Bad Black Quotes

[Swaaz enters the bank] V.J. Emmie: This is Swaaz. Swaaz means Schwarzenegger in Uganda. [Swaaz looks around the bank]
V.J. Emmie: Swaaz is a good man. His wife is in the hospital. She's dying. [Swaaz looks at the bank teller counting cash]
V.J. Emmie: He must do what he needs to do to save her.

Movie: Bad Black
[Swaaz grabs the guard's rifle and threatens everyone in the bank before pointing it at the bank teller] V.J. Emmie: Open, open! I said open! [Swaaz attempts to break the bank window with the butt of the rifle]
V.J. Emmie: [imitating the bank teller's voice]No, no, please no! [Swaaz shoots at the window, but the bullets bounce off]
V.J. Emmie: I have a key! [Swaaz reaches down his right leg and pulls out a hammer, using it to smash the window]
V.J. Emmie: Ugandan key.

Movie: Bad Black
[Swaaz and his child accomplice run off with the money and encounter another guard] V.J. Emmie: Huh?
Guard: Who are you? What are you doing?
V.J. Emmie: Hey! This is Captain Alex! He's alive! Captain Alex is alive! [Swaaz guns down the guard]
V.J. Emmie: He's dead. Captain Alex is sooo dead. Who killed Captain Alex? Schwarzenegger!

Movie: Bad Black
V.J. Emmie: Back to Alan Ssali, Muzungu Muganda.
Wesley Snipes: People have been waiting for you. [Doctor Ssali and Wesley enter the tent]
Wesley Snipes: Doctor, what's wrong?
Doctor Ssali: Well, I met a woman, and she stole everything. She stole my money, she stole my passport. I went to the police. They're not gonna do anything. And I don't know what to do.
Wesley Snipes: You should not go to the police. You are a Commando.
Doctor Ssali: I'm not a Commando. I'm a doctor. I'm not a Commando. So I don't know what to do.
Wesley Snipes: Your father was a Commando. It is in your blood. You are Commando. If you can't train yourself, I can train you.
Doctor Ssali: How can you train me? I'm a doctor. I don't know anything. [Wesley slaps Doctor Ssali in the face]
V.J. Emmie: First lesson.

Movie: Bad Black
[Wesley is dressed in Commando gear and holding a bamboo gun] V.J. Emmie: What da hell?
Wesley Snipes: Are you ready? Time for action. Let's go! [Wesley charges at Doctor Ssali with his bamboo gun]
Doctor Ssali: What the hell, man?
Wesley Snipes: Run! Run!
V.J. Emmie: You have to be a Commando! You have to learn to fight for yourself! Forget your wife in America. She hates you! [Doctor Ssali falls into a ditch]
Wesley Snipes: Run!
V.J. Emmie: That, my friend, was poo poo. For real. This is Uganda. Poo poo everywhere. [Wesley continues to chase Doctor Ssali]
V.J. Emmie: You don't want to be a Commando? Yet, your brother is a Commando. You even have...
Wesley Snipes: Dodge! [Wesley uses his slingshot to shoot a rock at Doctor Ssali's face]
Doctor Ssali: I'm a doctor, dammit!
V.J. Emmie: A Commando dog. Just leave me alone! [Doctor Ssali catches his breath, thinking he has lost Wesley. He suddenly notices something behind a fence]
V.J. Emmie: Huh? What's this? [Several other boys point their crossbows at Doctor Ssali and shoot rocks at him. He tries to run away, but is cornered by Wesley]
V.J. Emmie: Oh no! Not again! [Wesley and the street children chase after Doctor Ssali]
V.J. Emmie: Get him! Get Muzungu!
V.J. Emmie: Wait, wait, wait!
Doctor Ssali: Oh my God! Oh my God!
V.J. Emmie: Eat da Muzungu! Cook him alive! He must be delicious!
V.J. Emmie: They're gonna kill me! Somebody help me!

Movie: Bad Black
[Wesley teaches Doctor Ssali kung fu] V.J. Emmie: Master. Da Kung Fu Master. Hello! [Wesley does a cartwheel]
V.J. Emmie: The Karate Kid. [Wesley points at Doctor Ssali's stomach]
Wesley Snipes: What is this?
Doctor Ssali: I don't know. Some matoke. Maybe some candy bars. You know.
V.J. Emmie: Are you stupid? [Wesley slaps Doctor Ssali's stomach]
Wesley Snipes: Push ups!
V.J. Emmie: Miyagi Supa Tough!
Wesley Snipes: Down, down, down. Push ups.
V.J. Emmie: Do it. [They both start doing push ups]
V.J. Emmie: The Ugandan Miyagi.
Wesley Snipes: One. [Wesley slaps Doctor Ssali in the back]
Wesley Snipes: Two.
Doctor Ssali: That is two. That is two. [Wesley gets on Doctor Ssali's back]
Wesley Snipes: Three.
Doctor Ssali: Okay! Okay! Ow!

Movie: Bad Black
Wesley Snipes: I'm going to teach you how to kick. [Wesley does a forward spin kick]
V.J. Emmie: Hello!
Wesley Snipes: Now do it! [Doctor Ssali does several front spin kicks]
Wesley Snipes: Three. Four. Five. Six. [Wesley grabs a lettuce]
Wesley Snipes: Are you ready? Now, kick this.
V.J. Emmie: Supa Master! [Wesley throws the lettuce at Doctor Ssali, who kicks it into pieces. A cow eats half of the lettuce]
V.J. Emmie: Hello!
Wesley Snipes: I'm showing you. I'm showing you. Catch. Catch. [Wesley hands Doctor Ssali his bamboo gun. Doctor Ssali starts charging around with it]
V.J. Emmie: He's trying to be a good Commando. A good soldier.
Wesley Snipes: That's good.
V.J. Emmie: [panting]Master, I'm done.
Wesley Snipes: I think you're ready.
V.J. Emmie: Ready to die.

Movie: Bad Black