WarGames Quotes

David Lightman: People sometimes make mistakes.
Joshua: Yes, they do.

Movie: WarGames
David Lightman: [typing] What is the primary goal?
Joshua: You should know, Professor. You programmed me.
David Lightman: Oh, come on.
David Lightman: [typing] What is the primary goal?
Joshua: To win the game.

Movie: WarGames
General Beringer: Mr. McKittrick, after very careful consideration, sir, I've come to the conclusion that your new defense system sucks.
McKittrick: I don't have to take that, you pig-eyed sack of ****.
General Beringer: Oh, I was hoping for something a little better than that from you, sir. A man of your education.

Movie: WarGames
General Beringer: Gentlemen, I wouldn't trust this overgrown pile of microchips any further than I can throw it.

Movie: WarGames
General Beringer: Goddammit, I'd piss on a spark plug if I thought it'd do any good!

Movie: WarGames
Stephen Falken: What you see on these screens up here is a fantasy; a computer enhanced hallucination!

Movie: WarGames
[after playing out all possible outcomes for Global Thermonuclear War]
Joshua: Greetings, Professor Falken.
Stephen Falken: Hello, Joshua.
Joshua: A strange game. The only winning move is not to play. How about a nice game of chess?

TV Show: WarGames
[David and Jennifer attempt to find a way to get off Professor Falken's island to prevent NORAD from launching a nuclear attack]
David Lightman: I think I saw one... [runs ahead for a moment and stops]
David Lightman: What kind of an asshole lives on an island and he doesn't even have a boat?
Jennifer: Maybe we can swim for it. How far do you think it is?
David Lightman: No. It's uh, two, three miles at least. Maybe more.
Jennifer: Well, what do you say? Let's go for it!
David Lightman: No.
Jennifer: [starts to remove her shoe] Come on!
David Lightman: No! [pause]
David Lightman: I can't swim.
Jennifer: You can't swim?
David Lightman: No, I can't, okay? Wonder Woman, I can't swim!
Jennifer: Well, what kind of an asshole grows up in Seattle and doesn't even know how to swim?
David Lightman: I never got around to it, okay? I always thought there was gonna be plenty of time!
Jennifer: Sorry.
David Lightman: I wish I didn't know about any of this! I wish I was like everybody else in the world, and tomorrow it would just be over. There wouldn't be any time to be sorry... about anything.
David Lightman: [sits on a large piece of driftwood] Oh, Jesus! I really wanted to learn how to swim! I swear to God I did.

TV Show: WarGames
[last lines]
General Beringer: Colonel, take us to DEFCON five.

TV Show: WarGames
[They are in NORAD, watching the computer WOPR playing Tic-Tac-Toe and Global Thermonuclear War at the same time]
Jennifer: What is it doing?
David Lightman: It's learning.

TV Show: WarGames

David Lightman: [to Joshua] Come on. Learn, goddammit.

TV Show: WarGames

David Lightman: [typing] Is this a game... or is it real?
Joshua: What's the difference?
David Lightman: [muttering] Oh wow.
Joshua: You are a hard man to reach. Could not find you in Seattle and no terminal is in operation at your classified address.
David Lightman: [typing] What classified address?
Joshua: D.O.D. pension files indicate current mailing as: Dr. Robert Hume, a.k.a. Stephen W. Falken, 5 Tall Cedar Road, Goose Island, Oregon 97...

TV Show: WarGames

David Lightman: [typing] People sometimes make mistakes.
Joshua: Yes, they do.

TV Show: WarGames

David Lightman: [typing] What is the primary goal?
Joshua: You should know, Professor. You programmed me.
David Lightman: Oh, come on.
David Lightman: [typing] What is the primary goal?
Joshua: To win the game.

TV Show: WarGames

David Lightman: Hey, I don't believe that any system is totally secure.

TV Show: WarGames

David Lightman: Joshua called me.
McKittrick: [incredulous] David, computers don't call people!
David Lightman: [shrugs] Yours did.

TV Show: WarGames

David Lightman: This is unreal! You don't care about death 'cause you're already dead! I know a lot about you. I know you weren't always like this. What was the last thing you cared about?

TV Show: WarGames

1st Lieutenant Steve Phelps: Seven... Eight... Nine... Ten... All missiles enabled.
Computer Voice: T-minus thirty.
Captain Jerry Lawson: Get me Wing Command post on your direct line.
1st Lieutenant Steve Phelps: That's not the correct procedure, Captain.
Captain Jerry Lawson: SAC? Try SAC on the HF.
1st Lieutenant Steve Phelps: That's not the correct procedure...
Captain Jerry Lawson: Screw the procedure, I want somebody on the goddamn phone before I kill 20 million people!
Computer Voice: T-minus twenty. [LT Phelps tries the phone lines]
1st Lieutenant Steve Phelps: I got nothing here! They might've been knocked out already.
Captain Jerry Lawson: Right... On my mark, rotate launch keys to Launch.
1st Lieutenant Steve Phelps: Roger. Ready to go to launch.
Captain Jerry Lawson: Thirteen... twelve... eleven...
Computer Voice: [CAPT Lawson takes his hand off the key] Seven... six... five... four...
1st Lieutenant Steve Phelps: Sir, we have a launch order. Put your hand on your key, sir!
Captain Jerry Lawson: [softly] I'm sorry...
Computer Voice: Two... one... Launch!
1st Lieutenant Steve Phelps: [pulls out his sidearm and aims at CAPT Lawson] Sir, we are at launch, turn your key!
Captain Jerry Lawson: I'm sorry.
1st Lieutenant Steve Phelps: [cocks his sidearm] Turn your key, sir!

TV Show: WarGames

Jennifer: He wasn't very old.
David Lightman: No, he was pretty old. He was 41.
Jennifer: Oh yeah? Oh, that's old.

TV Show: WarGames

McKittrick: [McKittrick approaches Falken's group on stairs] I don't know what you think you can do here, Stephen.
Stephen Falken: [suddenly noticing] John! Good to see you. I see the wife still picks your ties.
McKittrick: What is- What has this kid been telling you?
Stephen Falken: [looking at screens] How far's he gone?
McKittrick: Well the President about ready to order a counterstrike. That's what we're recommending he do.
Stephen Falken: It's a bluff, John, call it off.
McKittrick: No, it's not a bluff. It's real.
Stephen Falken: [raising his voice from stairs] Hello, General Beringer! Stephen Falken!
General Beringer: [standing] Mr. Falken you picked a hell of a day for a visit!
Stephen Falken: Uh, uh, General, what you see on these screens up here is a fantasy; a computer-enhanced hallucination. Those blips are not real missiles. They're phantoms.
McKittrick: [McKittrick approaches Beringer] Jack, there's nothing to indicate a simulation at all. Everything is working perfectly!
Stephen Falken: But does it make any sense?
General Beringer: Does what make any sense?
Stephen Falken: [points to the screens] That!
General Beringer: Look, I don't have time for a conversation right now.
Stephen Falken: [Falken speaks as he approaches] General, are you prepared to destroy the enemy?
General Beringer: You betcha!
Stephen Falken: Do you think they know that?
General Beringer: I believe we've made that clear enough.
Stephen Falken: [face to face] Then don't! Tell the President to ride out the attack.
Colonel Joe Conley: Sir, they need a decision.
Stephen Falken:

TV Show: WarGames

McKittrick: Excuse me, sir. We can't send these men back to the President of the United States with a lot of head-shrinker horseshit!

TV Show: WarGames

McKittrick: General, the machine has locked us out. It's sending random numbers to the silos.
Pat Healy: Codes. To launch the missiles.
General Beringer: Just unplug the goddamn thing! Jesus Christ!
McKittrick: That won't work, General. It would interpret a shutdown as the destruction of NORAD. The computers in the silos would carry out their last instructions. They'd launch.
General Beringer: Can't we disarm the missiles?
Pat Healy: Over a thousand of them? There's no time. At this rate it will hit the launch codes in... 5.3 minutes.
General Beringer: [smiles sarcastically at McKittrick] Mr. McKittrick, after very careful consideration, sir, I've come to the conclusion that your new defense system sucks.
McKittrick: I don't have to take that, you pig-eyed sack of shit.
General Beringer: Oh, I was hoping for something a little better than that from you, sir. A man of your education.
Major Lem: [holding a telephone] General, it's the president.
McKittrick: What are you... what are you going to tell him?
General Beringer: I'm ordering our bombers back to fail-safe. We might have to go through this thing after all.

TV Show: WarGames

McKittrick: It might help to beef up security around the W.O.P.R.

TV Show: WarGames

McKittrick: See that sign up here - up here. "Defcon." That indicates our current defense condition. It should read "Defcon 5," which means peace. It's still on 4 because of that little stunt you pulled. Actually, if we hadn't caught it in time, it might have gone to Defcon 1. You know what that means, David?
David Lightman: No. What does that mean?
McKittrick: World War Three.

TV Show: WarGames

Jim Sting: Remember you told me to tell you when you were acting rudely and insensitively? Remember that? You're doing it right now.

TV Show: WarGames

Joshua: Shall we play a game?
David Lightman: Oh!
Jennifer: [giggles] I think it missed him.
David Lightman: Yeah. Weird isn't it?
Jennifer: Yeah.
David Lightman: [typing] Love to. How about Global Thermonuclear War?
Joshua: Wouldn't you prefer a nice game of chess? [Jennifer laughs]
David Lightman: [typing] Later. Let's play Global Thermonuclear War.
Joshua: Fine.

TV Show: WarGames

Joshua: Which side do you want?
David Lightman: [Looks at Jennifer] I'll be the Russians.

TV Show: WarGames

Captain Knewt: Punch up number five, let me see what you have.
Radar Analyst Kirkland: Yes, sir. [flips a switch; a map of Soviet submarine deployments appears on screen]
Radar Analyst Kirkland: Twenty-two Typhoon-class submarines departing Petropavlovsk, turning south-bound at Nordkapp. Bearing: zero-nine-*five* degrees.
Captain Knewt: Sergeant, I hope you like vodka.
Radar Analyst Kirkland: Yes, sir. I just hope they don't make me eat none of them damn fish eggs.
Major Daves: [hands General Beringer a report] Sir, the Soviets are denying any increase in their submarine deployment. They want to know what the hell we're doing provoking them.
General Beringer: They're full of shit. We know they're down there. We'll blow their ass out of the water.

TV Show: WarGames

Mr. Liggett: Now there seems to be a lot of confusion on this next question: asexual reproduction. Could someone tell me please who first suggested the idea of reproduction without sex?
David Lightman: Ah-heh. [whispers something to a classmate]
Jennifer: [overhearing, Jennifer starts to laugh]
Mr. Liggett: [turns around and sees Jennifer giggling] Miss Mack! What is so amusing?
Jennifer: I... [Jennifer breaks up into laughter again and turns to look at David, who puts on a show of mock innocence]
Mr. Liggett: Alright, Lightman. Maybe you could tell us who first suggested the idea of reproduction without sex.
David Lightman: Umm... Your wife? [the class erupts into laughter]
Mr. Liggett: [pointing to the door] Get out, Lightman. Get out.

TV Show: WarGames

Mr. Lightman: This corn is raw!
Mrs. Lightman: I know, isn't it wonderful? It's so crisp!
Mr. Lightman: Of course it's crisp! It's raw!
Mrs. Lightman: No, it's terrific. You can just taste the Vitamin A and E in here. It's great.
Mr. Lightman: Could we have pills and cook the corn?

TV Show: WarGames