The Incredible Burt Wonderstone Quotes
Jane: [after Gray burns his skin for a trick]That is a terrible trick to do for children. What if they try and copy you?
Steve Gray: I'll sue them. It's my trick.
Steve Gray: I'll sue them. It's my trick.
Movie: The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
Burt Wonderstone: Are you a lesbian, Nicole?
Jane: Is every woman who doesn't sleep with you a lesbian?
Burt Wonderstone: Oh, no, I have slept with plenty of lesbians.
Jane: Is every woman who doesn't sleep with you a lesbian?
Burt Wonderstone: Oh, no, I have slept with plenty of lesbians.
Movie: The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
Steve Gray: I take people's nightmares and turn them into dream-realities.
Rance Holloway: What the fuck is a dream-reality?
Rance Holloway: What the fuck is a dream-reality?
Movie: The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
Burt Wonderstone: What the hell is a webisode?
Rick the Implausible: Are you being serious? What's a webisode? It's... it's a show that you do on the internet, just like being on TV or having a movie except you don't go... through... you know all the hassle of... people seeing it.
Rick the Implausible: Are you being serious? What's a webisode? It's... it's a show that you do on the internet, just like being on TV or having a movie except you don't go... through... you know all the hassle of... people seeing it.
Movie: The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
Burt Wonderstone: [dismissive of Gray's magic act]Let me tell you about Steve Gray. All that guy does is mumble and cut himself. Anybody can do that. My niece does that.
Movie: The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
Burt Wonderstone: [Wonderstone confronts Gray in a bar]Mr. Gray. What you do is not magic. It is monkey porn.
Steve Gray: I understand. It's natural for a dying leaf to be frightened by the autumn wind.
Steve Gray: I understand. It's natural for a dying leaf to be frightened by the autumn wind.
Movie: The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
Burt Wonderstone: [landing on Anton after falling out of the Hot Box]Ow, your face caught me right in the knee.
Movie: The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
Burt Wonderstone: Do you think this batch is ready?
Anton Marvelton: I don't know. Check it. [Burt takes the lid off the pot and they immediately fall to the floor; after a few moments they stand up and approach the pot]
Burt Wonderstone: Do you think this batch is ready?
Anton Marvelton: I don't know. Check it. [Burt takes the lid off the pot and they immediately fall to the floor again]
Anton Marvelton: I don't know. Check it. [Burt takes the lid off the pot and they immediately fall to the floor; after a few moments they stand up and approach the pot]
Burt Wonderstone: Do you think this batch is ready?
Anton Marvelton: I don't know. Check it. [Burt takes the lid off the pot and they immediately fall to the floor again]
Movie: The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
Burt Wonderstone: Anton, what could possibly go wrong?
Anton Marvelton: Somebody could die, we can go to prison.
Burt Wonderstone: See? When you say it out loud, it doesn't sound so bad.
Anton Marvelton: Somebody could die, we can go to prison.
Burt Wonderstone: See? When you say it out loud, it doesn't sound so bad.
Movie: The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
Jane: [Burt and Jane visit Rance in the hospital]What happened?
Rance Holloway: I had a stroke. I don't recommend it, either. It's not as much fun as they tell you in the brochure.
Rance Holloway: I had a stroke. I don't recommend it, either. It's not as much fun as they tell you in the brochure.
Movie: The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
Doug Munny: [asking Burt and Anton to update their act]You've been doing the same shit since I hired you. You even come on stage to that same god damn song.
Burt Wonderstone: It's called Abracadabra, and it is considered a modern classic.
Doug Munny: It's shit.
Burt Wonderstone: It's called Abracadabra, and it is considered a modern classic.
Doug Munny: It's shit.
Movie: The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
Rance Holloway: [watching Steve Gray perform]This is what they call magic these days? This is some kind of terrible shit!
Movie: The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
Rance Holloway: I quit the business, I don't read the trades and I'm late for my coma.
Movie: The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
Rance Holloway: God damn! That's the worst thing I ever saw in my life. And I saw my kids being born!
Movie: The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
Burt Wonderstone: [for a trick, Steve Gray put a puppy in Burt's pants]He put a dog in my pants, Jane.
Jane: I know.
Burt Wonderstone: No one's ever done that to me before.
Jane: I... hope not.
Burt Wonderstone: He was teething!
Jane: I know.
Burt Wonderstone: No one's ever done that to me before.
Jane: I... hope not.
Burt Wonderstone: He was teething!
Movie: The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
Rance Holloway: What you're feeling right now. That sense of awe. That sense of wonderment. That sense that anything in the universe is possible. That's why you became a magician. That's why I became a magician.
Movie: The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
Young Burt: [in the school lunchroom]You're that kid who's always in the nurse's office, right?
Young Anton: Not always. Sometimes they send me to the hospital.
Young Burt: [he sees Anton taking out bottles of medication]What are those for?
Young Anton: This one's for my allergies, and this one's for my asthma. And this is testosterone. My doctor says I'm dangerously close to being a girl.
Young Anton: Not always. Sometimes they send me to the hospital.
Young Burt: [he sees Anton taking out bottles of medication]What are those for?
Young Anton: This one's for my allergies, and this one's for my asthma. And this is testosterone. My doctor says I'm dangerously close to being a girl.
Movie: The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
Burt Wonderstone: [to a magician's assistant he has just fired]Go get a job at Cirque de So-Lame.
Movie: The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
Burt Wonderstone: Now this is a classic.
Steve Gray: Meaning: it's been done.
Steve Gray: Meaning: it's been done.
Movie: The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
[shooting his cable series, Steve Gray has taunted an audience member into punching him in the face] Anton Marvelton: Jesus. Was that guy a plant?
Burt Wonderstone: That looked like a real punch.
Burt Wonderstone: That looked like a real punch.
Movie: The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
[after splitting with Anton, Burt tries to do their act by himself] Doug Munny: That was shit! That was shit! That was shit!
Burt Wonderstone: I thought it went pretty damn well.
Doug Munny: It was a train wreck!
Burt Wonderstone: I thought it went pretty damn well.
Doug Munny: It was a train wreck!
Movie: The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
Burt Wonderstone: The life of a child magician.
Jane: Yes. Try being a girl child magician. They called me Magic Bitch.
Jane: Yes. Try being a girl child magician. They called me Magic Bitch.
Movie: The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
Burt Wonderstone: Can I ask you something?
Rance Holloway: If you feel you should.
Rance Holloway: If you feel you should.
Movie: The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
Anton Marvelton: I go to places where the children have neither food nor clean water and I give them magic.
Reporter in Cambodia: Do you also give them food and clean water?
Anton Marvelton: Well, no, I'm a magician - i bring magic.
Reporter in Cambodia: Do you also give them food and clean water?
Anton Marvelton: Well, no, I'm a magician - i bring magic.
Movie: The Incredible Burt Wonderstone