Mark Twain Quotes

Mark Twain Quotes. Below is a collection of famous Mark Twain quotes. Here you can find the most popular and greatest quotes by Mark Twain. Share these quotations with your friends and family.

When you cannot get a compliment any other way pay yourself one.

By Mark Twain
When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat.

By Mark Twain
When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.

By Mark Twain
When red-haired people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn.

By Mark Twain
When the human race has once acquired a supersitition nothing short of death is ever likely to remove it

By Mark Twain
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

By Mark Twain
When I was a child people simply looked about them and were moderately happy today they peer beyond the seven seas, bury themselves waist deep in tidings, and by and large what they see and hear makes them unutterably sad.

By Mark Twain
When in doubt tell the truth.

By Mark Twain
When in doubt, tell the truth.

By Mark Twain
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.

By Mark Twain
When I was fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have him around. When I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.

By Mark Twain
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not

By Mark Twain
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

By Mark Twain
When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people.

By Mark Twain
What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce.

By Mark Twain
What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce.

By Mark Twain
What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light

By Mark Twain
What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.

By Mark Twain
What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself.

By Mark Twain
What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight, what counts is the size of the fight in the dog.

By Mark Twain
Well enough for old folks to rise early, because they have done so many mean things all their lives they can't sleep anyhow

By Mark Twain
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it--and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit on a hot stove lid again--and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.

By Mark Twain
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stop there lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again - and that is well but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.

By Mark Twain
We owe a deep debt of gratitude to Adam, the first great benefactor of the human race: he brought death into the world.

By Mark Twain
We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world and its efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read.

By Mark Twain
We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.

By Mark Twain
We are always too busy for our children; we never give them the time or interest they deserve. We lavish gifts upon them; but the most precious gift, our personal association, which means so much to them, we give grudgingly.

By Mark Twain
We are called the nation of inventors. And we are. We could still claim that title and wear its loftiest honors if we had stopped with the first thing we ever invented, which was human liberty.

By Mark Twain
We are discreet sheep; we wait to see how the drove is going, and then go with the drove

By Mark Twain
We all have thoughts that would shame the devil.

By Mark Twain