Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) Quotes
Sam: Truth or dare?
Mike Shiner: Truth.
Sam: That's boring.
Mike Shiner: Truth is always more interesting.
Mike Shiner: Truth.
Sam: That's boring.
Mike Shiner: Truth is always more interesting.
Movie: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
Clara: Now, is it true that you've been injecting yourself with semen from baby pigs?
Riggan: I'm sorry, what?
Clara: As a method of facial rejuvenation.
Riggan: Where did you read that?
Clara: It was tweeted by @prostatewhispers.
Riggan: No, that's not true.
Clara: I know, but did you do it?
Riggan: No, I didn't do it.
Clara: Okay, then I'll just write that you're denying it.
Riggan: No, don't write anything! Why would you write anything? I didn't... don't write what she said.
Riggan: I'm sorry, what?
Clara: As a method of facial rejuvenation.
Riggan: Where did you read that?
Clara: It was tweeted by @prostatewhispers.
Riggan: No, that's not true.
Clara: I know, but did you do it?
Riggan: No, I didn't do it.
Clara: Okay, then I'll just write that you're denying it.
Riggan: No, don't write anything! Why would you write anything? I didn't... don't write what she said.
Movie: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
Gabriel: Are you at all afraid that people will say you're doing this play to battle the impression that you're a washed up superhero...?
Riggan: No, absolutely not. Absolutely not. That's why 20 years ago I said no to Birdman 4.
Riggan: No, absolutely not. Absolutely not. That's why 20 years ago I said no to Birdman 4.
Movie: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
Lady in Bar: You headed to Hollywood, Mike?
Mike Shiner: No. Hollywood's heading here, Tabby.
Mike Shiner: No. Hollywood's heading here, Tabby.
Movie: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
Jake: Ask me if he sells tickets.
Riggan: Does he sell tickets?
Jake: A shitload of tickets! Now ask me if the critics like him?
Riggan: Do they like him?
Jake: They want to spooge on him.
Riggan: [Indicating there's a lady in the room]Hey.
Jake: Lesley...
Lesley: Right on his face.
Riggan: Does he sell tickets?
Jake: A shitload of tickets! Now ask me if the critics like him?
Riggan: Do they like him?
Jake: They want to spooge on him.
Riggan: [Indicating there's a lady in the room]Hey.
Jake: Lesley...
Lesley: Right on his face.
Movie: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
Broadway Lady: [sees Riggan on the roof]Hey, is this for real, or are you shooting a film?
Riggan: A film!
Broadway Lady: You people are full of shit!
Riggan: A film!
Broadway Lady: You people are full of shit!
Movie: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
Broadway Man on Street: Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. [sees Riggan]
Broadway Man on Street: Where you going man? Is that too much? I was just trying to give you a range. It's a little bit too much, I can tell...
Broadway Man on Street: Where you going man? Is that too much? I was just trying to give you a range. It's a little bit too much, I can tell...
Movie: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
Lesley: I'm pathetic. You know, I've dreamt of being a Broadway actress since I was a little kid. And now I'm here. And I'm not a Broadway actress. I'm still just a little kid. And I keep waiting for someone to tell me I made it.
Laura: [Sincerely]Hey. You made it.
Lesley: I did?
Laura: Sadly it was with Mike Shiner, on a fake motel bed.
Laura: [Sincerely]Hey. You made it.
Lesley: I did?
Laura: Sadly it was with Mike Shiner, on a fake motel bed.
Movie: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
Young Birdman: You are lame, Riggan, rolling around with that poncy theater fuck in an 800-seat shithole like this. Oh, you really fucked up this time. You destroy a genius book with that infantile adaptation. Now you're about to destroy what's left of your career. It's pathetic.
Riggan: [trying to meditate]Breathing in, I am calm...
Young Birdman: Let's get the hell out of here while we can.
Riggan: [trying to meditate]... I ignore this mental formation. This is a mental formation.
Young Birdman: Stop that shit! I'm not a mental formation. I'm you, asshole.
Riggan: Leave me alone.
Young Birdman: You were a movie star, remember? Pretentious, but happy.
Riggan: I wasn't happy.
Young Birdman: Ignorant, but charming. Now, you're just a tiny, bitter cocksucker.
Riggan: I was fucking miserable.
Young Birdman: Yeah, but fake miserable. Hollywood miserable. What are you trying to prove? You're an artist? You're not.
Riggan: Fuck you!
Young Birdman: No, fuck you, you coward. We grossed billions! You're ashamed of that? Billions!
Riggan: And billions of flies eat shit every day! So what? Does that make it good? I don't know if you noticed, but that was 1992!
Young Birdman: You could jump right back into that suit if you wanted to.
Riggan: [rips open his shirt]Oh, look at me! Look at this! Look, look, look! I look like a turkey with leukemia! I'm fucking disappearing. This is what's left! I'm the answer to a fucking Trivial Pursuit question!
Young Birdman: You're an impostor here. Eventually they will figure you out.
Riggan: What part of this don't you get? You're dead.
Young Birdman: We are not dead.
Riggan: Oh, please, just stay dead.
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Riggan: [trying to meditate]Breathing in, I am calm...
Young Birdman: Let's get the hell out of here while we can.
Riggan: [trying to meditate]... I ignore this mental formation. This is a mental formation.
Young Birdman: Stop that shit! I'm not a mental formation. I'm you, asshole.
Riggan: Leave me alone.
Young Birdman: You were a movie star, remember? Pretentious, but happy.
Riggan: I wasn't happy.
Young Birdman: Ignorant, but charming. Now, you're just a tiny, bitter cocksucker.
Riggan: I was fucking miserable.
Young Birdman: Yeah, but fake miserable. Hollywood miserable. What are you trying to prove? You're an artist? You're not.
Riggan: Fuck you!
Young Birdman: No, fuck you, you coward. We grossed billions! You're ashamed of that? Billions!
Riggan: And billions of flies eat shit every day! So what? Does that make it good? I don't know if you noticed, but that was 1992!
Young Birdman: You could jump right back into that suit if you wanted to.
Riggan: [rips open his shirt]Oh, look at me! Look at this! Look, look, look! I look like a turkey with leukemia! I'm fucking disappearing. This is what's left! I'm the answer to a fucking Trivial Pursuit question!
Young Birdman: You're an impostor here. Eventually they will figure you out.
Riggan: What part of this don't you get? You're dead.
Young Birdman: We are not dead.
Riggan: Oh, please, just stay dead.
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Movie: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
Jake: Get that smile off your face, you're freaking me out.
Movie: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
Riggan: [waiting for his cue during Mike's scene]He's good, huh?
Annie: He's incredible. I think he's drinking real gin.
Annie: He's incredible. I think he's drinking real gin.
Movie: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
Riggan: I wasn't even present in my own life, and now I don't have it, and I'm never going to have it.
Movie: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
Sam: [inspects Mike's black eye]Who did that to you? Could have been anybody, I suppose.
Movie: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
Riggan: That guy is the worst actor I've ever seen in my life. The blood coming out of his ear was the most honest thing he's done so far.
Jake: It's not that bad. [pause]
Jake: Okay, it was fucking terrible.
Jake: It's not that bad. [pause]
Jake: Okay, it was fucking terrible.
Movie: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
Mike Shiner: Riggan, your gun is ridiculous. I can see the red plug in the barrel, so you look like a kid with a plastic toy when you point it at me. I don't feel threatened at all. Get a better one. Have some self respect, please.
Movie: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
Riggan: She does look like she licked a homeless guy's ass.
Movie: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
Annie: The sunbed is here.
Riggan: What does that mean?
Annie: That means there is a sunbed out there being delivered to in here.
Riggan: What does that mean?
Annie: That means there is a sunbed out there being delivered to in here.
Movie: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
Young Birdman: Without me, all that's left is you.
Movie: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
Sam: What's so funny?
Riggan: [Sam brought him some flowers]I can't smell it.
Riggan: [Sam brought him some flowers]I can't smell it.
Movie: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
Lesley: Mike's available.
Riggan: I thought he was doing the thing...?
Lesley: He was. He quit... or got fired.
Riggan: Which is it, quit or fired?
Lesley: Well, with Mike it's usually both.
Riggan: I thought he was doing the thing...?
Lesley: He was. He quit... or got fired.
Riggan: Which is it, quit or fired?
Lesley: Well, with Mike it's usually both.
Movie: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
Young Birdman: You could jump right back into that suit if you wanted to. We're not dead.
Riggan: Look at me. Look at this. Look, look, look! I look like a turkey with leukemia!
Riggan: Look at me. Look at this. Look, look, look! I look like a turkey with leukemia!
Movie: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
Riggan: Look, you're beautiful and you're talented. And I'm lucky to have you.
Movie: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
Mike Shiner: Lesley?
Lesley: What?
Mike Shiner: I think I'm hard.
Lesley: No, you're not. It's just that sometimes you don't consider other people's feelings, that's all.
Mike Shiner: No, no, no. I'm getting hard. Feel that.
Lesley: What?
Mike Shiner: I think I'm hard.
Lesley: No, you're not. It's just that sometimes you don't consider other people's feelings, that's all.
Mike Shiner: No, no, no. I'm getting hard. Feel that.
Movie: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
Sam: What kind of flowers did you say you wanted?
Riggan: Alchemillas, or something that smells nice.
Riggan: Alchemillas, or something that smells nice.
Movie: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
[last lines] Sam: Dad? Dad? [runs to window, looks out, looks down, looks up, laughs]
Movie: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
Sam: What's so funny?
Riggan: I can't smell them.
Riggan: I can't smell them.
Movie: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
Lesley: He tried to fuck me in front of the entire audience.
Movie: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)