The X Files Quotes
Byers: Langly couldn't join us. He has a philosophical aversion to having his image bounced off a satellite.
TV Show: The X-Files
Mulder: I could be mistaken. Maybe it was another bald-headed, jigsaw-puzzle-tattooed, naked guy I saw.
TV Show: The X-Files
Mulder: (Upon being told that Dr. Blockhead could make his testicles shrivel up inside him) Oh, mine are doing that as we speak.
TV Show: The X-Files
Mulder: I got the impression that Glazebrook wasn't the only sideshow performer residing here.
TV Show: The X-Files
Hepcat Helm: Who are the rubes?
Sheriff Hamilton: These are FBI agents Scully and Mulder. This is Hepcat Helm, he operates a carnival funhouse.
Hepcat Helm: Oh man, how many times have I told you not to call it that. It's not some rinky dink carny ride. People go through it, they don't have fun, they get the hell scared out of them. It's not a funhouse, it's a tabernacle of terror.
Sheriff Hamilton: It's a funhouse.
Sheriff Hamilton: These are FBI agents Scully and Mulder. This is Hepcat Helm, he operates a carnival funhouse.
Hepcat Helm: Oh man, how many times have I told you not to call it that. It's not some rinky dink carny ride. People go through it, they don't have fun, they get the hell scared out of them. It's not a funhouse, it's a tabernacle of terror.
Sheriff Hamilton: It's a funhouse.
TV Show: The X-Files
Mulder: Tell me, have you done much circus work in your life?
Mr. Nut: And what makes you think I've ever spectated a circus? Much less been enslaved by one?
Mulder: I know that many of the citizens here are former circus hands, and I just thought that...
Mr. Nut: You thought that because I am a person of short stature, that the only career I could procure for myself would be one confined to the so-called 'Big Top'. You took one quick look at me, and decided that you could deduce my entire life. Never would it have occurred to you that a person of my height could have possibly obtained a degree in Hotel Management.
Mulder: I'm sorry. I meant no offence.
Mr. Nut: Well then why should I take offence? Just because it's human nature to make instantaneous judgements of others based solely upon their physical appearances? Why I've done the same thing to you, for example. I've taken in your all-American features, your dour demeanour, your unimaginative necktie design, and concluded that you work for the government; an FBI agent... but do you see the tragedy here? I have mistakenly deduced you to a stereotype. A caricature, instead of regarding you as a specific, unique individual.
Mulder: But I am an FBI agent.
Mr. Nut: And what makes you think I've ever spectated a circus? Much less been enslaved by one?
Mulder: I know that many of the citizens here are former circus hands, and I just thought that...
Mr. Nut: You thought that because I am a person of short stature, that the only career I could procure for myself would be one confined to the so-called 'Big Top'. You took one quick look at me, and decided that you could deduce my entire life. Never would it have occurred to you that a person of my height could have possibly obtained a degree in Hotel Management.
Mulder: I'm sorry. I meant no offence.
Mr. Nut: Well then why should I take offence? Just because it's human nature to make instantaneous judgements of others based solely upon their physical appearances? Why I've done the same thing to you, for example. I've taken in your all-American features, your dour demeanour, your unimaginative necktie design, and concluded that you work for the government; an FBI agent... but do you see the tragedy here? I have mistakenly deduced you to a stereotype. A caricature, instead of regarding you as a specific, unique individual.
Mulder: But I am an FBI agent.
TV Show: The X-Files
Lenny: Mr. Nut, the kind-hearted manager here, convinced me that to make a living by publicly displaying my deformity lacked dignity. So... now I carry other people's luggage. I believe these are your trailers; if they are not... then I am wrong.
[Mulder takes the suitcases from Lenny and tips him]
Lenny: Oh, that's most considerate. Thank you very much.
[Mulder shows Scully that he still has the tip in his hand]
Lenny: Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite. No, no, that's... that's not what I meant... I... I didn't mean to imply that we had bedbugs... I... I meant to say don't let... don't let the...
Mulder: The 'Fiji Mermaids' bite?
Lenny: Yes, that's right... The 'Fiji Mermaids'...
[Mulder takes the suitcases from Lenny and tips him]
Lenny: Oh, that's most considerate. Thank you very much.
[Mulder shows Scully that he still has the tip in his hand]
Lenny: Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite. No, no, that's... that's not what I meant... I... I didn't mean to imply that we had bedbugs... I... I meant to say don't let... don't let the...
Mulder: The 'Fiji Mermaids' bite?
Lenny: Yes, that's right... The 'Fiji Mermaids'...
TV Show: The X-Files
[Mulder and Scully watch as Dr. Blockhead hammers a long nail up his nose]
Mulder: Have you ever performed this... act on anyone else?
Dr. Blockhead: What, are you sick? I tell my audiences that if they're stupid enough to try this on themselves they'll end up with a slight lobotomy. I am a professional.
Mulder: Exactly how does one become a professional blockhead?
Mulder: Have you ever performed this... act on anyone else?
Dr. Blockhead: What, are you sick? I tell my audiences that if they're stupid enough to try this on themselves they'll end up with a slight lobotomy. I am a professional.
Mulder: Exactly how does one become a professional blockhead?
TV Show: The X-Files
Sheriff Hamilton: [to Scully] Are you sure it was the brother you saw? Maybe it was the Fiji Mermaid who jumped in the sea and swam back to Fiji.
Mulder: [to Scully] Now you know how I feel.
Mulder: [to Scully] Now you know how I feel.
TV Show: The X-Files
Skinner: For every step you take they're three steps ahead.
Mulder: What about you, where do you stand?
Skinner: I stand right on the line you keep crossing.
Mulder: What about you, where do you stand?
Skinner: I stand right on the line you keep crossing.
TV Show: The X-Files
Scully: According to the briefing, the prisoners escaped while hiding in a laundry cart.
Mulder: I don't think the guards have been watching enough prison movies.
Mulder: I don't think the guards have been watching enough prison movies.
TV Show: The X-Files
Scully: There's no sign of him, Mulder. Maybe he's moved on. What are you looking at?
Mulder: On the videotape, Dr. Banton kept staring at the floor. I've been trying to figure out what he might have been looking at.
Scully: Well, maybe the exposure affected his mind. Nonsensical repetitive behavior is a common trait of mental illness.
Mulder: You trying to tell me something?
Mulder: On the videotape, Dr. Banton kept staring at the floor. I've been trying to figure out what he might have been looking at.
Scully: Well, maybe the exposure affected his mind. Nonsensical repetitive behavior is a common trait of mental illness.
Mulder: You trying to tell me something?
TV Show: The X-Files
Mulder: He believes the government is out to get him.
Mr. X: It's tax season - so do most Americans.
Mr. X: It's tax season - so do most Americans.
TV Show: The X-Files
Frohike: I don't think we've been followed.
Mulder: Who would follow you?
Byers: Multinational black ops unit. Code name Garnett.
Langly: Trained killers. School of the American Alumni.
Mulder: Have you boys been defacing library books again?
Mulder: Who would follow you?
Byers: Multinational black ops unit. Code name Garnett.
Langly: Trained killers. School of the American Alumni.
Mulder: Have you boys been defacing library books again?
TV Show: The X-Files
Albert Hosteen: [Intro narration] There is an ancient Indian saying that something lives only as long as the last person who remembers it. My people have come to trust memory over history. Memory, like fire, is radiant and immutable while history serves only those who seek to control it, those who douse the flame of memory in order to put out the dangerous fire of truth. Beware these men for they are dangerous themselves and unwise. Their false history is written in the blood of those who might remember and of those who seek the truth.
TV Show: The X-Files
Deep Throat: [standing over an unconscious Mulder] I was first struck by the absence of time, having depended on it so completely as a measure of myself and my life. Moving backwards into the perpetual night - it consumes purpose, indeed, all passion and will. I come to you, old friend, with the dull clarity of the dead, not to beckon, you but to feel the fire and intensity that still live in you... and the heavy weight of your burdens which I had once borne. There is truth you know, friend, if that's all you seek, but there's no justice or judgment, without which truth is a vast... dead... hollow. Go back. Do not look into the abyss or let the abyss look into you; awaken the sleep of reason and fight the monsters within and without.
TV Show: The X-Files
Frohike: He was a good friend. A redwood among mere sprouts. I guess this means he's passing you the torch?
Scully: Uh, I'm afraid not. I'm soon to be out of a job.
Frohike: Those sons of bitches! They're rigging the game.
Scully: And like rats they just scatter back into the wood pile.
Frohike: The rats that killed the cat.
Scully: Uh, I'm afraid not. I'm soon to be out of a job.
Frohike: Those sons of bitches! They're rigging the game.
Scully: And like rats they just scatter back into the wood pile.
Frohike: The rats that killed the cat.
TV Show: The X-Files
Well Manicured Man: We predict the future. And the best way to predict it, is to invent it.
TV Show: The X-Files
William Mulder: Hello, son. I did not dare hope to see you so soon, nor ever again hope to broker fate with a life to which I gave life. The lies I told you were a pox and poison to my soul, and now you are here because of them. Lies I thought might bury forever a truth I could not live with. I stand here ashamed of the choices I made so long ago when you were just a boy. You are the memory, Fox. It lives in you. If you were to die now, the truth will die. And only the lies survive us.
TV Show: The X-Files
Scully: I went to your father's funeral. I told your mother that you were going to be okay.
Mulder: How did you know?
Scully: I just knew.
Mulder: How did you know?
Scully: I just knew.
TV Show: The X-Files
Scully: I need something to put my back up against, Mulder.
Mulder: I know. I feel the same way. I feel that we've lost so much... but we've got The X-Files, and I believe what we're looking for is in them. I'm more certain than ever the truth is out there, Scully.
Scully: I've heard the truth, Mulder. Now what I want are the answers.
Mulder: I know. I feel the same way. I feel that we've lost so much... but we've got The X-Files, and I believe what we're looking for is in them. I'm more certain than ever the truth is out there, Scully.
Scully: I've heard the truth, Mulder. Now what I want are the answers.
TV Show: The X-Files
The Cigarette Smoking Man: What is this?
Skinner: This is where you pucker up and kiss my ass!
The Cigarette Smoking Man: Listen -
Skinner: (Interrupting) Now, you listen to me, you son of a bitch! This man's name is Albert Hosteen. You should remember that. Because if Agents Mulder and Scully come down with so much as a case of the flu, Albert is prepared to recite, chapter and verse, file for file, everything on your precious tape.
The Cigarette Smoking Man: It's a nice try, Skinner.
Skinner: I'm sure you're thinking Albert is an old man and there are plenty of ways you might kill him too. Which is why, in the ancient oral tradition of his people, he's told twenty other men the information on those files. So unless you kill every Navajo living in four states... that information is available with a simple phone call. (Smirks) Welcome to the wonderful world of high technology
Skinner: This is where you pucker up and kiss my ass!
The Cigarette Smoking Man: Listen -
Skinner: (Interrupting) Now, you listen to me, you son of a bitch! This man's name is Albert Hosteen. You should remember that. Because if Agents Mulder and Scully come down with so much as a case of the flu, Albert is prepared to recite, chapter and verse, file for file, everything on your precious tape.
The Cigarette Smoking Man: It's a nice try, Skinner.
Skinner: I'm sure you're thinking Albert is an old man and there are plenty of ways you might kill him too. Which is why, in the ancient oral tradition of his people, he's told twenty other men the information on those files. So unless you kill every Navajo living in four states... that information is available with a simple phone call. (Smirks) Welcome to the wonderful world of high technology
TV Show: The X-Files
Scully: So, what are we supposed to charge him with, 'assaulting a cellular phone'?
TV Show: The X-Files
Clyde Bruckman: You know, there are worse ways to go, but I can't think of a more undignified way than autoerotic asphyxiation.
Mulder: Why are you telling me that?
Clyde Bruckman: Look, forget I mentioned it. It's none of my business.
Mulder: Why are you telling me that?
Clyde Bruckman: Look, forget I mentioned it. It's none of my business.
TV Show: The X-Files
Clyde Bruckman: You're looking down. You stepped in a pie that's fallen to the floor. The killer comes up to you and... coconut cream.
Mulder: What?
Clyde Bruckman: The pie... eh, coconut cream, or, is it lemon meringue? I don't know, it's... not sure, it's, it's hazy. As long as you're looking down, he comes up with the knife and... banana cream! Definitely banana cream.
Mulder: What?
Clyde Bruckman: The pie... eh, coconut cream, or, is it lemon meringue? I don't know, it's... not sure, it's, it's hazy. As long as you're looking down, he comes up with the knife and... banana cream! Definitely banana cream.
TV Show: The X-Files
Mulder: Ok, but imagine if it was true, Scully. Imagine if you can come back [from the dead] and take out five people, who caused you to suffer. Who whould they be?
Scully: I only get five?
Mulder: [looks up at her] I've remembered your birthday this year, didn't I, Scully?
Scully: I only get five?
Mulder: [looks up at her] I've remembered your birthday this year, didn't I, Scully?
TV Show: The X-Files