Dumb and Dumber To Quotes
Harry Dunne: Boy, I sure wish I could have been there when she was little.
Lloyd Christmas: Whatever. That's all water under the fridge now, Har. Think of the bright side. You're finally getting to meet her, and you never had to change those poopy diapers.
Harry Dunne: That's called being a parent, Lloyd. Besides, I changed your poopy diapers for 20 years.
Lloyd Christmas: I totally sucked you in. Half the time, it wasn't even my poop.
Lloyd Christmas: Whatever. That's all water under the fridge now, Har. Think of the bright side. You're finally getting to meet her, and you never had to change those poopy diapers.
Harry Dunne: That's called being a parent, Lloyd. Besides, I changed your poopy diapers for 20 years.
Lloyd Christmas: I totally sucked you in. Half the time, it wasn't even my poop.
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Harry Dunne: That's weird. The smell of peanuts makes my weenie cold.
Lloyd Christmas: It shrank mine.
Lloyd Christmas: It shrank mine.
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Lloyd Christmas: Harry, holy cow. I'm worried about you. You're as deaf as a bat.
Harry Dunne: That's not exactly how it happened, Lloyd. Your mother got into bed with me.
Harry Dunne: That's not exactly how it happened, Lloyd. Your mother got into bed with me.
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Dr. Meldmann: Okay, may I ask you a question, doctor. And I don't mean to be insensitive. But, uh, does Dr. Pinchelow have Aspergers?
Lloyd Christmas: Probably. I know he doesn't wipe real well.
Lloyd Christmas: Probably. I know he doesn't wipe real well.
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Harry Dunne: Wow. Great accent, Doc. Where you from?
Dr. Walcott: England. Surrey.
Harry Dunne: Oh, no need to apologize. That was years ago. We kicked your butt anyway, so we're cool with it.
Dr. Walcott: England. Surrey.
Harry Dunne: Oh, no need to apologize. That was years ago. We kicked your butt anyway, so we're cool with it.
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Harry Dunne: Mrs. P. What are you doing here?
Dr. Walcott: Do you always call your wife Mrs. P?
Harry Dunne: Oh. Uh - How you doin', sugar tits? I missed ya.
Dr. Walcott: Do you always call your wife Mrs. P?
Harry Dunne: Oh. Uh - How you doin', sugar tits? I missed ya.
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Captain Lippencott: Why are you standing in the toilet?
Harry Dunne: So you wouldn't see my feet.
Captain Lippencott: Why not just stand on the rim?
Harry Dunne: There's ball hairs all over that thing. I'm not stupid.
Harry Dunne: So you wouldn't see my feet.
Captain Lippencott: Why not just stand on the rim?
Harry Dunne: There's ball hairs all over that thing. I'm not stupid.
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Fraida Felcher: Yeah, but, Lloyd, Lloyd. She isn't your daughter either.
Lloyd Christmas: Nice try, Fraida. But Penny read me the letter. I know all about Oyster Swallow Cove, which is exactly where you took me in the van!
Fraida Felcher: So? That was my spot. I must've taken hundred of guys there. What can I say. I was a titanic whore.
Lloyd Christmas: Nice try, Fraida. But Penny read me the letter. I know all about Oyster Swallow Cove, which is exactly where you took me in the van!
Fraida Felcher: So? That was my spot. I must've taken hundred of guys there. What can I say. I was a titanic whore.
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Fraida Felcher: So, guys, there's still one thing I don't understand. How could either of you have possibly thought that you were Penny's father?
Harry Dunne: Well, why wouldn't we?
Lloyd Christmas: Yeah!
Fraida Felcher: Because we never had sex.
Lloyd Christmas: Oh. Yeah. Well, you could've fooled us.
Harry Dunne: Yeah, nice try, Snow White. Does the word hot tub jog your memory? If I recall, I played with your boobies for a long time that night. The mother boat, the windshield wipers, the punching bag.
Fraida Felcher: You know Harry, you can't get a woman pregnant by manhandling her breasts.
Harry Dunne: Oh, really? Well, then, why'd your doorbells get so hard?
Lloyd Christmas: Yeah. And did you forget about the French tickler in the back of the van?
Fraida Felcher: Putting a frilly glow-in-the-dark condom on your finger is not the same as having sex.
Lloyd Christmas: What if I go like this?
Lloyd Christmas: [wiggles his finger]
Fraida Felcher: No.
Harry Dunne: Well, why wouldn't we?
Lloyd Christmas: Yeah!
Fraida Felcher: Because we never had sex.
Lloyd Christmas: Oh. Yeah. Well, you could've fooled us.
Harry Dunne: Yeah, nice try, Snow White. Does the word hot tub jog your memory? If I recall, I played with your boobies for a long time that night. The mother boat, the windshield wipers, the punching bag.
Fraida Felcher: You know Harry, you can't get a woman pregnant by manhandling her breasts.
Harry Dunne: Oh, really? Well, then, why'd your doorbells get so hard?
Lloyd Christmas: Yeah. And did you forget about the French tickler in the back of the van?
Fraida Felcher: Putting a frilly glow-in-the-dark condom on your finger is not the same as having sex.
Lloyd Christmas: What if I go like this?
Lloyd Christmas: [wiggles his finger]
Fraida Felcher: No.
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[last lines] Harry Dunne: Bush Club!
Lloyd Christmas: Bush Club! [laughing]
Lloyd Christmas: Bush Club! [laughing]
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Lloyd Christmas: Wow, so this is what rock-bottom feels like. Hm, not THAT bad.
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Captain Lippencott: I thought those Canadian accents were a little shakey.
Gus: Yeah? YOU try it.
Gus: Yeah? YOU try it.
Movie: Dumb and Dumber To
Harry Dunne: I wonder what it would have been like to raise a child. [Harry daydreams of what life would have been like if he raised a daughter. First Harry teaches his toddler daughter how to do a stunt on her bike. Harry is then shown knocking one of his daughter's baby teeth out a few years later. We then see that Harry's now teenage daughter has had her first period]
Harry Dunne: .
Penny: [Harry's daughter now an adult goes on a date]Bye, dad.
Lloyd Christmas: [Lloyd is acting retarded and is wearing a pink vest and two huge fan gloves]Mr Dunne! Mr Dunne! [about to eat from a dustbin]
Lloyd Christmas: Do you mind?
Harry Dunne: Bon appetite, kid!
Harry Dunne: .
Penny: [Harry's daughter now an adult goes on a date]Bye, dad.
Lloyd Christmas: [Lloyd is acting retarded and is wearing a pink vest and two huge fan gloves]Mr Dunne! Mr Dunne! [about to eat from a dustbin]
Lloyd Christmas: Do you mind?
Harry Dunne: Bon appetite, kid!
Movie: Dumb and Dumber To