Happy Gilmore Quotes

Donald: Good shooting soldier!

Movie: Happy Gilmore
Happy Gilmore: Where are you going with those clubs, punk? [pushes young caddy to the ground]
Happy's Waterbury Caddy: Mr. Gilmore, I'm your caddy!
Happy Gilmore: Oh, I'm sorry about that. Let me carry these, alright, they were my grandfather's, they're pretty old.
Happy's Waterbury Caddy: Well, what should I do then?
Happy Gilmore: I don't know. Why don't you just watch me, and make sure I don't do anything stupid. Okay? Starter #1: Mr. Gilmore, Mr. Lafferty will be teeing off now.
Happy Gilmore: Alright, good luck, buddy.
Happy's Waterbury Caddy: Get out the way. [crowd laughs]
Happy Gilmore: [to caddy] Where were you on that one, dipshit?

Movie: Happy Gilmore
Happy Gilmore: I'll make you a bet. If you get this puck into that net, I'll never bother you again. But if you miss, you have to give me a big fat kiss. And you have to pretend you like it too.
Virginia: Do you always carry a puck with you?
Happy Gilmore: Yeah. [Virginia shoots puck and scores]
Happy Gilmore: Holy ****. Talk about your all time backfires.

Movie: Happy Gilmore
Happy Gilmore: That guy's driving me crazy.
Bob Barker: You know what's driving me crazy? You not getting the ball in the hole!
Happy Gilmore: Don't push me, Bob. Now's not the time!

Movie: Happy Gilmore
Virginia: [Happy has just been hit by a car] Happy! Happy are you okay?
Happy Gilmore: [groaning] Volkswagen!
Donald: [out of the window, driving the car] Jackass!

Movie: Happy Gilmore
[Happy Gilmore cheers and uses a golf club to do bull dance]
Gary Potter: [to his caddy] Doing the Bull Dance, feeling the flow. Working, working.

Movie: Happy Gilmore