American Beauty Quotes

Lester Burnham: How's Jane?
Angela Hayes: What do you mean?
Lester Burnham: I mean, how's her life? Is she happy? Is she miserable? I'd really like to know, and she'd die before she'd ever tell me about it.
Angela Hayes: She's... she's really happy. She thinks she's in love.
Lester Burnham: Good for her.
Angela Hayes: How are you?
Lester Burnham: God, it's been a long time since anybody asked me that... I'm great.
Angela Hayes: I've gotta go to the bathroom.
Lester Burnham: I'm great.

Movie: American Beauty
Catering Boss: I'm not paying you to do... whatever it is you're doing out here.
Ricky Fitts: Fine. So don't pay me.
Catering Boss: Excuse me?
Ricky Fitts: I quit. So you don't have to pay me. Now leave me alone.
Catering Boss: ...asshole.
Lester Burnham: I think you just became my personal hero!

Movie: American Beauty
Carolyn Burnham: Honey, I'm so proud of you. I watched you very closely, and you didn't screw up once!

Movie: American Beauty
Carolyn Burnham: Are you trying to look unattractive?
Jane Burnham: Yes.
Carolyn Burnham: Well, congratulations. You've succeeded admirably.

Movie: American Beauty
Lester Burnham: Look at me, jerking off in the shower... This will be the high point of my day; it's all downhill from here.

Movie: American Beauty
Ricky Fitts: It's like God's looking right at you, just for a second, and if you're careful... you can look right back.
Jane Burnham: And what do you see?
Ricky Fitts: Beauty.

Movie: American Beauty
Lester Burnham : You don't get to tell me what to do ever again.

Movie: American Beauty
Colonel Frank Fitts : Where did you get that?
Ricky Fitts : From my job.
Colonel Frank Fitts : Don't lie to me. Now, I saw you with him.
Ricky Fitts : You were watching me?
Colonel Frank Fitts : What did he make you do?
Ricky Fitts : Oh, Dad, you don't really think that me and Mr. Burnham were...
Colonel Frank Fitts : Don't you laugh at me. Now, I will not sit back and watch my only son become a cock-sucker!
Ricky Fitts : Jesus, what is it with you?
Colonel Frank Fitts : I swear to God, I will throw you out of the house and never look at you again!
Ricky Fitts : You mean that?
Colonel Frank Fitts : You're damn straight I do. I'd rather you were dead than be a fuckin' faggot.
Ricky Fitts : You're right. I suck dick for money.
Colonel Frank Fitts : Boy, don't start.
Ricky Fitts : Two thousand dollars - I'm that good.
Colonel Frank Fitts : Get out!
Ricky Fitts : And you should see me fuck. I'm the best piece of ass in three States.
Colonel Frank Fitts : Get out. I don't ever want to see you again!
Ricky Fitts : What a sad old man you are.

Movie: American Beauty
Carolyn Burnham : Are you trying to look unattractive?
Jane Burnham : Yes.
Carolyn Burnham : Well, congratulations. You've succeeded admirably.

Movie: American Beauty
Ricky Fitts : I'm not obsessing. I'm just curious.

Movie: American Beauty
Carolyn Burnham : Uh, whose car is that out front?
Lester Burnham : Mine. 1970 Pontiac Firebird. The car I've always wanted and now I have it. I rule!

Movie: American Beauty
Carolyn Burnham : This is a $4,000 sofa, upholstered in Italian silk. It is not just a couch.
Lester Burnham : [ shouts ] It's just a couch!

Movie: American Beauty
Lester Burnham : Smile! You're at Mr. Smiley's.

Movie: American Beauty
[ Lester has just caught Caroline cheating with the Real Estate King ]
Carolyn Burnham : Uh, Buddy, this is my...
Lester Burnham : Her husband. We've met before, but something tells me you're going to remember me this time.

Movie: American Beauty
Angela Hayes : This is my first time.

Movie: American Beauty
[ Carolyn is introducing Lester to the Real Estate King ]
Carolyn Burnham : My husband, Lester.
Buddy Kane : It's a pleasure.
Lester Burnham : Oh, we've met before, actually. This thing last year, Christmas at the Sheraton...
Buddy Kane : [ pretends to remember ] Oh yeah, yes...
Lester Burnham : It's OK, I wouldn't remember me either.
Carolyn Burnham : [ laughs nervously ] Honey, don't be weird.
Lester Burnham : OK honey, I won't be weird. I'll be whatever what you want me to be. [ Lester kisses Carolyn wildly, then looks at the Real Estate King ]
Lester Burnham : We have a very healthy relationship.
Buddy Kane : I see.
Lester Burnham : Well, don't know about you guys, but I need a drink.

Movie: American Beauty
Lester Burnham : I figured you guys might be able to give me some pointers. I need to shape up. Fast.
Jim Olmeyer : Are you just looking to lose weight, or do you want increased strength and flexibility as well?
Lester Burnham : I want to look good naked!

Movie: American Beauty
Brad Dupree : [ reading Lester's job description ] "My job consists of basically masking my contempt for the assholes in charge, and, at least once a day, retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off while I fantasize about a life that doesn't so closely resemble Hell." Well, you have absolutely no interest in saving yourself.
Lester Burnham : Brad, for 14 years I've been a whore for the advertising industry. The only way I could save myself now is if I start firebombing.

Movie: American Beauty
Ricky Fitts : Welcome to America's weirdest home videos.

Movie: American Beauty
Lester Burnham : Look at me, jerking off in the shower... This will be the high point of my day; it's all downhill from here.

Movie: American Beauty
Lester Burnham : I feel like I've been in a coma for the past twenty years. And I'm just now waking up.

Movie: American Beauty
Jane Burnham : I know you think my dad's harmless, but you're wrong.

Movie: American Beauty
Carolyn Burnham : You ungrateful little brat! Just look at everything you have. When I was your age, we... lived in a duplex! We didn't even have our own house!

Movie: American Beauty
Angela Hayes : Yeah? Well, at least I'm not ugly!
Ricky Fitts : Yes, you are. And you're boring, and you're totally ordinary, and you know it.

Movie: American Beauty
Lester Burnham : Then I guess I'll have to throw in a sexual harassment charge.
Brad Dupree : Against who?
Lester Burnham : Against YOU. Can you prove that you didn't offer to save my job if I let you blow me?
Brad Dupree : Man, you are one twisted fuck.
Lester Burnham : Nope; I'm just an ordinary guy who has nothing left to lose.

Movie: American Beauty
Ricky Fitts : Excuse me for speaking so bluntly sir. But those fags make me want to puke my fucking guts out.
Colonel Frank Fitts : [ cautiously, after a long pause ] Well, me too son. Me too.

Movie: American Beauty
Ricky Fitts : It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it. And this bag was, like, dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. And that's the day I knew there was this entire life behind things, and... this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video's a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember... and I need to remember... Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in.

Movie: American Beauty
Ricky Fitts : So, do you party?
Lester Burnham : Excuse me?
Ricky Fitts : Do you get high?

Movie: American Beauty
Catering Boss : I'm not paying you to do... whatever it is you're doing out here.
Ricky Fitts : Fine. So don't pay me.
Catering Boss : Excuse me?
Ricky Fitts : I quit. So you don't have to pay me. Now leave me alone.
Catering Boss : ...asshole.
Lester Burnham : [ stunned ] I think you just became my personal hero!

Movie: American Beauty
Carolyn Burnham : Honey, I'm so proud of you. I watched you very closely, and you didn't screw up once!

Movie: American Beauty