The Simpsons Movie Quotes

Bart Simpson: [on the blackboard, in the open sequence] I will not illegally download this movie.

Movie: The Simpsons Movie
Chief Wiggum: [sees Fat Tony and his mobsters dragging a body wrapped in a sheet to the lake] Uh sorry, sorry, no dumping in the lake!
Fat Tony: Fine, I will put my *yard trimmings* in a car compactor. [he and the mobsters walk off with the body]
Lou: Uh, Chief, I think there was a dead body in there.
Chief Wiggum: I thought that too, until he said yard trimmings. You gotta learn to listen, Lou.

Movie: The Simpsons Movie
Colin: I'm Colin.
Lisa Simpson: I haven't seen you at school
Colin: Just moved from Ireland. My dad's a musician.
Lisa Simpson: Is he...?
Colin: He's not Bono.
Lisa Simpson: I just thought because you're Irish and you care about...
Colin: He's NOT Bono.

Movie: The Simpsons Movie
Homer Simpson: I've always been afraid I'd screw up our lives so bad that I've had to come up with a back-up plan. And that plan is right here! [Pulls out wallet; takes out Monopoly "Get Out Of Jail Free" card]
Homer Simpson: No. [Takes out photo of Michael Jordan with his face taped over it]
Homer Simpson: No. [Takes out folded piece of paper]
Homer Simpson: Bingo! [Unfolds paper; it takes a long time]
Homer Simpson: Bear with me. [finally unfolds paper, a huge poster of Alaska with the tagline "A Fresh Start"]
Lisa Simpson: Alaska?
Homer Simpson: Alaska! Where you can't be too fat or too drunk. When no one says things like "Let's see your high school equivalency certificate."

Movie: The Simpsons Movie
Montgomery Burns: What are you telling us, were trapped like rats?
Russ Cargill: No, rats can't be trapped this easily, you're trapped like... carrots.

Movie: The Simpsons Movie
[car tyres screech to a halt outside. The Simpsons' silhouettes as the family make their way to the church door. Their conversation can also be heard]
Marge Simpson: I hate being late!
Homer Simpson: Well I hate going. Why can't I worship the Lord in my own way, by praying like hell on my death bed.
Marge Simpson: Homer, they can hear you inside!
Homer Simpson: Relax! Those pious morons are too busy talking to their phoney-baloney God! [the family enter the church to total silence and angry looks. They make their way to their pew]
Homer Simpson: How ya doin'? Peace be with you. Praise Jebus.

Movie: The Simpsons Movie