Henny Youngman Quotes. Below is a collection of famous Henny Youngman quotes. Here you can find the most popular and greatest quotes by Henny Youngman. Share these quotations with your friends and family.
Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.
By Henny Youngman
Three weeks ago, she learned how to drive. Last week she learned how to aim it.
By Henny Youngman
Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.
By Henny Youngman
Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
By Henny Youngman
Was that suit made to order? Where were you at the time?
By Henny Youngman
Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
By Henny Youngman
Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
By Henny Youngman
Why does the New Italian navy have glass bottom boats? To see the Old Italian Navy!
By Henny Youngman
Why don't Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.
By Henny Youngman
You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.
By Henny Youngman
You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler.
By Henny Youngman
