Don Verdean Quotes

Boaz: I want to come to the States. I want to live the American Dream for a while. And get a Pontiac. And I want the Levi's jeans, acid wash, super taper. Like John Stamos. [sighs]
Boaz: I want a wife, Don. I'm lonely here. She has to be gentle and sweet and hot like stripper.

Movie: Don Verdean
Boaz: So, Carol, I've been meaning to ask you since I met you what qualities are you looking for in a mate?
Carol Jensen: Oh, um... [nervous chuckle]
Carol Jensen: I'm sorry, Boaz, I was under the impression you had some questions about Jesus of Nazareth.
Boaz: Oh, yeah. What is it that you like about that guy?

Movie: Don Verdean
Boaz: There are a lot of rocks out there, Don. They all look the same. How do I know which one is the one?
Don Verdean: Well, it can't be that hard. We need the one with breasts.
Boaz: Oh, the breasts. Okay, that one. [laughs]
Boaz: Oh, yeah. There's one big white rock, and it has breasts on it.

Movie: Don Verdean
Carol Jensen: You know, in the eight months that you've known me, you've never asked me one thing about my personal life. I-I-I assumed it was a professional courtesy, but now I realize you think of me as a mindless subordinate.
Don Verdean: Now, Carol, that's not true. I just never thought you *had* a personal life.

Movie: Don Verdean
Tony Lazarus: If I had my druthers, the very next thing we'd be goin' after... the wreckage of Noah's vessel. I'm not talkin' about the Ark, there was this... an earlier prototype. It's more of a recreational vehicle. I believe his boys wrecked it across a rocky shore when they were gallivanting one evening. If I can put that piece of the puzzle together, I can finally close the door on all this dinosaur nonsense, prove that that stuff never existed. Just a hodgepodge of different reptilian bones.

Movie: Don Verdean
Boaz: [in prison exercise room]I made you something. Check it out. [opens The Torah]
Boaz: It's a toothbrush/shiv. This part can brush your teeth, this part is a knife. Brush, stab. Brush, stab. Take it, Don, I made this one for you. It's okay, I've got another one in my butt crack.

Movie: Don Verdean
[last lines] Don Verdean: [holding his food tray]Mind if I sit down? My name's Don.
Gary: Hey.
Don Verdean: Your mother named Carol?
Gary: Yeah.
Don Verdean: I know your mother, son.

Movie: Don Verdean