21 Jump Street Quotes
Off. Tom Hanson #2: Did someone mention the manly art of poker on Valentine's day?
TV Show: 21 Jump Street
Off. Doug Penhall: [after being awaken in the middle of the night by Hanson] Why didn't you call? Off. Tom Hanson #2: You wouldn't have let me in.
Off. Doug Penhall: I know. Why didn't you call?
Off. Doug Penhall: I know. Why didn't you call?
TV Show: 21 Jump Street
Suspect: [after a very physical bust, the suspect comments on the tussle with Hanson] Keep him away from me. I feel like a child molester.
Charlie: Nice work, kid.
Charlie: Nice work, kid.
TV Show: 21 Jump Street
[first lines]
Leit Geives: You want me to take action on a highly decorated street cop with eighteen years on the force, on the basis of some rookie's hunch. No, I don't think so. You bring me something more solid and then we'll talk.
Officer Doug Penhall: Solid? What do you want? Snap shots?
Leit Geives: You want me to take action on a highly decorated street cop with eighteen years on the force, on the basis of some rookie's hunch. No, I don't think so. You bring me something more solid and then we'll talk.
Officer Doug Penhall: Solid? What do you want? Snap shots?
TV Show: 21 Jump Street
[first lines]
Mr. Antonini: The sun which is the overall picture of the universe, or rather insignificant star, is however important to us in many ways. Can you give me some examples?
Mr. Antonini: The sun which is the overall picture of the universe, or rather insignificant star, is however important to us in many ways. Can you give me some examples?
TV Show: 21 Jump Street
[first lines]
Noreen Weckerle: Mom, would you give me a break? I mean, come on, I got to hear this every ten seconds.
Mrs. Weckerle: What's the difference? You only listen for one. Come on, anorexia, dinner.
Noreen Weckerle: Mom, would you give me a break? I mean, come on, I got to hear this every ten seconds.
Mrs. Weckerle: What's the difference? You only listen for one. Come on, anorexia, dinner.
TV Show: 21 Jump Street
Off. Tom Hanson #2: Did someone mention the manly art of poker on Valentine's day?
TV Show: 21 Jump Street
Officer Judy Hoffs: How many times have you seen this?
Off. Tom Hanson #2: 122 times... but I don't watch the whole tape. I watch 3.3 seconds. 3.3 seconds that slipped through my fingers. 3.3 seconds where I could've done a thousand different things. But I didn't move. Do you know how many things you can do in 3.3 seconds? You can take off your shoes, pop a beer, and shoot someone in 3.3 seconds.
Officer Judy Hoffs: Come on, Hanson.
Off. Tom Hanson #2: You can hold your finger down on the remote control and pass 17 stations in 3.3 seconds. You can open a can of tuna fish, shuffle and bridge a deck of cards, or twist the tops off six bottles of ginger ale in 3.3 seconds.
Officer Judy Hoffs: Hanson, please!
Off. Tom Hanson #2: You can ring a doorbell 22 times, lock and unlock a deadbolt four times, or sing the entire alphabet in 3.3 seconds.
Officer Judy Hoffs: Hanson, please! Please.
TV Show: 21 Jump Street
Dave, the poet junkie: Save your preach, cop. I reject everything, man. And it's not because I'm unhappy or confused or afraid of reality. See, I can, I can, chew up the nastiest tastes reality has to dish out, man. And if reality serves me up some raw sewage, man - I'll, I'll slurp up a whole toilet-bowl full and call it ambrosia.
Officer Dennis Booker: You always had a way with words, Dave.
TV Show: 21 Jump Street
Off. Doug Penhall: [after being awaken in the middle of the night by Hanson] Why didn't you call?
Off. Tom Hanson #2: You wouldn't have let me in.
Off. Doug Penhall: I know. Why didn't you call?
TV Show: 21 Jump Street
Off. Doug Penhall: Oh! Oh! You're not supposed to be watching that. Where's the babysitter? [Clavo points to the door where Doug hears giggling from inside the bedroom. Doug knocks]
Off. Doug Penhall: Hey! You've got five seconds to get your clothes on and get out of there before I light your friggin' underwear on fire. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. [the babysitter and her boyfriend run half-naked out the door]
TV Show: 21 Jump Street
Off. Doug Penhall: They're gonna have fireworks, free hot dogs. Even Sprinkles the clown!
Off. Tom Hanson #2: Sprinkles? Really?
TV Show: 21 Jump Street
Off. Doug Penhall: This guy is the worst burglar I've ever seen. He's drunk.
Off. Tom Hanson #2: Hammered.
Off. Doug Penhall: Pickled.
Off. Tom Hanson #2: To the gills.
TV Show: 21 Jump Street
Ronnie Seebok: You could end up dead, man... [with gun pointed to Hanson's face]
Off. Tom Hanson #2: Hey Ronnie. The safety's on the left, man. You ought to take it off if you want to threaten somebody.
Ronnie Seebok: Safety don't work, man. Never did.
TV Show: 21 Jump Street
Busdriver: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Where's your bus pass?
Off. Doug Penhall: [as Doug McQuaid] My dog ate it.
Off. Tom Hanson #2: [as Tommy McQuaid] I got the same dog.
TV Show: 21 Jump Street
Captain Dickson: Hey, hey! Stop fuckin' with Korean Jesus. He ain't got time for yo problems, he's busy wit Korean shit!
Movie: 21 Jump Street
Jenko: One particle of unobtainium has a nuclear reaction with the flux capacitor - carry the '2' - changing its atomic isotoner into a radioactive spider. Fuck you, Science!
Movie: 21 Jump Street
[to a handcuffed Domingo]Jenko: You have the right to... [forgets the Miranda rights]
Jenko: ... suck my dick, motherfucker!
Jenko: ... suck my dick, motherfucker!
Movie: 21 Jump Street
Captain Dickson: He's white, that means people actually give shit.
Schmidt: Um, I would just like to say that I would give a shit if he were black.
Schmidt: Um, I would just like to say that I would give a shit if he were black.
Movie: 21 Jump Street
Deputy Chief Hardy: Do you even know the Miranda rights?
Jenko: It obviously starts with... you have the right to... remain an attorney...
Deputy Chief Hardy: Did you just say you have the right to be an attorney?
Schmidt: Well, you do have the right to be an attorney if you want to...
Jenko: It obviously starts with... you have the right to... remain an attorney...
Deputy Chief Hardy: Did you just say you have the right to be an attorney?
Schmidt: Well, you do have the right to be an attorney if you want to...
Movie: 21 Jump Street
Deputy Chief Hardy: We're reviving a canceled undercover police program from the '80s and revamping it for modern times. You see the guys in charge of this stuff lack creativity and are completely out of ideas, so all they do now is recycle shit from the past and expect us all not to notice.
Movie: 21 Jump Street
[last lines]Captain Dickson: New assignment. Since you two cowboys love to drink booze, smoke weed with kids, and fuck anything with a big ass in jeans with low self-esteem, I'm gonna send you to a place where all that shit is allowed.
Jenko: Oh, I love Disneyland!
Captain Dickson: You two sons of bitches are going to college!
Schmidt: Yes!
Jenko: No!
Jenko: Oh, I love Disneyland!
Captain Dickson: You two sons of bitches are going to college!
Schmidt: Yes!
Jenko: No!
Movie: 21 Jump Street
Jenko: [while passing different cliques]Those are jocks, those are nerds... [passes hipsters]
Jenko: I don't know what those are...
Schmidt: What the fuck are those things?
Jenko: I don't know what those are...
Schmidt: What the fuck are those things?
Movie: 21 Jump Street
Captain Dickson: [going over the rule of not having sexual relations with teachers or students; to Jenko]That's you, man. Don't do it. Keep that dirty dick inside your pants. Don't fuck no students, don't fuck no teachers...
Schmidt: Sir, I know we may look like a couple of lady-killers, but me and my partner will be super professional...
Captain Dickson: Clearly I wasn't talking to you, big-titties. You cherub-looking motherfucker. I was talking to your partner, fake-ass Handsome McGee here. When I'm talking to him, I'm talking to him. When I say shut the fuck up, I'm talking to you.
Schmidt: Sir, I know we may look like a couple of lady-killers, but me and my partner will be super professional...
Captain Dickson: Clearly I wasn't talking to you, big-titties. You cherub-looking motherfucker. I was talking to your partner, fake-ass Handsome McGee here. When I'm talking to him, I'm talking to him. When I say shut the fuck up, I'm talking to you.
Movie: 21 Jump Street
Eric Molson: You know what they do to handsome guy like me in prison. It Rhymes with GRAPE. It Rhymes with grape.
Movie: 21 Jump Street
Zack: You look really old. Were you held back?
Jenko: No. You look super young, were you held forward?
Jenko: No. You look super young, were you held forward?
Movie: 21 Jump Street