Woody Allen Quotes

Woody Allen Quotes. Below is a collection of famous Woody Allen quotes. Here you can find the most popular and greatest quotes by Woody Allen. Share these quotations with your friends and family.

The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

By Woody Allen

Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.

By Woody Allen

Should I marry W. Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name.

By Woody Allen

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it

By Woody Allen

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

By Woody Allen

Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get between the right man and the right woman

By Woody Allen

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

By Woody Allen

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.

By Woody Allen

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

By Woody Allen

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.

By Woody Allen

Nothing worth knowing can be understood with the mind.

By Woody Allen

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday

By Woody Allen

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.

By Woody Allen

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

By Woody Allen

My Lord, my Lord! What hast Thou done, lately?

By Woody Allen

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.

By Woody Allen

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons

By Woody Allen

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.

By Woody Allen

More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly

By Woody Allen

More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly.

By Woody Allen

More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to utter hopelessness and despair, the other to total extinction. Let us hope we have the wisdom to choose correctly.

By Woody Allen

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.

By Woody Allen

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions

By Woody Allen

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.

By Woody Allen

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.

By Woody Allen

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

By Woody Allen

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

By Woody Allen

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off.

By Woody Allen

Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought -- particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.

By Woody Allen

Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought-- particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.

By Woody Allen