Woody Allen Quotes

Woody Allen Quotes. Below is a collection of famous Woody Allen quotes. Here you can find the most popular and greatest quotes by Woody Allen. Share these quotations with your friends and family.

Mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to extinction. Let us pray we choose correctly.
By Woody Allen
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Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exception of a moose singing Embraceable You in spats.
By Woody Allen
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A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
By Woody Allen
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You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
By Woody Allen
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Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered
By Woody Allen
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Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
By Woody Allen
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Whosoever shall not fall by the sword or by famine, shall fall by pestilence so why bother shaving?
By Woody Allen
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Whosoever shall not fall by the sword or by famine, shall fall by pestilence, so why bother shaving?
By Woody Allen
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Whosover loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird.
By Woody Allen
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When I was in school, I cheated on my metaphysics exam I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
By Woody Allen
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When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
By Woody Allen
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What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
By Woody Allen
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What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists
By Woody Allen
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We were married by a reformed rabbi in Long Island. A very reformed rabbi. A Nazi.
By Woody Allen
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To you I'm an atheist to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
By Woody Allen
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Thought: why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only for food: frequently there must be a beverage.
By Woody Allen
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Thought Why does man kill He kills for food. And not only food frequently there must be a beverage.
By Woody Allen
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Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
By Woody Allen
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There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open? by
By Woody Allen
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There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman
By Woody Allen
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There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
By Woody Allen
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There are three rings involved with marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.
By Woody Allen
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The wicked at heart probably know something.
By Woody Allen
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The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
By Woody Allen
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The great roe is a mythological beast with the head of a lion and the body of a lion, though not the same lion.
By Woody Allen
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The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more
By Woody Allen
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The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more.
By Woody Allen
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The good thing about being bisexual is that it doubles your chance of a date on a Saturday night
By Woody Allen
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The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5'7, it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone.
By Woody Allen
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The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you
By Woody Allen
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