What is she going to wear, because they don't make gowns out of fatigues.
Luke: What are we talking about?
Joan: You asked Grace Polk to the semi-formal.
Luke: I asked her to be my partner in the science fair.
Joan: Wow. Science really is like sex to you.
TV Show: Joan of Arcadia
Grace: Y'know, this whole debate is a joke.
Friedman: I have a very strong rebuttal.
Grace: Like it matters? No matter what happens in this debate, those metal detectors will still be there. They will still stop us and search us.
Mr. Price: I would like you to leave, Miss Polk.
Grace: Oh, gee, remember free speech, Mr. Price?
Mr. Enfield: Remember decorum? Manners? Civility?
Grace: Yeah, all the things that used to keep us down? Well guess what, today is about freedom.
Joan: You call what you are doing right now free speech?
Mr. Enfield: You're not debating this young woman, Miss Girardi. I suggest you not deviate from the rules.
Friedman: [In undertone to Glynis] We're so gonna win this debate.
Grace: That's right, Girardi. Party line - that's what it's about.
Mr. Price: Alright, out!
Joan: And what's it about for you, Grace? Your idea of freedom is a world where everyone agrees with you?
Grace: You believe in this crap?
Joan: I don't know what I believe. I know Ramsey came in here with a gun. I know people could have died - you, me. You said I think like this becasue my father's a cop? Like that's bad? Yeah, my dad is a cop and you may think that makes him some kind of bigot, but he deals with those guns every day. This is not some political thing for him, this is reality. He's had them pointed at him and shoved in his face and that makes it real for me too, because every time I hear that the cops are in someplace and shots are fired, I wonder if I'm ever going to see my father again. I don't think we should have to, like, live in some prison - that sucks - but I do know we have to deal with this. We have to work something out. Even if it's not what we sort of believe in in the first p
Friedman: I have a very strong rebuttal.
Grace: Like it matters? No matter what happens in this debate, those metal detectors will still be there. They will still stop us and search us.
Mr. Price: I would like you to leave, Miss Polk.
Grace: Oh, gee, remember free speech, Mr. Price?
Mr. Enfield: Remember decorum? Manners? Civility?
Grace: Yeah, all the things that used to keep us down? Well guess what, today is about freedom.
Joan: You call what you are doing right now free speech?
Mr. Enfield: You're not debating this young woman, Miss Girardi. I suggest you not deviate from the rules.
Friedman: [In undertone to Glynis] We're so gonna win this debate.
Grace: That's right, Girardi. Party line - that's what it's about.
Mr. Price: Alright, out!
Joan: And what's it about for you, Grace? Your idea of freedom is a world where everyone agrees with you?
Grace: You believe in this crap?
Joan: I don't know what I believe. I know Ramsey came in here with a gun. I know people could have died - you, me. You said I think like this becasue my father's a cop? Like that's bad? Yeah, my dad is a cop and you may think that makes him some kind of bigot, but he deals with those guns every day. This is not some political thing for him, this is reality. He's had them pointed at him and shoved in his face and that makes it real for me too, because every time I hear that the cops are in someplace and shots are fired, I wonder if I'm ever going to see my father again. I don't think we should have to, like, live in some prison - that sucks - but I do know we have to deal with this. We have to work something out. Even if it's not what we sort of believe in in the first p
TV Show: Joan of Arcadia
Security Officer God: Do you know what grace is, Joan?
Joan: Yeah, pissed off.
Security Officer God: Do you know the meaning of grace? It's a touch of truth that let's you see the world in a new way. It's a gift that can only be felt when you are open enough to accept it.
Joan: Yeah, pissed off.
Security Officer God: Do you know the meaning of grace? It's a touch of truth that let's you see the world in a new way. It's a gift that can only be felt when you are open enough to accept it.
TV Show: Joan of Arcadia
[After Will and Helen kiss]
Joan: I thought we established the Kitchen as a no PDA zone.
Joan: I thought we established the Kitchen as a no PDA zone.
TV Show: Joan of Arcadia
Joan: It's just that, I like Adam.
Helen: I know, honey.
Joan: Mom, please. I know you think I'm dating him but I'm not. I mean, we kissed once (and, please, never repeat that to me or anyone else because I'm already grossed out I told you,) but it was just a kiss. You know, just a one-time kiss.
Helen: Okay.
Joan: It doesn't mean we're dating, does it?
Helen: Well -
Joan: Right, I know, of course not. It's just I think Adam thought that it did and he was kinda ... y'know, about it. And I - I - I was sort of ... y'know, too.
Helen: Oh...
Joan: And now he likes someone else - this, Iris (huh) - and I don't know what he sees in her. I mean, she's all... y'know. I want him to be happy; I'm not one of those people who gets all perky when someone else is miserable (maybe I am), but - but I do think Adam should be happy. Just not before I'm happy. I mean, he can be happy with someone else after I'm happy with someone else. (Does that make me a total maggot? Whatever.) The real question is: should I try to get him back? I mean, what if he falls in love with her and I realize that I do like him and it's too late but if I break them up and get him back but realize that I really don't want to be with him then he's going to hate me again, which I could not stand because I really like him. [Sighs] There's just no good answer here.
Helen: Honey, you are dealing with a lot of emotions.
Joan: Mom, I can't have this conversation right now, okay?
Helen: I know, honey.
Joan: Mom, please. I know you think I'm dating him but I'm not. I mean, we kissed once (and, please, never repeat that to me or anyone else because I'm already grossed out I told you,) but it was just a kiss. You know, just a one-time kiss.
Helen: Okay.
Joan: It doesn't mean we're dating, does it?
Helen: Well -
Joan: Right, I know, of course not. It's just I think Adam thought that it did and he was kinda ... y'know, about it. And I - I - I was sort of ... y'know, too.
Helen: Oh...
Joan: And now he likes someone else - this, Iris (huh) - and I don't know what he sees in her. I mean, she's all... y'know. I want him to be happy; I'm not one of those people who gets all perky when someone else is miserable (maybe I am), but - but I do think Adam should be happy. Just not before I'm happy. I mean, he can be happy with someone else after I'm happy with someone else. (Does that make me a total maggot? Whatever.) The real question is: should I try to get him back? I mean, what if he falls in love with her and I realize that I do like him and it's too late but if I break them up and get him back but realize that I really don't want to be with him then he's going to hate me again, which I could not stand because I really like him. [Sighs] There's just no good answer here.
Helen: Honey, you are dealing with a lot of emotions.
Joan: Mom, I can't have this conversation right now, okay?
TV Show: Joan of Arcadia
Kevin: Maybe if learned how to shoot some hoops, we could turn you into a real man - put a smile on your face.
[Kevin punches Luke in the arm, playfully]
Luke: God, why don't you just cut out the cocky athletic crap, Kevin. You're not that guy anymore and never will be again. [Pause] I'm - I'm sorry.
Kevin: What's your problem? The more things that go my way, the more pissed off you get. What's that about?
Luke: I said, "I'm sorry," okay? It won't happen again.
Kevin: Yes it will. What do you and your science friends call that - Law of Inertia? What is it?
[Kevin punches Luke again]
Kevin: What's the problem, Luke?
Luke: THAT! Right there. Do you have any idea how much I hated you for shoving me and hitting me and making fun of me all the time? And no one would say anything about it because you were the big star and I was just a geek. You know, after your accident, when I heard you'd never walk again, I was happy.
[Kevin punches Luke in the arm, playfully]
Luke: God, why don't you just cut out the cocky athletic crap, Kevin. You're not that guy anymore and never will be again. [Pause] I'm - I'm sorry.
Kevin: What's your problem? The more things that go my way, the more pissed off you get. What's that about?
Luke: I said, "I'm sorry," okay? It won't happen again.
Kevin: Yes it will. What do you and your science friends call that - Law of Inertia? What is it?
[Kevin punches Luke again]
Kevin: What's the problem, Luke?
Luke: THAT! Right there. Do you have any idea how much I hated you for shoving me and hitting me and making fun of me all the time? And no one would say anything about it because you were the big star and I was just a geek. You know, after your accident, when I heard you'd never walk again, I was happy.
TV Show: Joan of Arcadia
[Kids Joan is supervising are beating a Piniata and Iris walks in]
Iris: Stop! Stop it!
Joan: Don't be such a drag, we're just having a little fun.
Iris: Fun? Swinging around a stick and beating things? My father thought it was fun too, just a little fun. Beating us with a stick, just like this. First my mother and then.... Why would you do this?
Iris: Stop! Stop it!
Joan: Don't be such a drag, we're just having a little fun.
Iris: Fun? Swinging around a stick and beating things? My father thought it was fun too, just a little fun. Beating us with a stick, just like this. First my mother and then.... Why would you do this?
TV Show: Joan of Arcadia
Joan: I just want to be a normal couple again. Do you remember normal?
Adam: Not really.
Adam: Not really.
TV Show: Joan of Arcadia
Cute Boy God: Crazy is destructive. It tears down. I'm all about building up.
Joan: Then I suggest you take up carpentry.
Joan: Then I suggest you take up carpentry.
TV Show: Joan of Arcadia
Helen: Luke, one breakdown a year is all we can handle. You'll have to wait.
TV Show: Joan of Arcadia
God: It's a creation, Joan. It's not a destruction. And that's what I want you to do. I want you to be creative. I want you to build things.
Joan: I build lamps!
Joan: I build lamps!
TV Show: Joan of Arcadia
Joan: You hurt me. Really bad. Why should I trust you again?
God: Why did you ever?
Joan: Look, we had some good times. And I'm fine with you being, you know, the divine "it." But I don't want to see you anymore. It's not you. It's me. I--I'm just-- I'm not the girl for you. I--I had... a taste of normal, and...I really liked it, you know? I really enjoyed being optimistic and... making my lamps.
God: Don't you miss me a little?
Joan: No... Please go.
God: Do you miss yourself? Because I do.
God: Why did you ever?
Joan: Look, we had some good times. And I'm fine with you being, you know, the divine "it." But I don't want to see you anymore. It's not you. It's me. I--I'm just-- I'm not the girl for you. I--I had... a taste of normal, and...I really liked it, you know? I really enjoyed being optimistic and... making my lamps.
God: Don't you miss me a little?
Joan: No... Please go.
God: Do you miss yourself? Because I do.
TV Show: Joan of Arcadia
Joan: Just explain the electromagnetic spectrum to me.
Luke: Nope.
Joan: Luke, it...it's kind of personal.
Luke: [Staring at Joan; pencil falls from his teeth] You have personal issues with the electromagnetic spectrum?
Luke: Nope.
Joan: Luke, it...it's kind of personal.
Luke: [Staring at Joan; pencil falls from his teeth] You have personal issues with the electromagnetic spectrum?
TV Show: Joan of Arcadia