American Beauty Quotes

Angela Hayes : I don't think that there's anything worse than being ordinary.

Movie: American Beauty
Angela Hayes : So, you're fucking psycho-boy on a regular basis now? Tell me, has he got a big dick?
Jane Burnham : It's not like that.
Angela Hayes : What, hasn't he got one?
Jane Burnham : I'm not going to talk about his dick with you, OK?

Movie: American Beauty
Carolyn Burnham : Don't you mess with me, mister, or I'll divorce you so fast it'll make your head spin!
Lester Burnham : On what grounds? I'm not a drunk, I don't fuck other women, I've never hit you, I don't mistreat you... I don't even try to touch you since you've made it so abundantly clear how unnecessary you consider me to be! But I did support you when you got your license, and some people might think that entitles me to half of what's yours. So, turn off the light when you come to bed!

Movie: American Beauty
Angela Hayes : I'm serious. He just pulled down his pants and yanked it out. You know, like, "Say hello to Mr. Happy."
Playground Girl #1 : Gross.
Angela Hayes : It wasn't gross. It was kinda cool.
Playground Girl #1 : So did you do it with him?
Angela Hayes : Of course I did. He's like a really well known photographer. He shoots for "Elle" on like a regular basis. It would have been so majorly stupid of me to turn him down.
Playground Girl #2 : You are a total prostitute.
Angela Hayes : Hey! That's how things really are. You just don't know 'cause you're this pampered little suburban chick.
Playground Girl #2 : So are you. You've only been in "Seventeen" once and you looked fat! So stop acting like you're goddamn Christy Turlington!
Angela Hayes : Cunt! I am so sick of people taking their insecurities out on me.

Movie: American Beauty
Jane Burnham : I don't think we can be friends anymore.
Angela Hayes : You're way too uptight about sex.
Jane Burnham : Just don't fuck my dad, all right? Please?
Angela Hayes : Why not?

Movie: American Beauty
Ricky Fitts : She's not your friend. She's just someone you use to feel better about yourself.

Movie: American Beauty
Angela Hayes : Jane, he's a freak!
Jane Burnham : Then so am I! And we'll always be freaks and we'll never be like other people and you'll never be a freak because you're just too... perfect!

Movie: American Beauty
Angela Hayes : You total slut, you have a crush on him. You're defending him, you love him, you wanna have, like, ten thousand of his babies.

Movie: American Beauty
Lester Burnham : My name is Lester Burnham. This is my neighborhood; this is my street; this is my life. I am 42 years old; in less than a year I will be dead. Of course I don't know that yet, and in a way, I am dead already.

Movie: American Beauty
Lester Burnham : [ narrating ] Both my wife and daughter think I'm this gigantic loser and they're right, I have lost something. I'm not exactly sure what it is but I know I didn't always feel this... sedated. But you know what? It's never too late to get it back.

Movie: American Beauty
Jane Burnham : Could he be any more pathetic?
Angela Hayes : I think it's sweet. And I think he and your mother have not had sex in a long time.

Movie: American Beauty
[ Seeing Lester and the two Jim's jogging ]
Colonel Frank Fitts : What is this? The fucking Gay Pride parade?

Movie: American Beauty
Lester Burnham : [ narrating ] Janie's a pretty typical teenager. Angry, insecure, confused. I wish I could tell her that's all going to pass, but I don't want to lie to her.

Movie: American Beauty
Jim Olmeyer : Hello! We're your neighbors from two doors down and we just wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood! [ hands the Colonel a gift basket ]
Jim "JB" Berkely : Everything's from our garden, except for the pasta.
Jim Olmeyer : Yes, it's from Fizzoli's, it's amazingly fresh, you just pop it in water and it's done! I'm Jim Olmeyer. [ shakes the Colonel's hand ]
Jim Olmeyer : And this is my partner Jim.
Jim "JB" Berkely : Jim Berkely, but people call me J.B. [ extends his hand to shake ]
Colonel Frank Fitts : Ah, let's just cut to it, what are you selling?
Jim Olmeyer : Nothing, we just wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood.
Colonel Frank Fitts : You said you're partners, so, uh what's your business?
Jim Olmeyer : Well, he's a tax attorney.
Jim "JB" Berkely : And he's an anesthesiologist.

Movie: American Beauty
Ricky Fitts : I didn't mean to scare you. I just think you're interesting.

Movie: American Beauty
Lester Burnham : Man, oh man. Man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man. [ last words, while looking at a picture of his family ]

Movie: American Beauty
Ricky Fitts : It's like God's looking right at you, just for a second, and if you're careful... you can look right back.
Jane Burnham : And what do you see?
Ricky Fitts : Beauty.

Movie: American Beauty
Carolyn Burnham : I will sell this house today, I will sell this house today.

Movie: American Beauty
Carolyn Burnham : Oh, I see. You think you're the only one who's sexually frustrated here?
Lester Burnham : I'm not? Well, then, come on, baby, I'm ready!

Movie: American Beauty
Lester : [ giggling ] Oh, I'm in trouble!

Movie: American Beauty
Ricky Fitts : [ after Ricky's dad beats him up ] Mom, I'm leaving.
Barbara Fitts : Okay. Wear a raincoat.

Movie: American Beauty
Jane Burnham : [ seeing Lester having just been shot ] Oh, my God...
Ricky Fitts : [ looks at Lester, curiously intrigued ] Wow...

Movie: American Beauty
Barbara Fitts : I'm so sorry for the way things look around here.

Movie: American Beauty
Lester Burnham : [ talking to Carolyn about Jane ] Oh, what? You're mother of the year? You treat her like an employee.

Movie: American Beauty
Angela Hayes : I was hoping you'd give me a bath. I'm very, very dirty.

Movie: American Beauty
Ricky Fitts : I can't believe you don't know how beautiful you are.

Movie: American Beauty
Lester Burnham : You better watch yourself, Jane, or you're going to turn into a real BITCH, just like your MOTHER!

Movie: American Beauty
[ Lester and Carolyn are driving to the basketball game to watch Jane's dance team gig ]
Lester Burnham : Well what makes you so sure she wants us to be there? Did she ask us to come?
Carolyn Burnham : Of course not. She doesn't want us to know how important this is to her. But she's been practicing her steps for weeks.
Lester Burnham : Well, I'll bet money she's going to resent it, and I'm missing the James Bond marathon on TNT.
Carolyn Burnham : Lester, this is important. I'm sensing a real distance growing between you and Jane.
Lester Burnham : "Growing?" She hates me.
Carolyn Burnham : She's just willful.
Lester Burnham : She hates you too.

Movie: American Beauty
Lester Burnham : Well you know what? I've changed! And the new me whacks off when he feels horny!

Movie: American Beauty
Sale House Woman #4 : The ad said this pool was lagoon-like. There's nothing lagoon-like about it, except for the bugs. There aren't even any plants out here!
Carolyn Burnham : What do you call this? Is this not a plant? If you have a problem with my plants, I can always call my landscape architect! Solved!

Movie: American Beauty