Ellen - The Ellen DeGeneres Show Quotes
Ellen: [During her stand-up routine] You know how you always expect someone to think the same as you and then your like, really shocked when they don't? Like when it's a cold day and you turn to the person next to you and say, 'Its so cold, aren't you cold?' and then they say 'no.' It's kinda like, 'what, are you a communist?'
Movie: Ellen - The Ellen DeGeneres Show
Ellen: What's it like to be you?
Paul McCartney: Weird, man.
Paul McCartney: Weird, man.
Movie: Ellen - The Ellen DeGeneres Show
Ellen: Hi, where are you from?
Audience Member: Orlando, Florida.
Ellen: Oh, we were just there. Did you come see us?
Audience Member: Ah, no. I couldn't. That's why I'm here now.
Ellen: Oh, well, that's much more convenient.
Audience Member: Orlando, Florida.
Ellen: Oh, we were just there. Did you come see us?
Audience Member: Ah, no. I couldn't. That's why I'm here now.
Ellen: Oh, well, that's much more convenient.
Movie: Ellen - The Ellen DeGeneres Show
Hand Puppet: It wouldn't have worked out anyway.
Ellen: Why's that?
Hand Puppet: I was dating a sock.
Ellen: Oh
Hand Puppet: And we never went anywhere.
Ellen: Well that's no good.
Hand Puppet: Yeh, and one day he went into the dryer and never came back.
Ellen: Why's that?
Hand Puppet: I was dating a sock.
Ellen: Oh
Hand Puppet: And we never went anywhere.
Ellen: Well that's no good.
Hand Puppet: Yeh, and one day he went into the dryer and never came back.
Movie: Ellen - The Ellen DeGeneres Show
['Mystery phone guest' calls and Ellen picks up]
The Rock: Hello?
Ellen: Hi! Madonna? Is that you?
The Rock: Hello?
Ellen: Hi! Madonna? Is that you?
TV Show: Ellen: The Ellen DeGeneres Show
[referring to the "Silent Hill" poster]
Ellen: She doesn't have a mouth.
Ellen: She doesn't have a mouth.
TV Show: Ellen: The Ellen DeGeneres Show
Robert Downey Jr.: I play an evil scientist in The Shaggy Dog, and I'm a lot like the character I play. Except I'm not evil.
Ellen: Or a scientist. [Audience laughs]
Robert Downey Jr.: [Closes eyes] This is one of those moments I just need to to stop and recollect my thoughts.
TV Show: Ellen: The Ellen DeGeneres Show
Ellen: [During her stand-up routine] You know how you always expect someone to think the same as you and then your like, really shocked when they don't? Like when it's a cold day and you turn to the person next to you and say, 'Its so cold, aren't you cold?' and then they say 'no.' It's kinda like, 'what, are you a communist?'
TV Show: Ellen: The Ellen DeGeneres Show
Ellen: [Playing horses or Hippies] They eat grass.
Audience Member: Hippies.
Ellen: No, it's horses. Hippies don't *eat* grass [winks]
TV Show: Ellen: The Ellen DeGeneres Show
Ellen: [Speaking about the Emmy's] You know, winning is not important. It's about how you feel about yourself. And of course, you're gonna feel a whole lot better about yourself if you win.
TV Show: Ellen: The Ellen DeGeneres Show
Ellen: Hi, where are you from?
Audience Member: Orlando, Florida.
Ellen: Oh, we were just there. Did you come see us?
Audience Member: Ah, no. I couldn't. That's why I'm here now.
Ellen: Oh, well, that's much more convenient.
TV Show: Ellen: The Ellen DeGeneres Show
Ellen: Hi, where are you from?
Stand-In DJ: I was born in Sydney, Australia, but I moved here fourteen years ago.
Ellen: Oh, well in case no-one has said it yet, welcome to our country!
TV Show: Ellen: The Ellen DeGeneres Show
Ellen: I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.
TV Show: Ellen: The Ellen DeGeneres Show
Ellen: I'm really glad that high jeans are coming back in fashion, cause you know how all the jeans are low now? And cause, you know, sometimes I have to bend down [Audience laugh]
Ellen: No, but it's really good higher jeans are coming back in fashion. Remember the jeans back in the 80's? That kinda high was good. But any higher and they'd be strapless jeans.
TV Show: Ellen: The Ellen DeGeneres Show
Ellen: Now before we continue on, is it, do I call you "sir"?
Paul McCartney: King.
TV Show: Ellen: The Ellen DeGeneres Show
Ellen: What's it like to be you?
Paul McCartney: Weird, man.
TV Show: Ellen: The Ellen DeGeneres Show
Ellen: You know that song that asks, "Why do fools fall in love?"? I think the obvious answer is because they're fools.
TV Show: Ellen: The Ellen DeGeneres Show
Ricardo Chavira: [Speaking of ghosts in his house] I'll try and keep them happy. Maybe I'll bring them flowers.
Ellen: Yeh, ghosts like flowers.
Ricardo Chavira: Do you know what kind?
Ellen: ...forget-me-nots?
TV Show: Ellen: The Ellen DeGeneres Show
Hand Puppet: It wouldn't have worked out anyway.
Ellen: Why's that?
Hand Puppet: I was dating a sock.
Ellen: Oh
Hand Puppet: And we never went anywhere.
Ellen: Well that's no good.
Hand Puppet: Yeh, and one day he went into the dryer and never came back.
TV Show: Ellen: The Ellen DeGeneres Show