Dumb and Dumber To Quote

Fraida Felcher: So, guys, there's still one thing I don't understand. How could either of you have possibly thought that you were Penny's father?
Harry Dunne: Well, why wouldn't we?
Lloyd Christmas: Yeah!
Fraida Felcher: Because we never had sex.
Lloyd Christmas: Oh. Yeah. Well, you could've fooled us.
Harry Dunne: Yeah, nice try, Snow White. Does the word hot tub jog your memory? If I recall, I played with your boobies for a long time that night. The mother boat, the windshield wipers, the punching bag.
Fraida Felcher: You know Harry, you can't get a woman pregnant by manhandling her breasts.
Harry Dunne: Oh, really? Well, then, why'd your doorbells get so hard?
Lloyd Christmas: Yeah. And did you forget about the French tickler in the back of the van?
Fraida Felcher: Putting a frilly glow-in-the-dark condom on your finger is not the same as having sex.
Lloyd Christmas: What if I go like this?
Lloyd Christmas: [wiggles his finger]
Fraida Felcher: No.

Movie: Dumb and Dumber To

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