The Middleman Quotes

Guy Goddard: Chickie-baby's never been to a supervillain island lair, has she? Sweet, when a bad man builds a home for a world-destroying ray, the first thing he buys...
The Middleman: Are an automated missile defense package...
Guy Goddard: Barrier mines...
The Middleman: Android guards who will keep protecting the island centuries after the supervillain has died...
Guy Goddard: And a lot of Scandinavian furniture.

Movie: The Middleman
[creature runs around noisily while being tased]
The Middleman: Heck of a mess, huh.
Wendy Watson: Excuse me? [Creature explodes - all is quiet]
The Middleman: I said, heck of a mess. Huh.
Wendy Watson: Whatever. I'm a temp. [sirens approach]
The Middleman: Hey, now! The heat's on its way. Okay, cowgirl, here's your marching orders. Anyone asks, this was a gas main explosion. I was never here, this conversation never took place.
Wendy Watson: Marching orders? What about that hentai tentacle monster?
The Middleman: [shrugs] Tell the truth if you want, but if you do, I'm going to have to root you like a hog and kill you. [beat]
The Middleman: Sorry. So, what's it going to be: Keep the secret, or death?
Wendy Watson: What do you think?
The Middleman: Ma'am, specificity is the soul of all good communication.
Wendy Watson: [beat] Yes. Duh. [his wristwatch Voice Stress Analyzer reads 99%]
The Middleman: Outstanding. You're good under pressure.
Wendy Watson: Are you hitting on me?
The Middleman: Just making an observation.
Wendy Watson: [not quite under her breath] Hellooo, nutjob, party of one.
The Middleman: No, Ma'am. I'm just The Middleman.

Movie: The Middleman