The Martian Quotes
Mark Watney: I've been thinking about laws on Mars. There's an international treaty saying that no country can lay claim to anything that's not on Earth. By another treaty if you're not in any country's territory, maritime law aplies. So Mars is international waters. Now, NASA is an American non-military organization, it owns the Hab. But the second I walk outside I'm in international waters. So Here's the cool part. I'm about to leave for the Schiaparelli Crater where I'm going to commandeer the Ares IV lander. Nobody explicitly gave me permission to do this, and they can't until I'm on board the Ares IV. So I'm going to be taking a craft over in international waters without permission, which by definition... makes me a pirate. Mark Watney: Space Pirate.
Movie: The Martian
Mark Watney: I don't want to come off as arrogant here, but I'm the greatest botanist on this planet.
Movie: The Martian
Mark Watney: They say once you grow crops somewhere, you have officially colonized it. So, technically, I colonized Mars. In your face, Neil Armstrong!
Movie: The Martian
Mark Watney: [From deleted scene]Every human being has a basic instinct: to help each other out. If a hiker gets lost in the mountains, people will coordinate a search. If a train crashes, people will line up to give blood. If an earthquake levels a city, people all over the world will send emergency supplies. This is so fundamentally human that it's found in every culture without exception. Yes, there are assholes who just don't care, but they're massively outnumbered by the people who do. ~ Mark Watney, The Martian
Movie: The Martian
Mark Watney: [recording a video message]If the oxygenator breaks down, I'll suffocate. If the water reclaimer breaks down, I'll die of thirst. If the hab breaches, I'll just kind of implode. If none of those things happen, I'll eventually run out of food and starve to death. So, yeah... Yeah...
Movie: The Martian
[last lines] Mark Watney: At some point, everything's gonna go south on you... everything's going to go south and you're going to say, this is it. This is how I end. Now you can either accept that, or you can get to work. That's all it is. You just begin. You do the math. You solve one problem... and you solve the next one... and then the next. And If you solve enough problems, you get to come home. All right, questions?
Movie: The Martian
Mark Watney: I admit it's fatally dangerous, but I'd get to fly around like Iron Man.
Movie: The Martian
Mark Watney: I've got to make a lot more water. The good thing is, I know the recipe: You take hydrogen, you add oxygen, and you burn. Now, I have hundreds of liters of unused hydrazine at the MDV. If I run the hydrazine over an iridium catalyst, it'll separate into N2 and H2. And then if I just direct the hydrogen into a small area and burn it. Luckily, in the history of humanity, nothing bad has ever happened from lighting hydrogen on fire.
Movie: The Martian
Mark Watney: It's a strange feeling. Everywhere I go, I'm the first. Step outside the rover? First guy ever to be there! Climb a hill? First guy to climb that hill! Kick a rock? That rock hadn't moved in a million years! I'm the first guy to drive long-distance on Mars. The first guy to spend more than thirty-one sols on Mars. The first guy to grow crops on Mars. First, first, first!
Movie: The Martian
Mark Watney: In the face of overwhelming odds, I'm left with only one option, I'm gonna have to science the shit out of this.
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Teddy Sanders: If we are going to have a secret project called Elrond, then I want my code name to be Glorfindel.
Movie: The Martian
Mark Watney: [after trying to make water by burning hydrogen]So, yeah, I blew myself up. Best guess, I forgot to account for the excess oxygen that I've been exhaling when I did my calculations because I'm stupid. I'm gonna get back to work here just as soon as my ears stop ringing.
Movie: The Martian
Mark Watney: [after finding out the intercept distance is too far]Did you say 312? Yeah, I'll just wave to you guys as I go by.
Movie: The Martian
Mark Watney: The other question I get most frequently is. When I was up there stranded by myself, did I think I was gonna die? Yes, absolutely. And that's one you need to know, going in, because it's gonna happen to you. This is space. It does not cooperate.
Movie: The Martian
Mark Watney: [after hearing he has to take the top off of the Mars Ascent Vehicle]I know what they're doing. I know exactly what they're doing. They just keep repeating go faster than any man in the history of space travel, like that's a good thing. Like it'll distract me from how insane their plan is. Yeah, I get to go faster than any man in the history of space travel, because you're launching me in a convertible. Actually it's worse than that, because I won't even be able to control the thing. And by the way, physicists, when describing things like acceleration do not use the word fast. So they're only doing that in the hopes that I won't raise any objections to this lunacy, because I like the way fastest man in the history of space travel sounds. I do like the way it sounds... I mean, I like it a lot. [pauses]
Mark Watney: I'm not gonna tell them that.
Mark Watney: I'm not gonna tell them that.
Movie: The Martian
Vincent Kapoor: Mark, please watch your language. Everything you type is being broadcast live all over the world.
Mark Watney: Yeah? [he proceeds to swear even more]
Vincent Kapoor: Oh my God...!
Mark Watney: Yeah? [he proceeds to swear even more]
Vincent Kapoor: Oh my God...!
Movie: The Martian
Annie Montrose: I mean, what are we gonna say, Dear America, remember that astronaut we killed and had a really nice funeral for? Turns out he's alive and we left him on Mars. Our bad. Sincerely, NASA. I mean, do you realize the shit storm that is about to hit us?
Movie: The Martian
Vincent Kapoor: How's he doing?
Mindy Park: Uh... He asked us to call him Captain Blondebeard.
Mindy Park: Uh... He asked us to call him Captain Blondebeard.
Movie: The Martian
Mark Watney: Welcome to the Astronaut Candidate Program. Now pay attention, because this could save your life. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about.
Movie: The Martian
Mark Watney: [eating a potato]It has been *seven days* since I ran out of ketchup!
Movie: The Martian