The Italian Job Quotes
Charlie Croker: Guys, I want to make a toast. To John Bridger. The most brilliant master planner of all. Father and friend.
Stella: To my Dad.
Stella: To my Dad.
Movie: The Italian Job
[last lines]
Charlie Croker: [voice over narration] I took John Bridger's advice. I found somebody I want to spend the rest of my life with and I'm going to hold onto her forever.
Charlie Croker: [voice over narration] I took John Bridger's advice. I found somebody I want to spend the rest of my life with and I'm going to hold onto her forever.
Movie: The Italian Job
[watching Stella's high-tech system of safecracking]
Charlie Croker: You know, your dad was old school. Did the whole thing by touch.
Charlie Croker: You know, your dad was old school. Did the whole thing by touch.
Movie: The Italian Job
[Lyle isn't answering Charlie's calls]
Handsome Rob: He only answers to The Napster now, Charlie
Charlie Croker: Oh, no. I am not calling you The Napster.
Lyle: Why not? You call him Left Ear.
Left Ear: Well, I am.
Lyle: And him Handsome Rob.
Charlie Croker: Well, that's because he is Handsome Rob!
Handsome Rob: He only answers to The Napster now, Charlie
Charlie Croker: Oh, no. I am not calling you The Napster.
Lyle: Why not? You call him Left Ear.
Left Ear: Well, I am.
Lyle: And him Handsome Rob.
Charlie Croker: Well, that's because he is Handsome Rob!
Movie: The Italian Job
John Bridger: You know, Charlie, there are two kinds of thieves in this world: those who steal to enrich their lives, and those who steal to define their lives. Don't be the latter. Makes you miss out on what's really important in this life.
Charlie Croker: What are you talking about, John? You've been a good father.
John Bridger: Sitting in prisons doesn't make you a good father. I spent half my kid's life in prison. Don't get to be my age with nothing but this, Charlie. Find somebody you want to spend the rest of your life with, and hold onto her forever.
Charlie Croker: What are you talking about, John? You've been a good father.
John Bridger: Sitting in prisons doesn't make you a good father. I spent half my kid's life in prison. Don't get to be my age with nothing but this, Charlie. Find somebody you want to spend the rest of your life with, and hold onto her forever.
Movie: The Italian Job
Steve: You blew the best thing you had going for you. You blew the element of surprise.
[Charlie punches Steve]
Charlie Croker: Surprised?
[Charlie punches Steve]
Charlie Croker: Surprised?
Movie: The Italian Job
[Lyle is impersonating Handsome Rob and the cable girl]
Lyle: [as Handsome Rob] Nice to meet you, I'm Handsome Rob and you are?
Lyle: [as Girl] My name's Becky. Buts its uh, written on my shirt.
Lyle: [as Handsome Rob] Listen, I'm gonna need your shirt and your truck.
Lyle: [as Girl] Perect I'll give 'em both to ya, would you like my virginity as well?
Lyle: [as Handsome Rob] If it's on the menu.
Lyle: [as Girl] Haha you're so witty, why don't you take advantage of me?
Lyle: [as Handsome Rob] Yeh your not too bright, are you?
Lyle: [as Girl] No.
Lyle: [as Handsome Rob] Perfect.
Lyle: [as Handsome Rob] Nice to meet you, I'm Handsome Rob and you are?
Lyle: [as Girl] My name's Becky. Buts its uh, written on my shirt.
Lyle: [as Handsome Rob] Listen, I'm gonna need your shirt and your truck.
Lyle: [as Girl] Perect I'll give 'em both to ya, would you like my virginity as well?
Lyle: [as Handsome Rob] If it's on the menu.
Lyle: [as Girl] Haha you're so witty, why don't you take advantage of me?
Lyle: [as Handsome Rob] Yeh your not too bright, are you?
Lyle: [as Girl] No.
Lyle: [as Handsome Rob] Perfect.
Movie: The Italian Job
Lyle: [seeing the name Becky on the cable-girl's uniform; specifically on her left breast] Becky, huh? Wonder what she calls the other one...
Handsome Rob: And it's such a mystery why you don't have a girlfriend, Lyle.
Handsome Rob: And it's such a mystery why you don't have a girlfriend, Lyle.
Movie: The Italian Job
Handsome Rob: Come on, Charlie. They were at the same college at the same time.
Charlie Croker: Why are you encouraging this?
Charlie Croker: Why are you encouraging this?
Movie: The Italian Job
[Timing the getaway to Union Station]
Handsome Rob: It's either bad traffic, peak traffic, slit-your-wrist traffic... you know, five people died from smoking in between traffic lights.
Left Ear: You know, they do have the Metrorail, Rob, you could always use that.
Handsome Rob: Yeah, that'd be ideal for carrying a ton of gold now, wouldn't it, genius?
Charlie Croker: What's your guesstimate?
Handsome Rob: The last twenty times I done this journey, you've got an average of 32 minutes and a top time of 50, but if we had green lights all the way, we could do it in 14 minutes.
Stella: Wait, you couldn't get through traffic?
Handsome Rob: It's either bad traffic, peak traffic, slit-your-wrist traffic... you know, five people died from smoking in between traffic lights.
Left Ear: You know, they do have the Metrorail, Rob, you could always use that.
Handsome Rob: Yeah, that'd be ideal for carrying a ton of gold now, wouldn't it, genius?
Charlie Croker: What's your guesstimate?
Handsome Rob: The last twenty times I done this journey, you've got an average of 32 minutes and a top time of 50, but if we had green lights all the way, we could do it in 14 minutes.
Stella: Wait, you couldn't get through traffic?
Movie: The Italian Job
Charlie Croker: We set?
Lyle: Yeah. I've enhanced the viewing matrix to track both the Cartesian coordinates and three altitude angles to give the exact position and orientation of our baby.
Left Ear: We're in Italy. Speak English.
Lyle: Yeah. I've enhanced the viewing matrix to track both the Cartesian coordinates and three altitude angles to give the exact position and orientation of our baby.
Left Ear: We're in Italy. Speak English.
Movie: The Italian Job
Lorna: [after hearing a rapid knock at the door] It's the Law, Charlie!
Charlie Croker: What you tell 'em?
Lorna: Charlie, would I tell them anything?
Charlie Croker: ...Yes you would.
Charlie Croker: What you tell 'em?
Lorna: Charlie, would I tell them anything?
Charlie Croker: ...Yes you would.
Movie: The Italian Job
[Lyle isn't answering Charlie's calls]
Handsome Rob: He only answers to "The Napster" now, Charlie
Charlie Croker: Oh, no. I am not calling you The Napster.
Lyle: Why not? You call him Left Ear.
Left Ear: Well, I am.
Lyle: And him Handsome Rob.
Charlie Croker: Well, that's because he is Handsome Rob!
Lyle: Well you can call me The Napster.
Handsome Rob: He only answers to "The Napster" now, Charlie
Charlie Croker: Oh, no. I am not calling you The Napster.
Lyle: Why not? You call him Left Ear.
Left Ear: Well, I am.
Lyle: And him Handsome Rob.
Charlie Croker: Well, that's because he is Handsome Rob!
Lyle: Well you can call me The Napster.
Movie: The Italian Job
Lyle: [Handsome Rob approaches Becky, the cable technician, in the parking lot. Lyle watches, amazed] Are you kidding me? How does he do that? How do you do that? What are you saying?
[Lyle narrates the conversation with alternating Handsome Rob and ditzy female voices]
Lyle: [speaking as Handsome Rob] Hey, how are you?
Lyle: [speaking as Becky] Oh, I'm good!
Lyle: [Handsome Rob] Nice to meet you. I'm Handsome Rob. And you are?
Lyle: [Becky] Oh, my name's Becky, but it's written on my shirt!
Lyle: [Handsome Rob] Listen, I'm gonna need your shirt, and your truck.
Lyle: [Becky] Perfect! I'll give them both to you. Would you like my virginity as well?
Lyle: [Handsome Rob] If it's on the menu.
Lyle: [Becky] Oh, you're so witty! Why don't you take advantage of me?
Lyle: [Handsome Rob] Yeah, you're not too bright, are you?
Lyle: [Becky] No.
Lyle: [Handsome Rob] Perfect.
[Lyle narrates the conversation with alternating Handsome Rob and ditzy female voices]
Lyle: [speaking as Handsome Rob] Hey, how are you?
Lyle: [speaking as Becky] Oh, I'm good!
Lyle: [Handsome Rob] Nice to meet you. I'm Handsome Rob. And you are?
Lyle: [Becky] Oh, my name's Becky, but it's written on my shirt!
Lyle: [Handsome Rob] Listen, I'm gonna need your shirt, and your truck.
Lyle: [Becky] Perfect! I'll give them both to you. Would you like my virginity as well?
Lyle: [Handsome Rob] If it's on the menu.
Lyle: [Becky] Oh, you're so witty! Why don't you take advantage of me?
Lyle: [Handsome Rob] Yeah, you're not too bright, are you?
Lyle: [Becky] No.
Lyle: [Handsome Rob] Perfect.
Movie: The Italian Job
Lyle: [seeing the name "Becky" on the cable-girl's uniform; specifically on her left breast] Becky, huh? Nice name. I wonder what she calls the other one...
Handsome Rob: And it's such a mystery why you don't have a girlfriend, Lyle.
Handsome Rob: And it's such a mystery why you don't have a girlfriend, Lyle.
Movie: The Italian Job
[timing the getaway to Union Station]
Handsome Rob: It's either bad traffic, peak traffic, slit-your-wrist traffic... you know, five people died from smoking in between traffic lights today.
Left Ear: You know, they do have the Metrorail, Rob, you could always use that.
Handsome Rob: Yeah, that'd be ideal for carrying a ton of gold now, wouldn't it, genius?
Charlie Croker: What's your guesstimate?
Handsome Rob: The last twenty times I done this journey, you've got an average of thirty two minutes and a top time of fifty, but if we had green lights all the way, we could do it in fourteen minutes.
Stella: [poking fun] What? Couldn't get through traffic?
Handsome Rob: It's either bad traffic, peak traffic, slit-your-wrist traffic... you know, five people died from smoking in between traffic lights today.
Left Ear: You know, they do have the Metrorail, Rob, you could always use that.
Handsome Rob: Yeah, that'd be ideal for carrying a ton of gold now, wouldn't it, genius?
Charlie Croker: What's your guesstimate?
Handsome Rob: The last twenty times I done this journey, you've got an average of thirty two minutes and a top time of fifty, but if we had green lights all the way, we could do it in fourteen minutes.
Stella: [poking fun] What? Couldn't get through traffic?
Movie: The Italian Job
Steve: So if I was to ask you out for dinner, would I be the first one of your customers to ever do that?
Stella: Did you ask your last cable repair guy out to dinner?
Steve: No. But the last one was like three hundred pounds and had a handlebar mustache.
Stella: Did you ask your last cable repair guy out to dinner?
Steve: No. But the last one was like three hundred pounds and had a handlebar mustache.
Movie: The Italian Job
Charlie Croker: We set?
Lyle: Yeah. I've enhanced the viewing matrix to track both the Cartesian coordinates and three altitude angles to give the exact position and orientation of our baby.
Left Ear: We're in Italy. Speak English.
Lyle: Yeah. I've enhanced the viewing matrix to track both the Cartesian coordinates and three altitude angles to give the exact position and orientation of our baby.
Left Ear: We're in Italy. Speak English.
Movie: The Italian Job
Handsome Rob: [after learning the value of the gold they've stolen] Twenty-seven million...
Left Ear: Say it again, man.
Handsome Rob: [louder] Twenty-seven million!
Left Ear: Again!
Handsome Rob: *Twenty-seven million!*
Left Ear: Say it again, man.
Handsome Rob: [louder] Twenty-seven million!
Left Ear: Again!
Handsome Rob: *Twenty-seven million!*
Movie: The Italian Job
[first lines]
Stella: [on the phone] Hello.
John Bridger: [on the phone] Hello, sweetie.
Stella: [on the phone] Daddy, it's early.
Stella: [on the phone] Hello.
John Bridger: [on the phone] Hello, sweetie.
Stella: [on the phone] Daddy, it's early.
Movie: The Italian Job
Charlie Croker: Steve, how we looking?
Steve: Papa took the boat to work at eight fifteen, so the garage is empty. Mama left with daughter at eight thirty for pre-school, as usual, so for the next forty five minutes, we own this place gentleman.
Steve: Papa took the boat to work at eight fifteen, so the garage is empty. Mama left with daughter at eight thirty for pre-school, as usual, so for the next forty five minutes, we own this place gentleman.
Movie: The Italian Job
Stella's Receptionist: How long to crack it?
Stella Bridger: Four minutes, and forty three seconds.
Stella's Receptionist: You're the man.
Stella Bridger: What's in the line up?
Stella's Receptionist: Todd Millikan called. He has a prototype combination lock he wants you to test out. He says he added two false contact points on the tumbler.
Stella Bridger: I'll pretend to be stumped for a couple of seconds. Give him a thrill.
Stella Bridger: Four minutes, and forty three seconds.
Stella's Receptionist: You're the man.
Stella Bridger: What's in the line up?
Stella's Receptionist: Todd Millikan called. He has a prototype combination lock he wants you to test out. He says he added two false contact points on the tumbler.
Stella Bridger: I'll pretend to be stumped for a couple of seconds. Give him a thrill.
Movie: The Italian Job
Left Ear: Okay, party people. Here's the status. There's an anti-scaling fence, hardened electro-plated steel. Yeah, I'll have to paint that up with some nitromon.
Charlie Croker: Security on the property?
Left Ear: An armed guard, here. A little rent-a-cop with a nine millimeter on his hip. But that booth, security booth looks prime for a chemical grenade.
Lyle: Nitromon? Chemical grenades? That stuff's pretty hard to come by.
Left Ear: Yeah, Lyle, it's a bear market. Shit!
Charlie Croker: Security on the property?
Left Ear: An armed guard, here. A little rent-a-cop with a nine millimeter on his hip. But that booth, security booth looks prime for a chemical grenade.
Lyle: Nitromon? Chemical grenades? That stuff's pretty hard to come by.
Left Ear: Yeah, Lyle, it's a bear market. Shit!
Movie: The Italian Job
Stella Bridger: Yeah, but so how do we get the gold from the vault to the getaway car.
Charlie Croker: How wide is the hallway... Napster?
Lyle: Six feet.
Handsome Rob: Okay, you've got your gold.
Charlie Croker: How wide is the hallway... Napster?
Lyle: Six feet.
Handsome Rob: Okay, you've got your gold.
Movie: The Italian Job
Charlie Croker: This is it, guys. Moment of truth. What the hell is this? Shit! Steve's neighbors throwing a party.
Valet: Are you here for the Baker party, Sir?
Charlie Croker: No.
Valet: Are you here for the Baker party, Sir?
Charlie Croker: No.
Movie: The Italian Job
Steve: The gang's all here.
Stella Bridger: You know, the only thing worse than a thief is a coward.
Steve: Then you shoulda seen the way your Daddy begged for his life.
Stella Bridger: You know, the only thing worse than a thief is a coward.
Steve: Then you shoulda seen the way your Daddy begged for his life.
Movie: The Italian Job
Steve: Don't talk about right or wrong with me, man, because I don't give a shit. Okay? You got your cards, I got my cards. We made our play, and I came out on top. Okay? Now, if you want to start the game up again, that's fine with me. What is your play here, really? Come on, what do you? What do you think? You'll try to take out my guards, right? I have five of them that you don't know about. You'll try to have Lyle hack the system? I'll change it again tomorrow morning. What was your final move? I mean. Have Bridger's daughter come in and try to crack my safe? That's very poetic and all, but I just don't see it. I don't think she'll get anywhere near it.
Charlie Croker: Same old Steve huh? Always thinking defensively. That's why you're always number two.
Charlie Croker: Same old Steve huh? Always thinking defensively. That's why you're always number two.
Movie: The Italian Job
Charlie Croker: [trailer only] You ready to create the biggest traffic jam in the history of Los Angeles?
Lyle: I'm so ready.
Lyle: I'm so ready.
Movie: The Italian Job