Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) Quotes
Larry: Thank the Lord and pass the biscuits, I finally have an actor to dress.
Movie: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
Lesley: [after accidentally bad-mouthing Sam in front of her]How is it that you always manage to find a new way to humiliate me?
Mike Shiner: Oh, to be fair, you make it really easy.
Mike Shiner: Oh, to be fair, you make it really easy.
Movie: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
Lesley: [about Mike]He's such an asshole.
Laura: What'd he do now?
Lesley: Oh, nothing. He just tried to fuck me in front of an entire audience.
Laura: Oh, my god.
Lesley: Right?
Laura: That's kind of hot.
Laura: What'd he do now?
Lesley: Oh, nothing. He just tried to fuck me in front of an entire audience.
Laura: Oh, my god.
Lesley: Right?
Laura: That's kind of hot.
Movie: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
Mike Shiner: They called me for an interview. I told them the first thing that came into my head. The front cover of the art section for Christ's sake.
Riggan: Fuck the art section!
Riggan: Fuck the art section!
Movie: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
[repeated line] Riggan: Twenty little leopards laughed at two lofty lions.
Movie: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
[Mike got an erection on stage and actually wanted to have sex] Lesley: You've got to be shitting me. You can't get it up in six months, and now you want to fuck me in front of 800 strangers?
Movie: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
Riggan: What is this?
Sam: Oh yeah [pause]
Sam: thats pot.
Sam: Oh yeah [pause]
Sam: thats pot.
Movie: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
Lesley: What are you doing?
Mike Shiner: I'm waiting on Larry.
Larry: I'm finished.
Mike Shiner: Then I'm just standing with my cock out.
Lesley: Well, get dressed. Riggan's daughter's hanging around, and I don't need her to...
Mike Shiner: Lesley?
Lesley: ...walk in here. No, Mike, you haven't seen her. She's always hanging around, watching everyone, like Little Miss Creepy.
Mike Shiner: Mm-hmm. Les?
Lesley: I don't know if it's the drugs that fried her brain or what, but I just don't want her running to her father saying you showed her your junk.
Mike Shiner: Then we should ask her to leave.
Lesley: [mortified]Oh, god. Really?
Mike Shiner: I'm waiting on Larry.
Larry: I'm finished.
Mike Shiner: Then I'm just standing with my cock out.
Lesley: Well, get dressed. Riggan's daughter's hanging around, and I don't need her to...
Mike Shiner: Lesley?
Lesley: ...walk in here. No, Mike, you haven't seen her. She's always hanging around, watching everyone, like Little Miss Creepy.
Mike Shiner: Mm-hmm. Les?
Lesley: I don't know if it's the drugs that fried her brain or what, but I just don't want her running to her father saying you showed her your junk.
Mike Shiner: Then we should ask her to leave.
Lesley: [mortified]Oh, god. Really?
Movie: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
Lesley: [Laura looks as if she is about to kiss Lesley]What are you doing?
Laura: Nothing. [Laura kisses Lesley]
Lesley: Do it again.
Laura: Nothing. [Laura kisses Lesley]
Lesley: Do it again.
Movie: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
Mike Shiner: I wanna know something. Why Raymond Carver?
Riggan: I was a kid in high school, doing a play at Syracuse. He was in the audience. And he sent this back, afterwards. [gives Mike a napkin]
Mike Shiner: Thank you for an honest performance. Ray Carver. Yeah?
Riggan: That's how I knew I was gonna be an actor. Right there.
Mike Shiner: [laughs sadly]Oh...
Riggan: What's so funny?
Mike Shiner: He just wrote this on a cocktail napkin?
Riggan: Yeah. So?
Mike Shiner: He was fucking drunk, man.
Riggan: I was a kid in high school, doing a play at Syracuse. He was in the audience. And he sent this back, afterwards. [gives Mike a napkin]
Mike Shiner: Thank you for an honest performance. Ray Carver. Yeah?
Riggan: That's how I knew I was gonna be an actor. Right there.
Mike Shiner: [laughs sadly]Oh...
Riggan: What's so funny?
Mike Shiner: He just wrote this on a cocktail napkin?
Riggan: Yeah. So?
Mike Shiner: He was fucking drunk, man.
Movie: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
Jake: What are you doing?
Riggan: [taking down the Birdman poster]I can't look at this anymore.
Jake: That was a present from the crew. Don't fuck with those guys, they're union.
Riggan: I don't care.
Riggan: [taking down the Birdman poster]I can't look at this anymore.
Jake: That was a present from the crew. Don't fuck with those guys, they're union.
Riggan: I don't care.
Movie: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
Jake: Ralph did it, the motherfucker did it. Threatened to sue us, didn't even wait to get out of the hospital.
Riggan: What did you say?
Jake: What did I say? I said Ralph, you motherfucker, are you threatening me? I swear, I so much as get a letter from a lawyer, then the press is going to get the pictures off your computer. That's what I said.
Riggan: What pictures?
Jake: He has a thing for nuns. In diapers. Why should you care? You shouldn't have any knowledge of that, anyway.
Riggan: What did you say?
Jake: What did I say? I said Ralph, you motherfucker, are you threatening me? I swear, I so much as get a letter from a lawyer, then the press is going to get the pictures off your computer. That's what I said.
Riggan: What pictures?
Jake: He has a thing for nuns. In diapers. Why should you care? You shouldn't have any knowledge of that, anyway.
Movie: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
Mike Shiner: A douchebag's born every minute! That was P.T. Barnum's premise when he invented the circus - and nothing has changed!
Movie: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
Riggan: [speaking to Mike as he walks into a bar]Where are you going?
Mike Shiner: They have coffee here.
Mike Shiner: They have coffee here.
Movie: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)