The Producers Quotes

Hold me, Touch me: Oh, hold me! Touch me!
Max Bialystock: Thursday! Thursday!

Movie: The Producers
Max Bialystock: Here's to failure
Leo Bloom: ...To failure
Drunk: Why, thank you! You're very kind!

Movie: The Producers
Max Bialystock: Max Bialystock is launching himself into little old lady land.

Movie: The Producers
Nathan Lane: I think it's time to bring out Marlon Brando. Mr. Brando, how do you feel the recording session is going?
Matthew Broderick: [as Brando] What's bein' recorded?
Nathan Lane: I don't know whether you heard, but we're doing a little show called The Producers.
Matthew Broderick: [as Brando] But what are you producin'? Do you produce the laughs? Cheap hackneyed humor for a public which is 'preciated on droolinphibble.
Nathan Lane: Well, don't get your kaftan in a twist.
Matthew Broderick: [as Brando] This kaftan is made entirely of seaweed. Every bit of fabric. It's renewable... renewable and from the sea.
Nathan Lane: Really.
Matthew Broderick: [as Brando] I can eat it when I'm done wearin' it.
Nathan Lane: Here you go. I knew we'd get some entertainment!

Movie: The Producers
Roger De Bris: Will the dancing Hitlers please wait in the wings? We are only seeing singing Hitlers.

Movie: The Producers
[Carmen answers the phone, a piano underscore playing]
Carmen Ghia: Hello, the living room of renowned theatrical director Roger De Bris' elegant Upper East Side townhouse on a sunny Tuesday afternoon in June. Whom may I say is calling? [Carmen frowns and the piano abruptly stops]
Carmen Ghia: Listen, you broken down old queen. He was drunk, he was hot, you got lucky! Don't ever call here again! [he slams the phone down]
Roger De Bris: Who was that?
Carmen Ghia: Wrong number!

Movie: The Producers