Mark Twain Quotes | Quotesoup

I cannot keep from talking, even at the risk of being instructive.

By Mark Twain

I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey

By Mark Twain

I can live two months on a good compliment.

By Mark Twain

I am not one of those who in expressing opinions confine themselves to facts.

By Mark Twain

I am prepared to meet anyone, but whether anyone is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

By Mark Twain

I am an old man and have a great many troubles, But most of them never happened.

By Mark Twain

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.

By Mark Twain

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.

By Mark Twain

Humour is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.

By Mark Twain

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

By Mark Twain

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritation and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place

By Mark Twain

I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.

By Mark Twain

How come we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.

By Mark Twain

How little a thing can make us happy when we feel that we have earned it.

By Mark Twain

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

By Mark Twain

Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.

By Mark Twain

His ignorance covered the whole earth like a blanket, and there was hardly a hole in it anywhere.

By Mark Twain

His ignorance covers the world like a blanket, and there's scarcely a hole in it anywhere.

By Mark Twain

He would come in and say he changed his mind -- which was a gilded figure of speech, because he didn't have any.

By Mark Twain

He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.

By Mark Twain

He is now rising from affluence to poverty.

By Mark Twain

He is useless on top of the ground; he aught to be under it, inspiring the cabbages.

By Mark Twain

He had discovered a great law of human action, without knowing it - namely, that in order to make a man or a boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to obtain.

By Mark Twain

Happiness is a Swedish sunset; it is there for all, but most of us look the other way and lose it

By Mark Twain

Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.

By Mark Twain

Had double chins all the way down to his stomach.

By Mark Twain

Great people are those who make others feel that they, too, can become great.

By Mark Twain

Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.

By Mark Twain

Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.

By Mark Twain

Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with

By Mark Twain