Z-Listers Quotes

Edward the Bastard: Piss off big bang!

Movie: Z-Listers
Frank Baker: I've not gone senile, you stupid little twat!

Movie: Z-Listers
Ellie Finch: Your manager was nice
Chris Baker: My manager's a dick, is what my manager is!

Movie: Z-Listers
Chris Baker: She's like my sister, and you don't go messing around with other people's metaphorical sisters. Do you understand that?

Movie: Z-Listers
[from trailer] Peter - BBC Executive: Do you know why you're here, Mr. Baker?
Chris Baker: Well, yeah, you're making another Doctor Who series and you want me to be involved in it...
Peter - BBC Executive: Absolutely not.
Chris Baker: You're not making a Doctor Who movie and you want me to be in it, do you?
Peter - BBC Executive: No.
Chris Baker: ...chat-show?

Movie: Z-Listers
Chris Baker: Hello mate, you alright?
Edward the Bastard: Never you mind mate, where's the money you owe me eh? I tried calling you eight times this week, and you still haven't replied!
Chris Baker: I've got phone problems, my phone...
Edward the Bastard: If I don't get my money soon, then you'll have to sign those pretty pictures with broken fingers! Plus, you owe me an extra tenner.
Chris Baker: An extra tenner? How did that happen?
Edward the Bastard: Cause that's what I had to pay to get into this virgin-filled-wank fest!

Movie: Z-Listers
Ellie Finch: Oh my god!
Chris Baker: What?
Ellie Finch: Johnny Depp!
Chris Baker: Where?
Ellie Finch: Over there! You did not tell me that he was gonna be there!
Chris Baker: Alright, calm down wet-puss! Yeah, he comes to these things all the time, Johnny Depp yeah... [sarcastically]
Chris Baker: Brad Pitt's over there, do you wanna speak to him too?

Movie: Z-Listers
The Compere: Hey there big fella, do you mind keeping it down a bit? Cause you're making everyone a bit nervous...
Edward the Bastard: Do you think I care? I want to speak to my good pal Chris!
The Compere: Great, fantastic. Thing is he's currently at work at the moment. So if you wanna come back next year, we got some fantastic stuff lined up, and you can follow us on Facebook, see what else we're doing...
Edward the Bastard: You trying to kick me out?
The Compere: Errr... No! No, course not!
Edward the Bastard: No? Seems like you were!
The Compere: Okay, I've tried to be nice. But if you don't leave the room by the time I count to three, then I'm going to have to calls security. I don't wanna do that but... [starts counting]
The Compere: One, two [Edward gets close to the Compere]
The Compere: ... two point five?

Movie: Z-Listers
Chris Baker: [about Finn]He will fuck anything with two tits. It's true. No offence.

Movie: Z-Listers
Chris Baker: Is it me or is it hot in here? I'm sweating like Jimmy Savile in a children's ward.

Movie: Z-Listers